What to do with the new stimulus money from the US government....
 

Sometime next year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.

This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:

Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?

A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q.. Where will the government get this money ?

A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?

A. Only a smidgen of it.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?

A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?

A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka .

* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.

* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China .

* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala ..

* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .

* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .

* If you pay your credit cards off or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in America by:

1) Spending it at yard sales, or

2) Going to ball games, or

3) Spending it on prostitutes, or

4) Beer or

5) Tattoos.

(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )

Conclusion:

Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day!

No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.






.:2 cents::pimp:thumbsup





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ah repubs and their forwards. they sure do love em.

You are referring to the BUSH stimulus of a few years ago ... the one where a lot of dickheads here were waiting anxiously to receive ... :warning

Ok, you got a laugh out of me.

I guess a Big Tit tattooed prostitute doesn't count as the Silicone is made in China too?

Ah dems and their total lack of any sense of humour. they sure do need one.







(P.S. Not a repub, I'm a libertarian, repubs are just as responsible for the crap going on as the Dems)



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lets just leave it as HUMANS are responsible.

thanks for the email grandma.

we get it.

infrastructure spending... baaaaaaahhhhd.

no oversight loans to banks and other wealthy individuals. baaa-i mean- gooooooood

of course, if this was all 'so bad' and everything, why is your best answer Romney?

I'm going to donate mine to the occupy movement.

Send me some and I will stimulate a few Americans....

I don't know who you are talking to, but I think it's ALL bad. If you don't think that "infrastructure spending" isn't just another form of handout to corporate friends in exchange for power, money and political favors to the establishment, then you need to hang out with big contractors more and ask them.

The more money and power that a government sucks away from the individual, the less freedom that everybody other than the political elite power brokers have.

Again, who are you talking to? Romney is just as much a part of the power elite as the rest of them. Screw Romney.



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Is there anybody here anymore who doesn't simply cut and paste the shit that gets dumped into their inboxes?

EVERYONE does it here, at least once in a while. Lighten the fuck up dude!




.:)

please tell me you didn't race home from school just to post this.....