I was going 122mph in a 65 and got a dui on top of it
 

It was my birthday and my ex had been in town for a week which was a great source of frustration - but - I went to a strip club (my first time!!) and that was a lot of fun ... one lady even got me to come up to the stage and THEN she got a dollar out of me (which is a big deal because I don't give women money) .. Then back there on the patio I made another stripper mad, something about not tipping, well I didn't even go up to the stage for her anyway

Well

And I think the intoxilyzer thing is full of shit too because it gave me a 1.37 and I only had two drinks and was at the club several hours

PS: Some of you on here were right about me.. I'm not too bright.. My ex has been gone for about what six weeks, and I gambled off all of my money and don't even have my apartment now .. then I let her come back for a week after having been gone 5 so that she could fuck with me some more ..

But I did learn SOME good news. I can't stand my ex instead of missing her, now, AND I LOVE strip clubs. If anyone knows any secrets about defending a dui I'd appreciate that .. I think I'm slowly beginning to become like that sheen guy .. I mean hell next I'll be doing three years and five years and learning how to do coke off of naked womens buttholes and all of that :helpme

Also as an aside they always say strippers are so dirty. . . the lady who got the dollar out of me put her shit right in my face with her panties pulled to the side. . . and it was one of the cleanest smelling snatches I've ever seen.. ymmv (old people write that- ymmv) :1orglaugh

:helpme:helpme:helpme:helpme:helpme:helpme

No one is going to help ME but it's nice that GFY exists so I can ramble about my pseudo interesting experiences in the middle of nowhere to people who may have actual lives (which 90% of you don't.. but some do, so..)

How'd you get the coupe de ville up to 122 mph?

What's the definition of insanity?

Live with peace and live and this wont happen
you could have murdered someone.

After a little research here is his mugshot.


http://blogs.miaminewtimes.com/riptide/mugshot5.jpg

:helpme

That's an eldo.. it actually has two northstars.. one in the front one in the trunk ... supposed to be almost perfectly balanced weight wise and you're going a whole lot more than 122 in that

Most Devilles are governed down to 112 .. I use to drive mine 111 all day with the cruise on .. good cars

The Concours was governed to 130 I think?

Oh and on the OBDII devilles you could take the limiter off if you did some trickery with a Z rated cars vin or some shit


I was driving a Honda

is this for real ?

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

im jerking off to this thread

hope that helps

1.37 and 122mph?

You get what's coming to ya.

You wouldnt be out of jail right now if you had committed that crime.

1.37 you are lucky to be alive

1.37?? Am I missing Something?

0.03 BAC - Slowed reaction time.
0.04 BAC - Federal prohibited limit for commercial drivers license.
0.05 BAC - Increased risk taking and American Medical Association recommended prohibited limit.
0.08 BAC - Recommended prohibited limit for criminal charges and impaired vision.
0.10 BAC - Poor large muscle control, loss of balance, and prohibited limit in most states.
0.17 BAC - National average blood alcohol level of drivers in a fatal crash.
0.19 BAC - National average for first time DUI offender and of persons who have killed police officers.
0.20 BAC - Loss of emotional control.
0.22 BAC - National average for replete DUI offenders at time of arrest.
0.30 BAC - Loss of orientation as to time and place,.
0.35 BAC - Blackouts and stupor.
0.50 BAC - Published overdose level leading to death.
0.74 BAC - Highest recorded blood alcohol level by a US hospital.

I don't think it's possible to blow a 0.137 if you only had 2 beers.

Get a DUI lawyer. If you really only had 2 beers then you will probably beat it. Google "last drink defence".

Depends on the laws in your area though.

edit: how much do you weigh?

He's got the decimal in the wrong place.

Yeah got to be. or you would be dead

I think he forgot to mention that the beers were the tall 32 ounce drafts.

