My public apology to Duke Dollars, Players Ball
 

So I go downstairs at the Venetian where I see Duke and Sherm looking for some type of transport to The Players Ball. I immediately explain to them that I didn?t think transportation was provided and that actually, you could walk to it from the Venetian.

Slow down angry mob, this gets better...

Sherm quickly contradicted me, but hey, he is only from Vegas and I am from Los Angeles, so listening to me made more sense. We begin our walk which becomes a bit distracted as Duke decides to give a local TV station his mug for a few minutes and discuss Ultimate Fighting.

I was told that day at the show that the club providing The Players Ball was located inside the Imperial Palace, which was only a short jaunt away. To add on effect for my excuse, I am going to insist that KB told me this.

Upon arrival, two things became fairly evident:

1) I was wrong. Get in line to be mad, I pretty much always go the wrong way. I will guide people to places that are completely wrong. Even my girl was there trying to tell those guys I was likely wrong, and she doesn?t know them, nor is she from there. But she has seen me in action before.

2) The smell of The Imperial Palace was the most hideous smell I have ever smelled.


People, I am not sure if you went over by The Imperial Palace, but this smell was like cold rotting death. If a horse would have shit on our faces, I am pretty positive the smell would have improved. Most of the people were covering their faces, I saw Duke turn somewhat pale and a bit less jovial as the smell began to eat him away. I thought people were going to begin dying on the spot, I thought about fleeing (at least I am honest, I did not care to explain this to the authorities and I didn't want some long drama thread). And of course, there was a cab line; worse more, there was a karoke bar in the cab line (no joke). I felt terrible, how would I explain Duke Dollars going down in the hands of some fatal sewage smell? I mean, right after they skinned the board!

Thankfully, life began to spill back into everyone, I guess the human body develops immunities to such filth. Duke turned to the line of guest and said,

?sorry everyone, it was the beans I ate at dinner.?

Duke Dollars, I apologize for this near death experience. I promise in the future, I will not be the guy that ?always has to know his way.?

New leaf is turned over. I will also never come within 100 meters of that casino or any of its employees.

Thanks,

you tell me - i had to stay there for a week :disgust :Oh crap :helpme

Was I crazy?

What was that smell?

When in trouble, blame KB.

We actually figured the smell came from something in Vegas. It was strong in the cab line, real strong.

thats funny, Im directionaly impaired as well

You need to rent a Sherpa guide.

we took a limo. i was surprised how easy it was to get a limo at that time. wierd. i suggested that we walk, so you weren't the only one. rule of thumb, never listen to me when i'm faded about directions either.

I honestly thought it was in that casino.

I hate that feeling when you figure out you were wrong. I go through it often.

Luckily a few elderly people died from the smell in the cab line, so we were able to roll out pretty quickly.

This is coming from the same guy that got lost within 200 yards of my house, and had to hire a limo to help him find "The Lightspeed Mansion"!

Classic comedy, but poor sense of direction Cory!

True story everyone.

I missed you.

Imperial Palace????

I said EMPIRE BALLROOM


I know I would never mention IP because it is a NAZI hotel built in th shape of a Swastika with Adolph Hitler's car collection.

I swear on my life- I never said the name of that hellacious place.

I am available for scapegoating all year however if anyone esle needs my services
:-))

poor people - who can't afford a better place :winkwink:

LMFAO

You should see where I found him the next morning.

:1orglaugh

Cory, you should come with a directional disclaimer. Maybe it just happens when you leave Cali...

:winkwink:

Surely enough though, Cory has a great sense of direction to find the Crazy Horse Too.
WG

Imperial Palace is godawful. The best part is the rooms that have that big strip of neon running right beside the window. Other than the smell, of course, and the patchy carpet.

Our cabby didn't know where to go, either. He ended up speaking to his dispatcher for the ENTIRE ride, then still couldn't find the address, so he dropped us at the back of the Monte Carlo because that was the closest address he could find, and we had to walk all the way back to the front of the hotel and across the street to the back of the Empire Ballroom.

Oh I will get you there.

I think Boneprone is still sleeping.

Actually, I think John is still at the booth inside the club sitting next to Eric in that pimp suit.

