Proofread my flyer for me?? :)
 

So I have this lady friend with degrees out her ass and she's been helping me with it... but I made some changes to it and I know she's going to want to proofread it (AGAIN).. And I'd like to not look stupid again when she does.

So I'd appreciate anyone who could do that for me :))

http://adceo.com/23.htm

• 2100 children are reported missing every day (over 800,000 each year)


doesn't add up

ff.doc won't open

You're right.. it is 766,000

I think that I may have changed "nearly" to "over" ... thanks!!!!

God damned microsoft.. for some reason it gave the first side a .docx extension.. I renamed it to .doc and it still opens fine, here, but I think msft loves to make different versions of this not work with that and for some reason .docx may be a completely different format

Who knows

Sorry about that

http://adceo.com/ff.docx try this?

Thanks

the rate of missing children is up 500 whats?

so does it prevent your child going missing OR does it try and find them when they go missing? can't claim both.

you haven't bolded enough of the text

Your child is 5000 times more likely to go missing than a child protected by Child Shield U.S.A., so visit our website for more information and give us a call, now!

"Well over one million children are protected by Child Shield USA and only two have gone missing. "

I wouldn't highlight failure.

THIS CAR NEVER CRASHES (well it did twice, but it was ok, honest)

Well, she keeps telling me, if there's too much text or too much bold, no one will read it... I didn't agree, but she has done a lot of proofreading and is well educated... so I bowed to her

I had more text and more was bolded

The 500 is supposed to say percent (not sure how that got changed)

Also my text included something about "What's more, if bla bla, this is what we'll do" sort of thing to explain the two parts of the program (I wanted to more clearly define that prevention comes first and that in case there was ever a need xx and x would happen)


thanks for your input



Keep it coming everyone :) Thank YOU

That makes sense but I think I am supposed to use that two of a million and compare it to the average 10k of a million ... To help make the comparison in their minds?

It's not about too much bold, it's about you haven't highlighted the whole of what is relevant to the actual subject. Take away the unbolded text and you get

more likely to go missing than what? you are trying to sell the service

and i don't like the font.

.docx is an xml version of a doc. Think it is office 2010 and above, not sure about that (I am still on office 2000, the last licensed copy that I bought). But it is a completely different format than .doc.



.

That is what I thought, too!!!

Anyone else see anything wrong??