When your girl wont put out!!!!!!!!!!
 

I found this... lol kinda funny



One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that ***** knows I'm smarter than her.

That was fucking hilarious. Too bad I'd be castrated if I ever tried to do that. Ouch. :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

Haha funny story and oh so true...

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

wtf! :1orglaugh my girl is gonna kill me if i ever pull something like that on her :1orglaugh

too funny

Owned ;D

Romance

Mr. Romance

Love it, thanks for the laugh Mike

old, olllllllllllllllllllllllllllllld joke.

still funny though

Classic! Classic!

My girl would just say... "FUCK YOU I will buy this shit myself then!"

great joke...You can fuck a Fleshlight all day long and it's happy with you just buying it some lube every once in a while

Fleshlight=pussy insurance

As she should, however, then you have the issue of her just taking care of the sex on her own too.

moaueaheahehaeheahaeaeh that's brilliant ...

Here is what I'd do though.... I'd buy it ... she'd put out then and the next day drump her and return all the junk :P

I guess alot of men actually allow their wife to pull shit like that
They say their wife "punishes" them by with-holding sex

If a woman thinks she's doing me a favor by having my dick up her,
I don't want to jam it up her any way.

No woman will ever hold a sexual anything over me.. if I ever take a new wife, which I probably won't, she'll either take care of me or the housegirls will.. it's pretty simple.

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

OMG Classic......you are the man!!!!!

haha awesome...

i LOL'd :1orglaugh

OMG thats hilarious

a real life drama, each of us recognized a special scene as well known :-)

pwnd!!!!

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh classic

I liked it, true but no women will agree. :1orglaugh

Odd way of expressing oneself.

whahaah classic!!!

I think I would have ensured myself of a few months without sex if I pulled something like that on my girlfriend.

funny :)

Classic! :thumbsup :jester :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

lol thats awesome

Thats great mike

haha, my theory is that I'm so good I should be the one withholding sex :P

Bitches should pay my ass :1orglaugh

That was a hilarious story!

ROFL.

Mike you are friggin hilarious and two thumbs up on proving your point. Maybe she'll let down her guard and you'll get some. If not my girl here in Scottsdale still asks about you LOL

btw- i imagine your gf is between the ages of 19-22

thats pretty funny

so fucking owned

lol, that's not me that did that. It's just some post I found on another board and thought it was funny.

I dont have a GF.. I'm gay! duh and yes 19-22 is perfect

old but funny.