Reasons Europe Sucks Ass
 

1.France
2.Socialists
3.Mr. Bean
4.The metric system
5.Really stinky cheese
6.Insane rates of taxation on gas
7.Ethnic Cleansing
8.Adolph Hitler
9.Slobodan Milosevic
10.Soccer
11.EuroDisney
12.The UK's Rail Roads
(Are the UK rail lines really that crappy?)
(ALL rail lines are crappy.)
(People die on them all the time. There's no way your getting me on one of those death-worms - PC.)
13All the ass-sucking going on.
14.Designer Butt-Plugs from Milan. (I'm not making that up)
15.Unmowed female body hair
16.Lack of Good junk food.
17.Everyone over the age of 11 smokes.
18.Preponderance of Evil junk food.
19.The women in Sweden don't really wear bikinis in the winter.

:1orglaugh

Let us get all overprotective and push this thread into 4 pages... yes... let us do that...



Damn shame we don't have popcorn in Europe. Or at least, good popcorn.

Anyone want a piece of really stinky cheese? :glugglug

Dammit! With that at number one, you don't need any others :thumbsup

Betcha can't find it on a map though...:winkwink:

who cares? that's what our "smart" bombs are for :winkwink: :thumbsup :ak47:

Are we really to believe that ethnic cleansing, female body hair, Euro Disney, ass sucking, Adolf Hitler, Milosevic and taxation are all BAD? :1orglaugh

Who would've thunk it?!

Aaahahahhahaha!

A great time was had by all. :glugglug

How is Amtrak better than the UKs rail system?

ohh no, i can not find it on the map, only french people are smart. LOL

I have been there few times. I like France
but hate racist french people.In my opinion, France would be perfect if there weren't any french people there. They were unbelievably MEAN AND NASTY

I love this
http://www.bobfromaccounting.com/5_13/francesucks.html

malaka

Just found this with Google.

http://www.houseofhate.com/houseofha...0_00_2001.html

:1orglaugh

Well, then the entire world - except the US, Liberia and Burma - sucks ass...

Shall I remind everyone that there wouldn't be any U.S. of fucking A. if our incredibly smart European ancestors didn't sale overseas and exploit the poor Indians ?

:glugglug


Europe rocks :)

yeah, we're all retarded, but what can ya do... :glugglug

GB :2 cents:

"009. if the French invented a cool tank or rocket or whatever, they would name it something so stupid, like Le Boom, that everyone would laugh at it and you couldn?t say it was cool without sounding like a homosexual. "

well that's true...........

Three guys, an Englishman, a Frenchman and an American are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a genie pops out of it. "I will give you each one wish, " says the genie. The American says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in America." With a blink of the genie's eye, 'FOOM' - the land in America was forever made fertile for farming. The Frenchman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around France, so that no one can come into our precious country." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' - there was a huge wall around France. The Englishman asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall. The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and nothing can get in or out." The Englishman says, "Fill it up with water."

That's some people's idea of a good time and something tells me that somebody on this board has a site that caters to that niche.

We use metric and imperial, cos when we joined the EU we noticed that everyone was multilingual, and we figured it was easier to learn metric than another language :thumbsup

I agree with you. And you know why they were smart? Because they left Europe.LOL

They officially changed to the metric system a couple of years ago...

classic post of an average american with a very low IQ...

Ok, I am a little retarded. No worries :winkwink:

We're all European inside ... some more ... some less. Face it.

Your ancestors left Europe because your your ancestors were religious fruitcakes - even moreso than us English, and we invented cricket!

Some more stuff found with google:

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH
1. When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay.
2. Experience the joy of winning the world cup for the first time.
3. You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs.
4. If there's a war you can surrender really early.
5. You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on TV.
6. You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries.
7. You can be ugly and still become a famous film star.
8. Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride.
9. You don't have to bother with toilets, just shit in the street.
10. People think you're a great lover even when you're not.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN
1. You can have a woman president without electing her.
2. You can spell colour wrong and get away with it.
3. You can call Budweiser beer.
4. You can be a crook and still be president.
5. If you've got enough money you can get elected to do anything.
6. If you can breathe you can get a gun.
7. You get to be really obese.
8. You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and nobody seems to care.
9. You get to call everyone you've never met "buddy"
10. You can think you're the greatest nation on earth.
10a. When you're not.
10b. At all.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH
1. Two World Wars and One World Cup doo-dah doo-dah.
2. Proper beer.
3. You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket.
4. You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events
5. Union jack underpants.
6. Water shortages guaranteed every single summer.
7. You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power.
8. Bathing once a week-whether you need to or not.
9. Ditto changing underwear
10. Beats being Welsh.
10a. Or Scottish

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN
1. In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes.
2. Unembarrassed to wear fur.
3. No need to worry about tax returns.
4. Glorious military history prior to 400 a.d.
5. Can wear sunglasses inside.
6. Political stability.
7. Flexible working hours.
8. Live near the Pope.
9. Can spend hours braiding girlfriend's armpit hair.
10. Country run by Sicilian murderers

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SPANISH
1. Glorious history of killing South American tribes.
2. The rest of Europe thinks Africa begins at the Pyrenees.
3. You get your beaches invaded by Germans, Danes, Brits etc.
4. The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans.
5. Everybody else makes crap paella and claims it's the real thing.
6. Honesty
7. Only sure way of bedding a woman is to dress up in stupid, tight clothes and risk your life in front of bulls
8. You get to eat bulls' testicles.
9. Gibraltar.
10. Supported Argentina in Falklands War.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GERMAN
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING INDIAN
1. Chicken Madras
2. Lamb Passanda
3. Onion Bhaji
4. Bombay Potato
5. Chicken Tikka Masala
6. Rogan Josh
7. Popadoms
8. Chicken Dopiaza
9. Meat Boona
10. Kingfisher lager

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING WELSH
1. You've got to be having a laugh, haven't you?

