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-   -   Some tips for the people coming to the Amsterdam show. (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=505185)

Dirty F 08-18-2005 06:32 AM

Some tips for the people coming to the Amsterdam show.
 
Ofcourse this is the typical male stoner tourist guide :)

1: If youre not used to weed or only shitty weed take it easy on your first day. The Dutch weed is about the strongest you will ever smoke and you WILL get fucked up.

2: You can smoke a joint in the streets, np. Most clubs allow you to smoke inside as well. Smaller bars usually not. You better ask first if in doubt. Or go sit in a coffeeshop ofcourse, where they sell weed. Avoid the loud trourist coffeeshops like the bulldog. Full of drunk English tourists and insane prices.

3: Dont buy drugs on the street. You will get ripped off. In the red light area every 2 mins some guy on the street will say something to you. Simply ignore them.

4: If you plan to eat something with weed in it take it easy. It can take up to 1 hour before it starts kicking in. And you wont be first to eat half the cake because you dont feel anything after 5 mins.

5: Americans are good tippers. You dont have to tip 10 - 15% here in Holland. If you buy drinks and the bill is 9.20 its normal to tip just 80 cts. If the bill is 7.50 tell the waiter to "make it 9". A 2 person meal costing 45 euros, you can tip 2 to 5 euros. Up to you. This advice will save you plenty of money - buy me drinks when you see me. Or drugs.

6: Hookers in the red light area. I dont know the exact prices. Id say anything between 25 to 100 euros for a quicky. General rule: The uglier they are the less you pay and vice versa. The hot blondes with big tits are known to be total bitches who try to get you out of their booth as soon as possible. After paying way too much. Id say avoid them.

7: The fuck shows are tourist traps. You pay 50 bucks or so to see a couple on stage fuck like 2 robots. Thats it. Save your money.

8: Watch out for bikers. They are everywhere. I really mean everywhere.

I will add more later...taking a shower now.

chupachups 08-18-2005 06:35 AM

[QUOTE=8: Watch out for bikers. They are everywhere. I really mean everywhere.
.[/QUOTE]

Are they that bad?

Dirty F 08-18-2005 06:35 AM

9: Restaurants: Anything with big yellow signs and waiters standing outsides trying to get you inside - avoid! Try to find a restaurant with no english signs. Meaning theyre not a tourist restaurant. Tourist restaurants are crap crap crap!

polish_aristocrat 08-18-2005 06:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Franck
6: Hookers in the red light area. I dont know the exact prices.

:error :1orglaugh

Dirty F 08-18-2005 06:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chupachups
Are they that bad?


The Dutch AND tourists ride bikes everywhere through the city. If youre not used to it it is bad yeah :) You might crash into 1 or 2.

Oh and im talking about bicycles not motorbikes. Excuse my english.

Dirty F 08-18-2005 06:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by polish_aristocrat
:error :1orglaugh


:angrysoap

pradaboy 08-18-2005 07:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by polish_aristocrat
:error :1orglaugh

good one :1orglaugh

Dalai lama 08-18-2005 07:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by polish_aristocrat
:error :1orglaugh

Good catch. But watched a program on the telly about a week ago. The whore said she costed between 25 and 75 euros. And she was looking good :thumbsup

NickB. 08-18-2005 07:12 AM

Keep you luggage and laptop close, your wallet in the inside pocket of your jacket and close your jacket!

Try and avoid walking around on the streets with your luggage, just have a taxi driver drive you to the hotel, skip the train and busses or trams.

Dont ask around where to go on the streets, they'll mark you as a victim, just walk into a bar or store and ask there

Ive truly seen to many people making these mistakes

Dont get me wrong the Dutch are friendly people, but amsterdam is full off tourists and criminals from europe come to amsterdam for these tourists, most of the criminals in amsterdam are not dutch.....

NickB. 08-18-2005 07:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dalai lama
Good catch. But watched a program on the telly about a week ago. The whore said she costed between 25 and 75 euros. And she was looking good :thumbsup

If you speak english.... its 75 euros, have a dutch guy negotiate for you on the RLD :) Ive done this numerous times.

Hell even try the difference, have the dutch guy do it and than you... you'll notice the euro difference :)

GUNNER 08-18-2005 07:17 AM

10. There is a serious homosexual predator and known male tourist molester they call "Battus" who lives in a van down by the river. Stay away from him at all times, even if he claims to be an adult webmaster and has knowledge of the industry. He just wants to get in your pants.

Oracle Porn 08-18-2005 07:19 AM

great tips...ill buy you something when im there ;)

Oracle Porn 08-18-2005 07:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nickbaauw
Keep you luggage and laptop close, your wallet in the inside pocket of your jacket and close your jacket!

Try and avoid walking around on the streets with your luggage, just have a taxi driver drive you to the hotel, skip the train and busses or trams.

Dont ask around where to go on the streets, they'll mark you as a victim, just walk into a bar or store and ask there

Ive truly seen to many people making these mistakes

Dont get me wrong the Dutch are friendly people, but amsterdam is full off tourists and criminals from europe come to amsterdam for these tourists, most of the criminals in amsterdam are not dutch.....

damn i'm scared :helpme

Juilan 08-18-2005 07:54 AM

1: If youre not used to weed or only shitty weed take it easy on your first day. The Dutch weed is about the strongest you will ever smoke and you WILL get fucked up.

