Saturday Nite Debate: Goatee or Mutton Chops? (pics) - GoFuckYourself.com

The Porn Nerd · 09-25-2010, 07:55 PM

Personally, I'll take the "mutton chop" look over the "goatee" look any day of the week. Why? Cause any dweeboid can grow a goatee (and usually does, ick) while it takes a fucking MAN with fucking BALLS to walk around with mutton on his, um, chops. Like Mr. Neil Young, circa 1974:

Now, don't get blinded by the overt apparent "hipness" of the Goatee, it's an illusion. It may work on evil Spock:

But it's NOT cool on 99% of dudes, unless it's grown very, very long, like so:

Then it's just, you know, fucking weird, kinda like a Mohawk.
So let us celebrate the Mutton Chop! Shit, it looks even better when you multiply them, like Tribbles!

charlie g · 09-25-2010, 08:07 PM

You must have a super interesting life with debate like this on a Saturday night

But I am with you, give me some mutton chops anyday of the week!

jackknoff · 09-25-2010, 08:12 PM

Not spells evil more than a goatee... Mutton chops just make ya look like one of those damn dirty hippies. Just my 2 cents...

Spanx!
Jack

NaughtyVisions · 09-25-2010, 08:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jackknoff

Nothing spells evil more than a goatee... Mutton chops just make ya look like one of those damn dirty hippies. Just my 2 cents...

Spanx!
Jack

Case in point:

Anton Szandor LaVey, Founder and former High Priest of the Church of Satan

Chosen · 09-25-2010, 08:56 PM

None of the above...

garce · 09-25-2010, 09:07 PM

Neil Young wins over all. Doesn't matter about what his facial hair is. Neil wins.

The Porn Nerd · 09-25-2010, 09:08 PM

Another reason not to like goatees: they seem to bring out the religious nuts.

garce · 09-25-2010, 09:15 PM

As much as I'm a Neil Young fan - and I love the man to death - He missed the boat wih this great song:

Rock and Roll can never die? Its dead, Neil. Sorry.

P.S. Neil Young has more talent and rock and roll attitude than anyone in the last 30 years. I'll give Slash a "bye" on this, but beyond Slash, there has not been a single guitar player who's been able to keep the faith.

Even Slash has failed. Steve Vai? Carlos Santana? A joke. Rock guitar is dead.

The Porn Nerd · 09-25-2010, 10:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by garce

As much as I'm a Neil Young fan - and I love the man to death - He missed the boat wih this great song:

Rock and Roll can never die? Its dead, Neil. Sorry.

P.S. Neil Young has more talent and rock and roll attitude than anyone in the last 30 years. I'll give Slash a "bye" on this, but beyond Slash, there has not been a single guitar player who's been able to keep the faith.

Even Slash has failed. Steve Vai? Carlos Santana? A joke. Rock guitar is dead.

Qyoted for truth. I saw the Wembley show with CSNY in 1974 (on video, wasn't there sadly) and they did an electrified version of Stephen Stills 'Black Queen', all bluesy stomp and Stills WAILING on the guitar like fuckin' Hendryx taught him to. Killer amazing shit. Anything like that mind-blowing today? No. It's a fucking joke today, all distortion so no one can hear how bad the players really are.

ottopottomouse · 09-26-2010, 05:22 AM

Neither.

campimp · 09-26-2010, 07:39 AM

BlackCrayon · 09-26-2010, 08:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by garce

Neil Young wins over all. Doesn't matter about what his facial hair is. Neil wins.

he sure does

The Porn Nerd · 09-26-2010, 10:14 AM

Wow - I must've been drunk when I started this thread last night. Haha! But yeah, Neil Young RULES. Ouch - hangover.

CDSmith · 09-26-2010, 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by garce

I'll give Slash a "bye" on this, but beyond Slash, there has not been a single guitar player who's been able to keep the faith.

Even Slash has failed. Steve Vai? Carlos Santana? A joke. Rock guitar is dead.

Just heard a new song by Clapton, sounded pretty good.