I always wonder why fucking people talk to there ex, like seriously, the smartest thing I was doing at the end of all my old relationships I JUST STOPED TALKING TO THEM and all my problems with them would go away :D

How can you go into a strip club and not tip? I'm suprised the bounces didn't throw you out.

Why not just go to a regular bar?

122 mph? Lucky for us that you didn't get killed.

or someone else :2 cents:

He's got more than a decimal in the wrong place.

http://mychinaconnection.com/wp-cont...se-150x150.jpg

Just get drunk and cruise around the supermarket parking lots. Tons of hot women just throw one in the back of the van. Get a friend to help you.. some hot bitches and cheaper than strip clubs.

dude, let me help you out.

1) go drive your car off a cliff hundreds of miles away. leave NOW

2) hitch hike in the opposite direction at least 2x the amount you traveled to the cliff to ditch your car

3) 15 minutes into your trip, make the drive stop. get out and throw your wallet out on the OTHER side of the road. take out any money and only leave in credit cards but take the ID

4) arrive at your new destination and look for the most shaddy motel you can find.

5) this part is key... you want to look for the "fall guy" so look for someone who has been staying at the motel and looks like a drug addict, ideally the same race as you.

6) go buy a pizza and rope. now go to the drug addicts door, knock hard and then when he opens, punch him square in the neck. this will cause him to stop breathing for a bit and make sure to knock him to the ground. tie him to whatever you can find.

7) now take the rope and give yourself rope burns on your hands and feet. get some paper and write down the names of your relatives and family members. then cross them out and write small $$ amounts next to each.

8) smash some of the furniture around then call the police. tell them you've been kidnapped and taken to some weird place. tell the cops someone stole your ID, car and wallet and was going to your house to try and find money.

9) last, take the ID and put it in the addicts mouth to get DNA and slobber all over it. now put the ID in HIS/HER pocket and sit outside. put soap in your eyes to help the crying and make sure to emphasis that you were "touched."

10) tell them you were kidnapped hours before when you got pulled over. cops are stupid and not want to admit they made a mistake, but rather go along with your lie so they don't get in trouble

No no .137

Being in Kansas for too long turns your brain to mush. I swear. I use to be a lot more mindful.

I actually know a guy who could get away with that.. for real :1orglaugh

This is exactly what I thought too when I read this love story.

Fucking dumbass hope you go to jail.

Don't worry.. I definitely will... 90 days to 1 year
I so do not want to do that but when you're poor you go

Well not to mention when you're stupid enough to do what I did

I still say the .137 is crazy - I had two drinks over several hours

I feel stupid now for calling this guy a dipshit in the beginning. Can't believe I actually thought he was a loser destined for prison or an early grave.

This is particularly hard for me because i've always considered myself to one who can read people quite well... not sure how I could have been so far off on this one.

:Oh crap

It's time for rehab maxwell!

Hope you don't get raped by the big black men

No it's time for death before strugglin :thumbsup

I won't
I was in county before and I did fine
I even lived in the big scary white people area of the pod because I was making good trades and shit .. I always profited but when one of them was ever hard up for lunch or something I had their back

The black guys thought I was crazy but we did good business they always wanted combs and always had coffee sweetner for some reason so that worked out great
Ran into one of them on the outs and we ended up driving around and he was all hard inside but when he saw my gun he's WOW YOU REALLY HAVE ONE IS IT LOADED all bug eyed L O L

Now if I went to prison god knows what would happen. . Not sure I'd make it there. . I heart that some are easy and others are gladiator school so

And here I am thinking that I'm an idiot. I STILL have a ways to go, it seems...

Yeah it's like I'm someone else the past few years
I think my brain scan would show a lot of alcohol damage

:1orglaugh only bad news :1orglaugh

Two 16oz glasses of Everclear?

Just kidding with you.

Get yourself a decent lawyer and the consequences will be greatly diminished.

I don't think they tip either so he'll fit right in, or they'll fit right in or something :1orglaugh