So true :1orglaugh maybe start out with Northern Lights or something light like that. Also bring wardrobe money you US Metro's will love the deals on clothes there

NickB. 08-18-2005 07:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oracle Porn
damn i'm scared :helpme

Ive seen this shit numerous times, follow the advice and you'll have no problems :thumbsup

garbage_trash 08-18-2005 08:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Franck
Ofcourse this is the typical male stoner tourist guide :)
3: Dont buy drugs on the street. You will get ripped off. In the red light area every 2 mins some guy on the street will say something to you. Simply ignore them.

Great advice. Many moons ago I stupidly tried to buy some acid from a street dealer, before I knew it his friends surrounded me, they took my wallet out of my pockets, took all the money, gave me the wallet back and walked off. I've also heard many stories of people falling into the same trap but coming off much worse than I did. Don't buy anything from these guys. :Oh crap

cjaccardi 08-18-2005 08:03 AM

do not buy drugs of the street !!!!! thats improtant they are fakes

Evil Chris 08-18-2005 08:04 AM

- if you're not much of a smoker, drink Grolsch, and lot's of it.

- eat Indonesian food while you're there. It's awesome. I'd recommend Kantijl and the Tiger for lunch, and for a very nice dinner, go to Indra Pura on Rembrandtsplein. Order the Rijsttafel.

Evil Chris 08-18-2005 08:06 AM

another point... Get out of the city for a few hours.

The rest of Holland is NOTHING like Amsterdam. It's beautiful, clean, and green with plenty of things to see and do. Make a day trip to Schreveningen or even Den Helder.

Fred Quimby 08-18-2005 08:09 AM

Dam,, I wish my wife would let me go

DaddyHalbucks 08-18-2005 08:10 AM

Looks like some good advice.

Dirty F 08-18-2005 08:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GUNNER
10. There is a serious homosexual predator and known male tourist molester they call "Battus" who lives in a van down by the river. Stay away from him at all times, even if he claims to be an adult webmaster and has knowledge of the industry. He just wants to get in your pants.


Ya stay away from that guy!!

Dirty F 08-18-2005 08:31 AM

Oh man, the garbagemen are on strike. For days already. Amsterdam looks like a 3rd world country atm...and smells like one. You normally dont think about this but honestly, if these guys dont go back to work soon it will look like India here.

MaDalton 08-18-2005 08:38 AM

do i really need to wear wooden shoes and a cheese hat to get accepted by the locals??? and why should i avoid to discuss the rijkard/voeller incident with dutch people in orange shirts??? :1orglaugh :helpme

JFK 08-18-2005 08:39 AM

Thanks for the tips :thumbsup

Dirty F 08-18-2005 08:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaDalton
do i really need to wear wooden shoes and a cheese hat to get accepted by the locals??? and why should i avoid to discuss the rijkard/voeller incident with dutch people in orange shirts??? :1orglaugh :helpme


Wooden shoes are mandatory.

Dirty F 08-18-2005 08:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JFK
Thanks for the tips :thumbsup


Hey, youve been here before.

Juicy D. Links 08-18-2005 08:44 AM

tell me abut the hookers yo. More info.

Dirty F 08-18-2005 08:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Juicy D. Links
tell me abut the hookers yo. More info.


What do you need to know?

They stand behind windows. You walk by. You look and if you like her you knock on the window and dicuss a price with her. You can find anything. From big black mama's to super hot 20 yr olds with awesome bodies. I know you prefer the first option though. The whole area is flooded with tourists and English drunk youth. There are these really narrow alleys you walk through in a line of people all window shopping.

Juicy D. Links 08-18-2005 08:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Franck
What do you need to know?

They stand behind windows. You walk by. You look and if you like her you knock on the window and dicuss a price with her. You can find anything. From big black mama's to super hot 20 yr olds with awesome bodies. I know you prefer the first option though. The whole area is flooded with tourists and English drunk youth. There are these really narrow alleys you walk through in a line of people all window shopping.

How much does a BJ go for usually?

Juicy D. Links 08-18-2005 08:53 AM

1 Usd = 0.821091 Eur

Dirty F 08-18-2005 09:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Juicy D. Links
How much does a BJ go for usually?


25/35 euros i guess.

Dirty F 08-18-2005 09:04 AM

http://www.freesexadultgalleries.com/priceless.jpg

garbage_trash 08-18-2005 09:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Franck
4: If you plan to eat something with weed in it take it easy. It can take up to 1 hour before it starts kicking in. And you wont be first to eat half the cake because you dont feel anything after 5 mins.

This sounds very familiar too :upsidedow the cake is very potent and imo has a very different high to smoking.

fatal attraction 08-18-2005 09:46 AM

I have to add.......BLUE LIGHT BAD!!!!!!!! :1orglaugh

Dirty F 08-18-2005 11:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fatal attraction
I have to add.......BLUE LIGHT BAD!!!!!!!! :1orglaugh


I dont get it :/

BRISK 08-18-2005 11:28 AM

Drink the canal water, it's good for you.

Gungadin 08-18-2005 11:28 AM

If you want a nice couple of hours, hop on the train and go a couple of stops to Harlem... I've been to amsterdam a few times and the last time I stayed in Harlem instead of in the city... really cool.

If it's warm enough, you can take the train like 15 minutes further and it puts you right at the beach, where nudity is nothing new to these people.

Wish I was going...

fatal attraction 08-18-2005 11:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Franck
I dont get it :/

What??? The windows with the blue lights are Tranny's!!!!!! :1orglaugh

Phoenix 08-18-2005 11:32 AM

hmm some good restaurant tips here


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