Neil Young IS the man. And he's a former Winnipeg boy, double win.

charlie g · 09-26-2010, 10:27 AM

Fucking neil young is probably in the top 5 of rock guitarists. I love cortez the killer. Some bad ass work there!

iSpyCams · 09-26-2010, 10:55 AM

Why choose? I rocked both back in the day till I got tired of trying to keep them trimmed and even and just did a full beard.

The Porn Nerd · 09-26-2010, 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pompousjohn

Why choose? I rocked both back in the day till I got tired of trying to keep them trimmed and even and just did a full beard.

No no, PompousJohn, one MUST choose! Otherwise all we'd have is the "lazy man's option": full beard. Fuck, just sit there and don't do a thing and magic presto beard-o. Now trimming and clipping? That takes attention to detail. LOL

AlCapone · 09-26-2010, 11:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NaughtyVisions

Case in point:

Anton Szandor LaVey, Founder and former High Priest of the Church of Satan

It's the "Temple of Set".

iSpyCams · 09-26-2010, 01:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MisterPeabody

No no, PompousJohn, one MUST choose! Otherwise all we'd have is the "lazy man's option": full beard. Fuck, just sit there and don't do a thing and magic presto beard-o. Now trimming and clipping? That takes attention to detail. LOL

Having a full beard is a strange experience. Chicks don't check me out twice like they did when I was clean shaven or even goatie'd.

But I haven't cut my hair in over 5 years and I literally get MORE ASS from chicks who say I look like Jesus. (not the one from the big lebowski)

Also, people take me more seriously more often, I get more respect, implicit obedience from total strangers (randomly but frequently) and less debates. (in person anyway, the beard doesn't seem to effect my online interactions - strangely enough lol.)

ottopottomouse · 09-26-2010, 01:59 PM

Doesn't a full beard and long hair just make you look a bit scruffy?

The Porn Nerd · 09-26-2010, 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pompousjohn

Having a full beard is a strange experience. Chicks don't check me out twice like they did when I was clean shaven or even goatie'd.

But I haven't cut my hair in over 5 years and I literally get MORE ASS from chicks who say I look like Jesus. (not the one from the big lebowski)

Also, people take me more seriously more often, I get more respect, implicit obedience from total strangers (randomly but frequently) and less debates. (in person anyway, the beard doesn't seem to effect my online interactions - strangely enough lol.)

Well, I dig beards, too, but this is about goatees vs. mutton chops, kind of a "beard micro-niche", if you will.

Beards can get you laid like tattoos can get you laid: they're both conversation-starters for the opposite sex as well as "filters". Those who dig that look will be more apt to follow-through. Again, kind of like filtered blog traffic vs. random click traffic. LOL

Quote:

Originally Posted by ottopottomouse

Doesn't a full beard and long hair just make you look a bit scruffy?

Said the chcik/dude with the pink hair and ever-changing avatar. Snort.
(Scruffy gets laid three times as much as clean-shaven and 'neat', trust me.)

NaughtyVisions · 09-26-2010, 02:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlCapone

It's the "Temple of Set".

Nope.

The Church of Satan was established in San Francisco, California, on Walpurgisnacht, April 30, 1966, by Anton Szandor LaVey, who was the Church's High Priest until his death in 1997.

Source: Church Of Satan

The Temple of Set was established in 1975 by Lt. Colonel of the US Army Michael A. Aquino and certain members of the priesthood of the Church of Satan.

Source: Temple of Set

I have better sources than Wikipedia, but I'm too lazy to track them down.

Plus, I've read all about it. I was big into occult/religion in my high school days.

NaughtyVisions · 09-26-2010, 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MisterPeabody

(Scruffy gets laid three times as much as clean-shaven and 'neat', trust me.)

Most chicks dig long hair. I've had my hair long for years, and it's always an icebreaker, as in, gets women to approach me and start playing with my hair. All I have to do is take it from there. (It should be noted that you have to have clean hair; chicks don't dig unwashed and unkept long hair on dudes.)

iSpyCams · 09-26-2010, 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ottopottomouse

Doesn't a full beard and long hair just make you look a bit scruffy?

It's about maintenance. I can look scruffy or not as I choose.

OneHungLo · 09-26-2010, 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pompousjohn

It's about maintenance. I can look scruffy or not as I choose.

