All time best Simpsons Quotes thread
 

"If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it - Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers!"

- Homer

my alert keyword tracker 4.5 "lottery" just went off. how are you today sir?

I cant believe you dont shut up, Apu

1.
Homer -- "Thank's for nothin' light beer." While looking at stomach.

2.
Mr. Burns -- "Why are they booing me Smithers?"
Smithers -- "I don't think they are booing you sir, I think they are saying Boo-urns Boo-urns"
Mr. Burns -- "Are you saying Boo or Boo-urns"
Crowd -- "BOOO"
Old man -- "Well I was saying Boo-urns"

"Homer wins most weight gained since high school, Homer how did you did it?"

Homer: "I started a meal between breakfast and brunch."

"Well brain I dont like you and you dont like me.. so let's make a deal"

mmmm donuts.. is there anything they can't do?

"marge and the monorail" episode right after the monorail gets derailed by a gigantic donut sign

WHen the aliens come and run for president.

"But it's a two party system. You have to vote for one of us!"

"Its just a little airborne, its still good, its still good!"

Woman executive

"You can take that to the bank...the money bank."

whoohoooo i'm rich, rich I tell you :thumbsup

"I'm so hungry I could eat at Arby's" - One of the Twins

"It tastes like, burnnnnnning" - Ralphie

"I can't remember, looks like my supressitol is working fine!" - Millhouse


God, I love the Simpsons! :thumbsup

"My Dad's always yelling that Whitey's keeping him down" -Bart

I quits me fiddlin'
When I takes me Ritalin

Homer: "I have a refined palate."
Marge: "You don't even know what a palate is!"
Homer: "It's a time, in a boy's life..."

"Doh!" - How did you not post this one?!

Ralph is the best:

"Me fail English? That's unpossible!"

"That's where I saw the Leprechaun. He tells me to burn things!"

I like that one

"butter your bacon boy"
"but my heart hurts" - bart

Homer Quotes:

"Its pronounced nu-CU-lar"

"are you licking toads again?!" "No, SLUUUURP"

"Saxomofone!!"

*singing* "I am so SMART, I am so SMART, S-M-R-T....i mean S-M-A-R-T"

"Are you really the head of the quicky-mart?"
Yes
"Really?"
Yes
"You??"
Yes....thank you, come again

Bart & Lisa: "Dad! Dad! i dont mean to alarm you but there might be a boogie man or men in da house"

Homer: "AAAAARH BOOGIE MAN!"

:1orglaugh

too damn many to list....

bart replaces the answering machine tape with an oldies tape that sings:

"hello motha.. hello fatha... here i am at... camp cronada"

after checking for new messages

homer yells up "marge, is lisa at camp cronada?"

this cracked me up :1orglaugh

Hahaha one of my favorites

And

"bacon up that sausage!"

That one was a classic!!! :thumbsup

Squeaky voice kid when sideshow Bob has the nuke at the air show, and everyone is stampeding out...

"stamp your hands for re-entry."

kills me every time :1orglaugh

Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen

Grampa Simpson: [typing letter] 'Dear Mr. President. There are too many states. Please eliminate three. I am not a crackpot.'

Amen:glugglug

Disco stu - Homer Simpson

I can touch the music - Lisa Simpson ( after drinking LSD water at duffland)

Thats what I was trying to remember, I couldn't remember that part LOL

I love that!

Homer- "oh look they have the internet on computer now"

Homer:

"Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!"

"Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!"

"Yeah Moe that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!"

"Me lose brain? Uh, oh! Ha ha ha! Why I laugh?"

"Operator! Give me the number for 911!"

"Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races."

"Mmmm, free goo."

The best line ever is the one from when Homer is trying to gain weight in order to stay home and work -

"If it makes go clear - it's your hahahahahaha to weight gain"
-Dr. Nick Riviera

As he's robbing the Hoogie on the wall - the bird flies into it- LMAO

Motivation Speaker - "My watch has so many diamonds that the hands can't move. What kind of watch do you have?"

Homer - " I draw my watch in"

At the great chili cookoff:

Marge: "8 spices!? Hmmm...some of them must be doubles...Ore-gon-o?"

Homer: "Marge! We're missing the chili! Less artsy more fartsy!"


----

Homer tries Ned's "Five Alarm Chili"

Homer: "Five alarm chili eh?"

Ned: "Uh huh"

Homer: *takes a bite* "One.....two.....hey what's the big idea!"

Ned: "Aww I admit it, it's only 2 alarm. 2 1/2 tops. I just wanted to be a big man in front of the kids"

Kids: "Daddy are you going to jail?"

----

I am not a missionary i don't even believe in JEBUS.......SAAAAAVE ME JEBUS!!!!!!

Homer, reading a country name off a globe, "You-are-gay, hehehe"
"To start press any-key, where's the any-key?"

jDoG

In the office we do a homer qoute of the day, so needless to say, we have lots of quotes to offer up.

"You tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try"

"Trying is the first step towards failure"

"Larry Flint is right. You guys stink!"

"There's no emoticon for what I'm feeling!"-Comic Book Collector Guy


Just to quote a few,

Purple Haze

My eyes...The goggles do nothing!

JEBUS, I still say that!

Grampa: I'm Cold and scared.... I'm going inside