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING IRISH
1. Guinness.
2. 18 children because you can't use contraceptives.
3. You can get into a fight just by marching down someone's road.
4. Pubs never close.
5. Can use Papal edicts on contraception passed in the second Vatican Council of 1968 to persuade your girlfriend that you can't have sex with a condom on.
6. No one can ever remember the night before.
7. Kill people you don't agree with.
8. Stew.
9. More Guinness.
10. Eating stew and drinking Guinness in an Irish pub at 3 in the morning after a bout of sectarian violence.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING CANADIAN
1. It beats being an American.
2. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
3. You can play hockey 12 months a year, outdoors.
4. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
5. Where else can you travel 1000 miles over fresh water in a canoe?
6. A political leader can admit to smoking pot and his/her popularity ratings will rise.
7. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.
8. Kill Grizzly bears with huge shotguns and cover your house in their skins.
9. Own-an-Eskimo scheme.
10. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AUSTRALIAN
1. Know your great-grand-dad was a murdering bastard that no civilized nation on earth wanted.
2. Victoria Bitter
3. Dispossess Aborigines who have lived in your country for 40,000 years because you think it belongs to you.
4. Cricket captain not afraid to cry live on TV.
5. Tact and sensitivity.
6. Bondi Beach.
7. Other beaches.
8. Liberated attitude to homosexuals.
9. Drinking cold lager on the beach
10. Having a bit of a swim and then drink some cold lager on the beach.

Why America sucks Ass:

1-20 George W. Bush

Truer words have never been spoken.

Over 16 years those German suckers asked me to become German citizen. Hell no, fuck off... :321GFY

That's funny LOL

There was a Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Provence. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train, there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark.

Then there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap.

When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Englishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Frenchman had his hand against his face where he'd been slapped.

The Frenchman was thinking: 'The English fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.'

Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The French fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Englishman and got slapped for it.'

And the Englishman was thinking: 'This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and slap that French bastard again.´

This is really old but still funny...



On a sunny deserted island in the middle of nowhere, the following folks were to be found:-

2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman

2 French men and 1 French woman

2 German men and 1 German woman

2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman

2 English men and 1 English woman

2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman

2 American men and 1 American woman

2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman

2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman
=============================================
One month later, the following things had occurred:
=============================================

-One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

-The 2 French men and the French woman are living happily together in
a menage-a-trois.

-The 2 German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits
with the German woman.

-The 2 Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is
cleaning and cooking for them.

-The 2 English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the
English woman.

-The 2 Bulgarian men took a long look at the endless ocean and one
look at the Bulgarian woman and they started swimming.

-The 2 American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide, because the
American woman keeps on bitching about her body, the true nature of
feminism, how she can do everything that they can do, the necessity of
fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how sand and palm trees
make her look fat, how her LAST boyfriend respected her opinion and treated
her much nicer than THEY do, and how her relationship with her mother is
improving. But at least the taxes are low and it is not raining.

-The 2 Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are waiting for instructions.

-The Irish began by dividing the island into North and South and by setting
up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it
gets sort of foggy after the first few litters of coconut whiskey,but they
are satisfied because at least the English aren't getting laid.

wheres europe?

Near France.

Q:How do you castrate a frenchmen?

A:Kick his sister in the jaw.

:321GFY :1orglaugh




Thread is hilarious! :1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

A Canadian couple was strolling through a park in London and sat down on a bench next to an elderly Briton. The Brit noticed their lapel pins sporting the Canadian flag and, to make conversation, said "Judging by your pins, you must be Canadians".

"Indeed we are", replied the Canadian gentleman.

"I hope you won't mind my asking," said the Brit, "but what do the two red bars on your flag represent?"

"Well," replied the Canadian gentlman, "one of the bars stands for the courage and hardiness of our people in settling the cold expanses and broad prairies of our country. The other is for the honesty and integrity for which Canadians are known."

The Brit mulled this over and nodded. Having poor eyesight at his advanced age, and not being familiar with maple leaves, he then asked, "And what's that six-pointed item in the middle of your flag?"

"Oh, that's to remind us of the six words of our national motto," the Canadian lady piped up.

The Brit asked, "And what are those six words?"

The Canadian smiled and replied, "They are 'Don't blame us - we're not Americans.' "



Haha..:1orglaugh

THE ITALIAN WHO WENT TO ENGLAND

One day ima gonna England to bigga hotel. Ina Morning I go down to eat
breakfast. I tella waitress I wanna two pissis toast. She brings me only
one piss. I tella her I want two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say
you no understand. I wanna to piss onna my plate. She say you better not
piss onna plate, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she
call me sonna ma bitch. Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The
waitress brings me a spoon and knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna
fock. She tell me everyone wanna fock. I tell her you no understand. I
wanna fock on the table. She say you better not fock on the table, you
sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she call me sonna ma
bitch. So I go back to my room inna hotel and there is no shits onna my
bed. Call the manager and tella him I wanna shit. He tell me to go to
toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna shit on my bed. He say you
better not shit onna bed, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the man
and he call me sonna ma bitch. I go to the checkout and the man at the
desk say: "Peace on you". I say piss on you too, you sonna ma bitch, I
gonna back to Italy.

You guys are very obsessed with this guy. Do you dream of Bush?

no, they dream about the hole behind the Bush...

Germany would be the only place i'd really want to see in europe.. maybe the woman would drag me to paris too.