Why Teh BoyAlley Didn't Get Involved In The NoCarrier "Samuel" Auction
 

Well I'm a little surprised by the fact that I've been criticized for not getting involved in the auction for NoCarrier's son, especially considering I've raised almost $20,000 in the last two months for industry causes by being the first to hold a sig auction for charity.

So, I guess I should explain WHY I chose not to get involved.

Let me first start off by saying I wish NoCarrier and his family the best of luck in the world, and hope with all my heart that his son is soon healthy and happy again.

As someone that makes large donations to over a half dozen causes a year, and who has worked for years to raise money for dozens of other organizations, I've seen things like this a lot.

While the heart of this community is good, I think people rushed into starting this auction and giving these large donations without thinking things through. When people see a child in need, they jump to help, leaving practicality behind. That's why those that organize fundraisers for things like this have to be so careful.

The truth is, being a concerned parent, NoCarrier came on here asking for donations before really even knowing what his needs were. Again, I'm not faulting him for doing that, it's a natural reaction.

In less than 24 hours, things have gone from "we need $150,000 at least to pay for treatment" to "he can get treated here in Canada for free, but this money will help with household bills". His son's diagnosis has gone from a "glioma type tumor", to not being sure what it is at this point. (this thread)

Again, I am in NO WAY faulting NoCarrier. But this is often how situations like this play out. It's also why most people of means make donations to non profit charities, instead of directly to individuals. Charity organizations know what families go through, and are a clear headed third-party to make sure that donor money goes to where it's needed, and to what the donors originally intended it to go for.

NoCarrier is a father whose son is in trouble, and he reached out to get him help like any father would.

Personally, I don't think NoCarrier needs financial donations at this point. It appears that all he'll be out of pocket financially is some lost income from his wife not working for a while to take care of their son. Certainly things like the $25,000 loan he got from the bank can take care of that, and I think it's an appropriate way to handle such short-term financial difficulties.

I think what NoCarrier DOES need is a third-party with a clear head that can think rationally for the family, and help them interface with those organizations that exist to help families like his at times like this.

I really hope that this thread doesn't make me look like a cold-hearted asshole. When it comes to charity, it's a matter of need. Where is money needed most, and for what purpose. NoCarrier's son will be getting free treatment, and through a loan, they have the means to deal with short-term financial difficulties arising from 1 parent not working for a period of time.

How many people on here have gone through that same situation, where 1 parent was out of work? The need for many many many people is so much greater than that, including people that work in our industry.

When we as an industry seek to raise large sums of money, I think we have to do so with a calm, clear head, and a good vision of what the funds we raise will be used for.

Again, I wish only the best for your son NoCarrier, and only the best for the rest of your family as well.

i totally agree on that one!
i dont know how any person could think clear headed at a time like that.. my girl gets a bump at the playground and im all panic.. i cant imagine how crazy they must be right now!
3rd party is a great idea and can probably point them in direction of groups set up to help in these situations.
i think they are fortunate to have a banker in the family to help, theres a lot of very ill kids whos parent[s] have nada.


i'd also like to mention they should look at eastern alternatives, theres some amazing treatments coming out of china and india that dont cost big $, that dont have the nasy effects of eastern treatments. a neighbour of mine had successul braintumor therapy in india when she was given ony 6 weeks to live.

anyhow,i hope he recovers well and fast.

I'm so sick of those threads.

My ex wife and mother of my child is fucking ILL to the point I had to rent out the home I own and move a couple hours north to help out with the kid.

It's been NOTHING but hardship and stress for me for MONTHS. Right before all this started I got owned for 21k on a business deal. I don't know and don't even wanna think about what my life would be like if I hadn't started to work for EPIC.

You don't see me BEGGING on GFY.




People need to take responsibilty for their own lives and stop running to a fucking porn webmasters board whenever shit hits the fan.



I have NOTHING against NoCarrier, I like him. I wish the best for his child.




I'm just saying...

hmm i expected a real bad thread, but you put well thought reasoning behind it boy alley, good points you make.

Thought I see your point, I think jimthefriend is way out of line, if my son or my fiance was sick and I couldnt afford it or was even worried about money I would beg to every fucking person, I would do anything to keep the ones i love alive, its called love, and sometimes you got to do things your not so proud of.

Fair enough.

You are totally right.

I guess you have a point

I completely agree.. I just didn't want to say anything lol.

First there was no cure he needed donations, then its treatable and not what they thought it was...I do wish the best for his child but I agree 100% with everything you said.

