how do you hit bottom if you never stop falling
 

i've needed to make changes for a very long time. Whenever i try to change, i do not persist in making the changes last. I read over & over that, in order to turn around, you have to reach a bottom, a bottom so bad it forces you to change.

What does one do when there is no bottom.

do another rail.

Get involved in a twelve step program?

LOL one of the things i can't persist in doing...

It's hard to say without knowing the specifics of the situation. I'm assuming you're at a point where you no longer want to drink or do drugs and no longer want to be sober, either. You'll continue to function, as a good many substance abusers do, on a marginally competent level, but eventually things will fall apart. You know what they say: jails, institutions and death. The first step would be to try to get into a detox somewhere assuming you're physically addicted to whatever it is you're taking. This is good though, at least you realize you have a problem, and that's the first step to recovery.

I lost a lot of friends, and some family, to this shit

http://i55.tinypic.com/2mrcwuh.jpg

so I kind of have an idea of what it's like.

You just need to commit to change for about 30 days and not sway from this 30 day period.

Habits are almost impossible to change

What you want to do is create a new habit to replace your old habit and if you can continously keep doing something up for a month it becomes a habit and hard to break.

this is not about drugs, although there is a drug i should stop using. its about making efforts in various facets of life.

Most things in life require work. relationships, careers, health. Even billionaires have to work to be happy.

I simply have no work ethic. What efforts i make result in half ass results in everything i do. whether its buying crappy christmas presents, finding a crappy job, a building a crappy web site, i cannot do anything well. I either do something half assed, or not at all.

& i seem powerless to fix this. the 12 step people blame drugs. But i've lived 3/4 of my life with no drugs & have the same problem, whether it was homework, sports, dating. My efforts are always shitty, & thus the outcomes.

i am at the point wondering if laziness is genetic & there is nothing i can do about it.

usually 30-40 days is all i can muster for changing something. The moment there is some success, i stop, or sabotage. almost like i try to fail.

I watch a lot of sports. In all sports, there are elite teams, average teams that try, & teams that are a total basketcase. Its my opinion that the basketcases actually work, through persistent bad decisions, towards failure. i seem to be in that department, where i deliberately take actions to ensure failure.

i cannot get the fuck out of my way. no matter how much good advice i get. i dont apply it. you offer me great advice. i cant make changes stick.

so i guess my thread is just a sulk-fest.

You sound like you're depressed, dude. Maybe some anti-depressants coupled with cognitive-behavioral therapy.

i appreciate your advice. however, been there, done that. circles back to persisting with changes. anytime i take meds, visit a shrink, i do not persist. done this several times.

please understand however that i am grateful for your taking the time to respond. Several people in my life offer to help. nobody knows what to actually do, because the problem comes from inside me.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electroconvulsive_therapy ?

i like bottoms...

kinky...

LOL i have your thread bookmarked in hopes that someday i will actually try to do that.

a big part of my problem is just trying to take shortcuts in life. Do things with minimal efforts. Instead of learning to be a webmaster, build traffic, i just created a site. once it launched, i had no budget or clue how to sell it. I just assumed getting on stern would make me successful. When that didnt pan out, i got lost.