That was a long story. Thanks for nothing...

I was told it was inside the venetian. none of the people at guest services were very much help. And I didn't want to wait for the transportation so I ended up asking a group of 9 or so people -if I could ride with them - and that I would help split the costs if that was cool. What I didn't realize at the time is that I ended up getting into a limo with some CHEAP ASS BILLING PEOPLE. The bill came to 80$, I gave the guy organizing it $20. He then proceeded to shake down his other friends, wife, etc for $10 a head. Offered to give me back $10, told him that it was part of the tip for the guy. Collected $108 - and it looked like to me that he only passed on $100 to the driver and pocketed $8 for himself. Low character.


I got out of a car under PURE - cuz I was running late for the Hustler thing and didn't want to wait any longer. Anyway... that area underneath it smells the same way - a mix of fecal matter and vomit. SOOOO FUCK'N GROSS.

Omg he pocketed 8$... lol
Why do you care ? he's the one that looks like a dumbass

My best meetings happen at the CH2. I'll never forget in Florida when you had that stripper interrupt the lapdance to tell me this was sponsored by J4F. I was laughing the whole night, hahaha.
WG

I have a few better ones in the works. I actually don't write these anymore, I outsource them to my employee in India.

That's just sad, I'm surprised there's people like this still around. You figure we're paying upwards of $400/night for a room and $8 is a big deal to these people? Sad sad sad...

On another note, the limo I got into didn't recognize the name either but the address was printed right on the passes and after talking to him for a minute mentioning its right opposite Monte Carlo hotel he got it and took us all there in like 15 minutes.

WG

I had a number of other webmasters approach me about that haha

Great Memories!

I think my marketing mind wakes up around 2am.

I get embarrassed whenever someone I'm with is stingy with the tipping if there's been good service. Especially if I throw in enough money to cover a nice tip, and then someone else compensates by not throwing in enough. Actually, that more pisses me off than embarrasses me.

Its an awesome idea, look how well I remembered it :)
Oh and the hand on my lap while you're getting a dance idea. Although I think this was for your entertainment more than making your gf feel comfortable, lol.

WG

I blame KB.

That was an amusing read ... LOL ...

Vegas has some really nice places and some really shitty places. IP is one of shitty -- literally! ; )

LOL this comes as no shocker. The story of you and your GF walking all the way around Angel Stadium looking for your truck still puts a smile on my face.

=)

Cory, that story was a hilarious!!!

To think...IP was once THE place!

So did Rick Saloman, Paris Hilton, Andy Edmond, Luke Ford, AVN, and a ton of other people in the last two years-

Bottom line-

WHAT A GREAT FUCKING SHOW!!!

Some of the band of P Funk called me today to tell me it was one of their best shows they had played in two years.

I then asked them if George remembers anything from the night.
Their answer?

He remembers getting there. :1orglaugh

lol Cory next christmas i'm buying you THIS

Yeah, I think I know that place.

http://img12.imagecash.net/preview/684255110.jpg

One of the reasons it smelled was because me and a buddy of mine had to pee. Really bad. So we went on the wall by Walgreens.

LOL Oh Man that was the most rancid smell.
But we made it in one peice, albeit with a few singed nose hairs!
Thanks for the laughs bro. It was fun for sure!
Cheers
Duke

Seems that you and my wife share the same internal compass. She can get lost in the kitchen.

PS if you really wanted to smell something awful-
All you would have needed was a backstage/ Artist Pass
The smell wafting through the air backstage was horrific-

I now know why they are called P Funk-
The "P" stands for PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE U!
It smelled like an Ogilvie Home Perm, or burned hair and dookie.

Freebase and body funk doesn't make the best smell
But it did make them sound real good.

If you took crack away from that band- I think they'd sound like Jerry Garcia 6 ft under- ( no offense Far-L) LOL

LMAO! Well written account (in the spirit of HST)...

ADG Webmaster

Very funky story...

:thumbsup

our limo guy didn't really know either. at least i knew it was the old club utopia.

next time tell them its the buliding that owners burned down for the money. well shit, i guess you gotta mention that its club utopis old building because what was The Drink and now Club ICE was also burned down for the money by the old owners. lol.