These are good points.

HOWEVER the money I put out isn't going to break my bank, but it may help save theirs. IF they do need the medical support that can costs hundreds of thousands.

The positive karma is worth it.

I don't give a fuck what you think, to be honest.

nice words ! :thumbsup

I agree :thumbsup

Save Darfur?


Oh wait, they're poor and black, nobody cares :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :thumbsup

I gotta take Boy Alley's side here.

First of all, I know it wouldn't be below GFY to start up a fake "I need money" thread cause it has happened before. I'm not saying that NoCarrier is scamming us, I'm saying that I'm weary of such stories from the get go.

Second of all, being Canadian, I was dumbfounded by the fact that the Canadian Govt "couldn't do anything". In my experience, they will do anything they can to help you, granted they might put you on a long ass waiting list, but they WILL help you no matter what. I don't blame NoCarrier in any way, god I hope his child pulls through. But I also know what great waves of emotion can do to our sense of reason and the devastating effect it can have when its over and you realize that you got people to give you so much money when, in fact, you didn't really need it.

Anyhow, all I wanted to say is that I agree with BoyAlley. I held back on giving money to see how the story might develop and in fact, it did develop the way I thought it would.

I wish Sammuel the best of luck and a long healthy life.

I have decided to piss all over my keyboard this morning.

i've heard much stranger things.....

it was really nice to read this thread...lots of different positions....

Agreed :thumbsup

I don't know if I agree or not....

But well wrote none the less BoyAlley. Clear explanation of your stance.

I find it disturbing to have the kid's face all over GFY now. In some threads it makes for a very weird juxtaposition.

It's a point of view...

It matters dick all what any of us think!

Are you the ones giving? If No? Then worry about something else.

People that donate money do it because it makes them feel good. If they want to donate directly to a family, then so be it, it's their free choice.

I agree with boy alley on most points,
You really seem like someone with experience.
Maybe you should contact NoCarrier directly.....
Money won't solve all problems but mate, it sure helps.

I like how you think. :thumbsup

EXACTLY.....

I agree with that. Seeing this kids face next to some chick sucking cock is weird.

You're a very rational and intelligent person, BoyAlley.

If we can support our own in a time like this, then who cares if he gets an extra bag of cash? If your kid gets a brain tumor, and you get free medical care, I will still send you some money to ease your pain if you think it will.

I would like for him think about getting his kid well, and not earning money for the next few months. But your reasons are fine for not giving, or raising money for him, and that is your right. I for one respect your choice, and hope others will respect mine.

Hard to pick a side here...

I doubt the guy would run off with the cash if his kid does get free treatment, I think the shock alone would encourage him (i hope) to send any extra generated money which he didn't need off to a charity to help out other parents facing similar situations.

It's nice to see that the adult industry can pull together for a good cause. However, I'm shocked that people have been critical of BoyAlley - that guy contributes loads to charity... If i made that much off my sig, i'd be blowing it all on booze ;)

very good points boyalley, but i also agree that small donations are what is best.

Perhaps BoyAlley, if you got involved your donation could go directly to one of the following organizations:

http://www.cbtf.org/
http://www.childrenscancercenter.org/
http://www.wish.org/

I have personally dealt with the Make-A-Wish Foundation and have found that the organization is one of the most well run and beneficial children's hope organizations out there.

thats just something to think about.

BoyAlley,

I understand your point and completely agree. We received news so fast that I didn't know where to start. I should've waited before sending a help signal. The money I've received to far will be used for the next couple of months. There will only be one revenue in this house and it's from me. Unfortunately, I am not a millionaire. But if you guys decide to send the "sig" money to a charity foundation instead, I will also understand. And about the "loan". If I decide to take it, I would have to reimburse it over the years.

I really didn't want to play with everyone's feelings. Mine are quite on the edge right now.

No offense man but that is a FUCKING CROCK OF SHIT.

You should return every cent of it.

Speaking for only myself...

I sent a small amount of money, and nothing that I have seen posted makes me wish I had not sent it.

My hopes are...in addition to the little boy having a full recovery...that they *are* able to treat him in Canada. I don't need them to have to travel to Texas, probably lose everything they have, etc....

for me to feel that sending money was justified. Matter of fact, I wish I could have sent more. Simply because I know that were it one of my sons...focusing on work would be the last thing I was able to do. So if my little bit goes to buying some groceries instead of going directly to a medical bill, then so be it.

It's not going to bother me at all.