Is marriage really all that bad?

I am married to a cross between Roseanne, Joan Rivers, Howard Stern and Dracula. When we first got together, the sex was insane and we laughed all the time. What I thought were "quirks" are, I now realize, deep-seated emotional problems. On the one hand she's very bright, extremely creative and is a whiz at decorating and cooking. On the other, she's a real pig - whatever she takes off, she leaves right there. Horrible housekeeper, with no respect for the person living with her. Filthy sink all the time - we have a lot of expensive furniture, art, some great pieces, but the kitchen and bathroom look like subway restrooms - unless I clean them. I can't remember her ever cleaning the tub, or the toilet, or mopping the bathroom or kitchen floor. I have to tell her to clean the frig every few months, or penicillin grows rapidly. Very immature - it's like living with a 13 year-old who acts like your mother.

She's lazy. She grew up with Chihuahua's - I now live with 7 Chihuahua's - little yapping monsters and I'm surrounded with urine and feces in my beautiful home. She won't spend any time training them, but she will sit on the couch for hours watching "Dog Whisperer," "Chef," "America's Next Whatever," and "American Idol." She will cry over people being sent home, almos as easily as she will cry if I ask her to hang up her clothes and put away her bras and panties left out for all to see. I spend half my time picking up after her, the other half mopping up after these little rats. I said I spend A LOT OF TIME picking up after and cleaning up after her.

She's the most opinionated person I've ever met - she hates all the world and everyone in it, except two or three people she looks up to. And she turns her laser sighting on them sometimes too. She complains about her mother, her sister, her father, her stepmother all the time - if she was like this growing up, no wonder they hate her. People on TV, the clerk, the priest, the cop, the neighbor, my God - just everyman walking down the street, she's got a complaint about him, too - *****, *****, *****! Every relationship she gets into ends in disaster - work, friends, family. She gets in there, lights a stick of dynamite, watches everything blow up, and then cries like a little ***** when you call her on her part in it.

She is never wrong. And if you criticize her, somehow you have violated her civil rights, her very right to exist. Everything is a drama with her. For the first two years, every discussion became an argument that ended in tears. I know now she has had emotional problems and a history of mis-diagnosis and inappropriate and over-medication (anti-depressives, etc.) and it ruined her.

Control freak? When it got serious between us, when she felt safe enough to "let the cat out," I couldn't drive 2 miles without her giving driving lessons - "change lanes, drive faster, drive slower, park here, look out." I have literally had to shout at her like a madman to snap her back to reality. She thinks she knows everything about everything, and in reality, she knows about only a very few things, and is clueless about most. That doesn't stop her from expressing her very strong opinion. She wants everyone and everything to stand just so, move just so and "do and say the following."

I've never met anyone like her. She's the one you would be booing in a sitcom. And yet I've come to believe that if I pack up and leave her, she might do something... unpleasant to herself, and I can't have that on my conscience.

One thing I knew when I got involved, is that she would be faithful to me. I got screwed over by cheating, lying, stealing chicks in the past and I think that's mostly what I had my radar up for, ignoring the rest of it. I know she's loyal, and I am too - that had always been a problem for me in the past, but no more, that doesn't solve anything, just makes it 10 times worse. But is it worth it to have a loyal wife who is also a soul killer?

I'm getting tired just writing and reading this crap. I'm upset my life is turning out this way. I know I need to make a move, but I don't want to really hurt her. I know that, with her limited capacity, she loves me, but she's so wrapped up in herself, it's hardly worth it. Now I'm getting pissed off, I'd better stop now.

Women believe that movies and books are real. This is most obvious in their perception of the "romantic comedy" genre aka "chick flick". Of course most of them don't believe the actual actors are being filmed in a reality production showing a slice of an actual relationship. What they do believe is that what is being presented on screen is the pinnacle of male-female relationships and that they and every one around them should pattern their lives like what they see or read : role models. If the guy in their life doesn't act like that on-screen dipsh*t every single day of their lives together, they are dissatisfied.

The plots usually involve an irresistible female lead with a heart of gold and a strong male lead who gets turned into a "mangina" little omega-male by her ravishing awesomeness and throws away his life, bank account, aspirations, career, sanity, health and good judgement just to be in her presence.

What is the woman's reaction to this self-destructive male? Outwardly she may laugh and say it isn't reality. But inwardly , you can bet your last dollar ( if some woman hasn't spent it yet) she <b>CRAVES</b> this kind of martyrdom and worship from men. This is normal female behavior which is the origin of most female-oriented entertainment,chick flicks, Disney movies, soap operas, fairy tales throughout history.

The really crazy part is that for women, they want the first few weeks of romantic chasing to repeat everyday even after marriage. Modern women are still looking for Prince Charming within minutes of their weddings. This is the source of most sexless marriages ; the wife is still playing 'hard-to-get' even after she has been gotten! How fkn ridiculous is that? Why does she play these silly games? Because the only part of the male-female relationship that the modern female will accept is the courtship phase when she can act faux independently and have the male chase her. Because she can't accept a submissive role as wife to her husband , her life is miserable after the marriage and she tries to "re-create" the "magic" of being pursued by the male and showered with gifts over and over and over. This is the source of Valentine's Day, Mother's Day and the freakin 2 week long 'birthdays' that most women seem to get these days.

Males competing for female attention is also a natural thing. But what has happened is that women stopped asking themselves what kind of woman attracts a real man .Because of stubborn unnatural pride ,they have settled for weak-males, abusers,philanderers, or loneliness rather than submit to a good man and reap the benefits.

If you look at the Cinderella story in it's original form it is a classic example of a woman overcoming inter-female back-biting , bitchiness, faux independence and the herd mentality by submitting herself to a man according to the natural order and consequently being rewarded at every turn.

Unfortunately, the Cinderella story in fantasy and consequently reality( because women believe in the Cinderella story as it applies to reality) has been twisted and distorted to fit the unnatural paradigm women have slipped into over the last 90 years. Mangina actor's guild chief Hugh Grant as the bumbling skirt-chasing fkn moron "Prince Charming" , Sara Jessica Parker as the obnoxious Cindi (with an 'i') Rella looking to catch ,castrate and wedge some poor jerk into her life somewhere between shopping , drinking and whoring around and OPRAH ! as the fairy god-mother giving glass slippers to all today's audience members.

What has changed is instead of appreciating a female role where the female submits herself to be lifted up by a man out of a low status into a higher position and being taken care of the rest of her days, women now want "irresistible independent mouthy uncouth graceless female lead b*tch characters with incredibly successful careers". This is their <i>choice</i> in fantasy and for role models in reality (which for women is the same) .

This is why women are always dissatisfied; they set not only impossible standards for men, but standards that men want nothing to do with and conflict directly with men's own natural behavior and their standards for themselves . At the same time women have NO such legendary expectations of their own behavior. The double-standard that women have is staggering. It must be some sort of defense mechanism that allows them all to avoid being crushed by their own hypocrisy.

Reality Check : Do they believe that men think to themselves "wow, nothing like an independent icy-career b*tch (a la 'Sex in the City')to get my man-juices flowing".

Men find honor in responsibility, duty and strength.

Women should find honor in submission, caring and grace.

But not the modern American single gal.

They trumpet " I will never submit to a MAN! " "I don't NEED no MAN !", write stage plays about finding female strength in talking to their genitalia , demand special treatment to make them "feel" equal to men loudly and proudly in public while privately drinking and taking their meds for depression and neurosis ,and wondering and wailing about "why they can't get or keep a good man".

Pride before the fall.