Rt. Hon Andy Burnham MP MINISTER FOR HEALTH is awoken at 4am by the telephone.
‘Sorry to bother you at this hour but there is an emergency!!
I’ve just received word that the Durex factory in Liverpool has burned to the ground.
It is estimated that the entire English supply of condoms will be gone by the end of the week.’
Rt. Hon Andy Burnham MP: ‘Sh*t !!
The economy will never be able to cope with all those unwanted babies…. We’ll be ruined.’
‘We’re going to have to ship some in from France?’
‘Bad idea! The frogs will have a field day on this one.’
Junior Minister: ‘What about Scotland?’
Rt. Hon Andy Burnham MP: ‘I’ll call Alex Salmond.’
Tell him we need five million condoms, ten inches long and three inches thick.
That way they’ll continue to respect the English
Three days later a delighted Andy Burnham MP runs out to open the boxes that arrived at the Post Office.
He finds five million condoms:
10 inches long, 3 inches thick, all coloured blue and white with small writing on each one.
MADE IN SCOTLAND – SIZE: MEDIUM
‘Sorry to bother you at this hour but there is an emergency!!
I’ve just received word that the Durex factory in Liverpool has burned to the ground.
It is estimated that the entire English supply of condoms will be gone by the end of the week.’
Rt. Hon Andy Burnham MP: ‘Sh*t !!
The economy will never be able to cope with all those unwanted babies…. We’ll be ruined.’
‘We’re going to have to ship some in from France?’
‘Bad idea! The frogs will have a field day on this one.’
Junior Minister: ‘What about Scotland?’
Rt. Hon Andy Burnham MP: ‘I’ll call Alex Salmond.’
Tell him we need five million condoms, ten inches long and three inches thick.
That way they’ll continue to respect the English
Three days later a delighted Andy Burnham MP runs out to open the boxes that arrived at the Post Office.
He finds five million condoms:
10 inches long, 3 inches thick, all coloured blue and white with small writing on each one.
MADE IN SCOTLAND – SIZE: MEDIUM
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