Longest I've gone w/ out shaving was about 3 weeks to a month, tops. It drives me fucking nuts! I cant keep my hands off it and it itches like crazy.

The Porn Nerd · 09-26-2010, 05:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OneHungLo

Longest I've gone w/ out shaving was about 3 weeks to a month, tops. It drives me fucking nuts! I cant keep my hands off it and it itches like crazy.

That's what I can't handle, either: all the scratching. Fuck man, don't trim yer PUBES for a couple weeks and it's the Itchy & Scratchy Show down there but on the face it's unbearable.

fatfoo · 09-26-2010, 05:12 PM

A goatee can make you look more like a goat.

The Porn Nerd · 09-26-2010, 09:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fatfoo

A goatee can make you look more like a goat.

Haha! Thank you Foo! Nice one.

ottopottomouse · 09-27-2010, 03:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MisterPeabody

Said the chcik/dude with the pink hair and ever-changing avatar. Snort.
(Scruffy gets laid three times as much as clean-shaven and 'neat', trust me.)

Always keep my hair really short.

Growing it long it goes greasy.

Growing a beard just itches.

iSpyCams · 09-27-2010, 03:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MisterPeabody

That's what I can't handle, either: all the scratching. Fuck man, don't trim yer PUBES for a couple weeks and it's the Itchy & Scratchy Show down there but on the face it's unbearable.

The itching stops after a little while. Right now my neck itches a lot when I don't shave that for a few days.

v4 media · 09-27-2010, 05:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ottopottomouse

Always keep my hair really short.

Growing it long it goes greasy.

Growing a beard just itches.

I kept my head shaved for 15 years, then the wife said why don't you grow it a bit, 3 years later my hair is 1/2 way down my back and my beard is impressive... she's learned to never comment again.. I don't tell her what to do.

Long beards are nice, you find yourself stroking them like a wise old man when you're pondering a question. The itchyness goes away after a while, just give it a good wash with shampoo everyday and its super soft, a good scrub with a nailbrush does wonders aswell.

Tashes however are a different story.. I just look too fucking gay with a tash.

Jason Voorhees · 09-27-2010, 06:13 AM

selena · 09-27-2010, 06:18 AM

God, neither one. Clean shaven is the way to go!

The Porn Nerd · 09-27-2010, 09:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ottopottomouse

Always keep my hair really short.

Growing it long it goes greasy.

Growing a beard just itches.

Now if you were an actual girl then I'd say that's pretty hot - I like girls with short hair. LOL

Of course, being British you get a pass on the whole beard thing anyway; Brits can get away with them way better than most (think Eric Clapton).

ottopottomouse · 09-27-2010, 09:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ottopottomouse

Growing a beard just itches.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MisterPeabody

Now if you were an actual girl then I'd say that's pretty hot

Selective quoting FTW.

Even George Clooney manages to look a mess with a beard.

munki · 09-27-2010, 10:00 AM

Shit I have both... very long goatee, and full on Irish chops, is there any hope?

PornMD · 09-27-2010, 11:37 AM

Have an inverse goatee - let everything but the goatee area grow out. If goatees are evil, then perhaps Jesus had an inverse goatee.

09-25-2010, 07:55 PM	#1
The Porn Nerd Living The Dream Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Inside a Monitor Posts: 19,611	Saturday Nite Debate: Goatee or Mutton Chops? (pics) Personally, I'll take the "mutton chop" look over the "goatee" look any day of the week. Why? Cause any dweeboid can grow a goatee (and usually does, ick) while it takes a fucking MAN with fucking BALLS to walk around with mutton on his, um, chops. Like Mr. Neil Young, circa 1974: Now, don't get blinded by the overt apparent "hipness" of the Goatee, it's an illusion. It may work on evil Spock: But it's NOT cool on 99% of dudes, unless it's grown very, very long, like so: Then it's just, you know, fucking weird, kinda like a Mohawk. So let us celebrate the Mutton Chop! Shit, it looks even better when you multiply them, like Tribbles! __________________ My Affiliate Programs: Porn Nerd Cash \| Porn Showcase \| Aggressive Gold Over 90 paysites to promote! Now on Teams: peabodymedia

