Drinking around an alcoholic
 

Think it's okay or a douchy thing to do?

He's been sober for over 11 years and says it's cool.. but he's always looking at my drinks and keeps track of how much I've had. Kind of a buzz kill.

you got a designated driver
only you can tell if it bothers him

i personally wouldn'*t drink in front of him....however i rarely drink

You could nicely ask him. I know that with the people in my life with such problems, I find myself naturally just not doing it but then I am not a big drinker anyway. It is tricky for anybody here that wants to be social but not drink since we have such a pub culture.

I had a friend that slowly drifted out of our circle of mutual friends because of the same question. Couples meet for dinner, he comes over to watch sports, etc. Everyone just felt uncomfortable.

No wine with a nice meal at a good restaurant? No drinks watching a sporting event? Or do you just say fuck it and drink in front of him? I drank anyway, some didn't but we were all uncomfortable.


.

If he says its OK, then its OK...
He is only keeping track of your drinks because in his mind, he's thinking about he fucked up he used to be... Not because he wants one...

Spoken from experience.

I personally wouldn't..

He has been sober 11 years. Its not your fucking problem
Drink if you want to drink

:2 cents:

Best response.

Time to part ways with him...

I would not either. Just being nice.

sneak some whiskey in his coke as a prank.

resolve, untested is not resolve at all.

i agree :2 cents:

Offer him one and don't care about the issue. But if he's a jerk about it find new friends. lol

He sounds like he's managing it pretty well. I'd leave it up to him, but I certainly wouldnt offer him anything or something like that. Probably try to avoid it around him if possible, but not to extremes.

http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e3...s/buzzkill.jpg

ADG

Yep 100% agree

Yep that's the exact problem I'm having.. cool guy, fun to hang out with but there's been this uncomfortable cloud for quite awhile now.

Thanks for the insight man :)

The alcoholic will be very tempted to drink if he/she sees others drinking close by.

I haven't had a drop to drink in three years. I wasn't an alcoholic, but just decided to quit because it was a bit out of hand at times - basically a binge drinker. I have no problems when someone drinks in front of me.

Same thing with smoking. I still smoke from time to time, mostly at my in-laws house when we are down there for Christmas. I was down this weekend and they were smoking in front of me, didn't bother me at all.

Not necessarily.

If you just decline a drink and don't tell people you "don't drink," not only will they know nothing about your personal issue, they won't have any hangups of their own.

and I can't believe I quoted a bot. lol

He didn't get 11 years sober by not taking care of himself. If he was uncomfortable with you drinking around him, he would most likely not hang out with you.

I drink when the mood strikes, period. What others choose to do is irrelivant.

Sounds incensitive?

It probably is, but a. Their problem isn't mine, and b. I've been around several people who have/had a serious problem and have quit, all of whom simply stayed away from being in places where others are drinking, at least until such time as they can handle it and not sit there salivating over wanting one.

In other words every one I've been around wasn't bothered in the least by what others do. They worry about themselves and are either just fine with a club soda or whatever. It's not like smoking where you're breathing in second hand smoke from others around you when you're quitting. Others drinking doesn't affect the non-drinker at all physically, it's all mental.

Sorry, if it's bothering them that much they shouldn't be around people socially where drinks are likely to be served, at least until they get a handle on their urges. Me, I have the amazing ability to actually have only one or a few drinks in an evening and call it quits. More people should try it. :D

Here here :thumbsup

Man fuck him. I cant stand people who dont mind their own business. Why should you feel bad when he was the one with the problem? That would be the day when someone counts what i do. I would be offering him a drink.

well is he staring at you're tool?

been clean 21 years... I don't give one sleazy fuck who drinks, snorts, shoots or keisters this or that.... but when the tears and "I love you man" shit starts I gotta go...

lol so true. a drunk is a drunk. :1orglaugh

Can't say I blame you. Nothing worse than being stone cold sober in a room full of blubbering pisstanks.

if you're drinking beer in front of him do the Homer Simpson 'mmmmm.........beeeeeeer' on him and lick the foam off your upper lip orgasmically

if you're drinking hard liquor make your gulp very exaggerated then let out a deep breath and say 'ahhhhhhh ....... that's the good stuff'

I wouldn't......

Good point

I guess if it makes you feel weird then don't drink around that person. It can be awkward like having a juicy cheeseburger with a friend that is a hardcore vegan or something.

Hows the saying go?

Hang out @ the barber shop and you're gonna get a haircut.

Would you feel ok if he took a drink with you? Maybe not this year but years down the road. After some time the "do it yourselfers" fall off the wagon.

i dont have drinking problem

Right. Most can handle it after being sober a few years.

i dont have any friends like that so i dont know probably would still drink.

15 years here, and even better for me has been the number of people at different shows I have attended telling me how fucked up I was the night before. I don't even bother to tell them that they were the fucked up one :)

what he said

Do My Own Thing
 

Counting the amount of drinks you have may be his way of reinforcing the idea he should not drink. I say go on and ignore it, if he is a good friend. If you are uncomfortable, then don't include your friend in events where there may be social drinking.

He's projecting his issues on to you. I drink around my friend who's been sober 8 years, and I've known him for 10. He's never mentioned how many drinks I've had, and doesn't look at my drinks like that.

Wow that is quite the ass on Destiny Moody:thumbsup

Fuck him, he's a quitter!

Why should he care if you kill yourself :1orglaugh

there you go.

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:thumbsup

I am sure he can handle being around people that drink. In 11 years I am pretty sure he didn't get sober by living under a rock. I wouldn't suggest getting smashed and then trying to offer him a drink, but I am pretty sure he isn't "craving" to drink with you if you have one or two.

Bingo. I have friends that are recovering alcoholics and none would dream of imposing their illness/weakness upon others.

Kick him to the curb for being a quitter. Nobody likes a quitter.