Your know your wife is away when...
 

You confuse AM with PM.

I woke up today, clock said 6:43, I stretched, walked into the next room, picked up the phone to call my wife and son who are in Mexico for a few weeks. He's been sick so it was the first thing I thought of to call them. Her dad picked up the phone, and said everyone was sleeping. So I thought wow everyone's having an evening nap, must be tired.. Alright well tell her to call me back later.. He asks what time I've been waking up, and I replied I just woke up, but other days whatever time.. Then I thought waiiit a minute.. It's really early right? Ohhhh shit. 5:45am for them. :P

Smooth.

Your know your wife is away when... you're starting threads on GFY more oftenly.