09-25-2010, 08:07 PM	#2
charlie g Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Center of the Universe Posts: 2,759	You must have a super interesting life with debate like this on a Saturday night But I am with you, give me some mutton chops anyday of the week! __________________ AlanAgus1 at gmail dot com -------------------------------

09-25-2010, 09:08 PM	#7
The Porn Nerd Living The Dream Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Inside a Monitor Posts: 19,611	Another reason not to like goatees: they seem to bring out the religious nuts. __________________ My Affiliate Programs: Porn Nerd Cash \| Porn Showcase \| Aggressive Gold Over 90 paysites to promote! Now on Teams: peabodymedia

09-26-2010, 05:22 AM	#10
ottopottomouse She is ugly, bad luck. Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 13,177	Neither. __________________ ↑ see post ↑ 13101

09-26-2010, 10:14 AM	#13
The Porn Nerd Living The Dream Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Inside a Monitor Posts: 19,611	Wow - I must've been drunk when I started this thread last night. Haha! But yeah, Neil Young RULES. Ouch - hangover. __________________ My Affiliate Programs: Porn Nerd Cash \| Porn Showcase \| Aggressive Gold Over 90 paysites to promote! Now on Teams: peabodymedia

09-25-2010, 08:12 PM	#3
jackknoff Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 545	Not spells evil more than a goatee... Mutton chops just make ya look like one of those damn dirty hippies. Just my 2 cents... Spanx! Jack

09-25-2010, 08:56 PM	#5
Chosen VIPPay.com \| AdultWebSponsors.com Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 63,151	None of the above...

09-25-2010, 09:07 PM	#6
garce Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Toronto Posts: 7,103	Neil Young wins over all. Doesn't matter about what his facial hair is. Neil wins.

09-25-2010, 09:15 PM	#8
garce Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Toronto Posts: 7,103	As much as I'm a Neil Young fan - and I love the man to death - He missed the boat wih this great song: Rock and Roll can never die? Its dead, Neil. Sorry. P.S. Neil Young has more talent and rock and roll attitude than anyone in the last 30 years. I'll give Slash a "bye" on this, but beyond Slash, there has not been a single guitar player who's been able to keep the faith. Even Slash has failed. Steve Vai? Carlos Santana? A joke. Rock guitar is dead.

09-26-2010, 07:39 AM	#11
campimp Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Gamehendge Posts: 1,340

09-26-2010, 10:27 AM	#15
charlie g Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Center of the Universe Posts: 2,759	Fucking neil young is probably in the top 5 of rock guitarists. I love cortez the killer. Some bad ass work there! __________________ AlanAgus1 at gmail dot com -------------------------------

09-26-2010, 10:55 AM	#16
iSpyCams Amateur Gynecologist Industry Role: Join Date: May 2009 Location: Medellin Posts: 4,436	Why choose? I rocked both back in the day till I got tired of trying to keep them trimmed and even and just did a full beard.

09-26-2010, 01:59 PM	#20
ottopottomouse She is ugly, bad luck. Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 13,177	Doesn't a full beard and long hair just make you look a bit scruffy? __________________ ↑ see post ↑ 13101

09-26-2010, 05:12 PM	#27
fatfoo ICQ:649699063 Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 27,763	A goatee can make you look more like a goat. __________________ Send me an email: [email protected]

09-27-2010, 06:13 AM	#32
Jason Voorhees So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Camp Crystal Lake. Posts: 843

09-27-2010, 06:18 AM	#33
selena Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: On The Edge Posts: 7,994	God, neither one. Clean shaven is the way to go! __________________ ~ Doer of Things at MetArtMoney Where Flawless Beauty Meets Art ~The MetArt Network ~ selena.delgado9

09-27-2010, 10:00 AM	#36
munki Do Fun Shit. Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: OC Posts: 13,393	Shit I have both... very long goatee, and full on Irish chops, is there any hope? __________________ “I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.” -Oscar Wilde

09-27-2010, 11:37 AM	#37
PornMD Mainstream Businessman Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: San Diego Posts: 9,291	Have an inverse goatee - let everything but the goatee area grow out. If goatees are evil, then perhaps Jesus had an inverse goatee. __________________ Want to crush it in mainstream with Facebook ads? Hit me up.