7 Signs That You?ve Given Up on Getting Laid

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  • cthulhu_waves
    Confirmed User
    • Mar 2007
    • 1966

    #1

    7 Signs That You?ve Given Up on Getting Laid

    Chris Lathrop wrote this hilarious piece and I thought it's worth sharing to you pervs here.

    When you boil a man down to his core essence, the desire to get laid drives everything. Without it, there is no motivation to excel, succeed or be relevant. Whether or not he actually gets laid isn?t important. Even a married man who has no interest in bedding down other women must possess this desire, otherwise he will surely lapse into the abyss of a nondescript existence, a fate that is absolutely worse than death. Here are seven telltale signs that you?ve simply given up on impressing the opposite sex, and thus, given up on life. If any of these pertain to you, do something about it. Now.
    Read the Seven Signs here.
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  • CaptainHowdy
    Too lazy to set a custom title
    • Dec 2004
    • 94727

    #2
    I would put the pee stains around the toilet as the first and most important sign of them all...

    Comment

    • sortie
      Confirmed User
      • Mar 2007
      • 7771

      #3
      I think there is only one sign :

      Surfing GFY all day.

      Comment

      • BlackCrayon
        Too lazy to set a custom title
        • Jun 2003
        • 19634

        #4
        the south park tiger woods episode was pretty funny in regards to this "you mean a man would actually try to be successful just so he can sleep with many women?" lol
        you don't know you're wearing a leash if you sit by the peg all day..

        Comment

        • CaptainHowdy
          Too lazy to set a custom title
          • Dec 2004
          • 94727

          #5
          Originally posted by sortie
          I think there is only one sign :

          Surfing GFY all day.

          That would be the second most important sign for me...

          Comment

          • seeandsee
            Check SIG!
            • Mar 2006
            • 50945

            #6
            when i am full of food, i cant think about it
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            Comment

            • Jarmusch
               
              • May 2003
              • 12479

              #7
              Originally posted by CaptainHowdy
              I would put the pee stains around the toilet as the first and most important sign of them all...
              This is why I've been sitting down to pee at home for a long time.

              However, I failed on the very first sign. I have a pair of sneakers that stay on with two strips of velcro.

              Comment

              • JD
                Too lazy to set a custom title
                • Sep 2003
                • 22651

                #8
                wow that's a fucking stupid blog post lol

                Comment

                • CaptainHowdy
                  Too lazy to set a custom title
                  • Dec 2004
                  • 94727

                  #9
                  Originally posted by Jarmusch
                  This is why I've been sitting down to pee at home for a long time.
                  I do that every once in a while just to spice things up...

                  Comment

                  • sortie
                    Confirmed User
                    • Mar 2007
                    • 7771

                    #10
                    But the most clear sign of giving up is when people can make songs out of your
                    phone conversations :



                    Comment

                    • JFK
                      FUBAR the ORIGINATOR
                      • Jan 2002
                      • 67373

                      #11
                      ?so would you be open to an afternoon movie and you sucking my cock afterward?


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                      Comment

                      • Altwebdesign

                        #12
                        as mystery said, nature will unappologetically weed your genes out of existance!

                        Comment

                        • Jarmusch
                           
                          • May 2003
                          • 12479

                          #13
                          Originally posted by CaptainHowdy
                          I do that every once in a while just to spice things up...
                          I do it mostly because I'm too lazy to clean the aftermath.

                          Also, peeing sitting down is a nice rest from sitting in front of the computer all day.

                          Comment

                          • gmr324
                            Confirmed User
                            • Aug 2006
                            • 1199

                            #14
                            That reminds me of the Seinfeld episode with George wearning elastic band sweatpants!
                            Funny stuff!

                            Comment

                            • CYF
                              Coupon Guru
                              • Mar 2009
                              • 10973

                              #15
                              that blog post sucked.
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                              Comment

                              • CurrentlySober
                                Too lazy to wipe my ass
                                • Aug 2002
                                • 38941

                                #16
                                I piss in the handbasin. Its a better height and has a wider area


                                👁️ 👍️ 💩

                                Comment

                                • CDSmith
                                  Too lazy to set a custom title
                                  • May 2001
                                  • 51460

                                  #17
                                  Wow, was I ever surprised to find I'm not guilty of any of those things.


                                  Btw, who is Chris Laptop?
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                                  Comment

                                  • cam_girls
                                    So Fucking Banned
                                    • Apr 2009
                                    • 2968

                                    #18
                                    I just got used to standing in a puddle of urine

                                    Comment

                                    • GrouchyAdmin
                                      Now choke yourself!
                                      • Apr 2006
                                      • 12085

                                      #19
                                      Oddly enough, I've only got one of those, and I don't even bother dealing with people unless I have to. The test is askew.

                                      Comment

                                      • fatfoo
                                        ICQ:649699063
                                        • Mar 2003
                                        • 27763

                                        #20
                                        I would say it's the desire to survive, not desire not get laid.
                                        Send me an email: [email protected]

                                        Comment

                                        • kane
                                          Too lazy to set a custom title
                                          • Aug 2001
                                          • 20684

                                          #21
                                          Luckily I only resemble one of them. The paper and plastic thing. It is summer, I grill a lot and make sandwiches a lot so I use paper plates a lot. The girlfriend doesn't seem to mind.

                                          Comment

                                          • BJ
                                            Confirmed User
                                            • Mar 2002
                                            • 5590

                                            #22
                                            scabs on your pee pee

                                            Comment

                                            • pornmasta
                                              Too lazy to set a custom title
                                              • Jun 2006
                                              • 20016

                                              #23
                                              yes but no...

                                              http://www.freakingnews.com/pictures...rted-35309.jpg

                                              Comment

                                              • pornmasta
                                                Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                • Jun 2006
                                                • 20016

                                                #24
                                                Also i you find god you can have sex with thess 7 signs (yes to create son of god)...

                                                Comment

                                                • tiger
                                                  Confirmed User
                                                  • Apr 2002
                                                  • 6986

                                                  #25
                                                  Some of those are pretty funny but some are stupid.

                                                  Anyway if you are rich or famous you can do every single thing on that list and still get laid more than you could ever want I'm sure.

                                                  Comment

                                                  • mynameisjim
                                                    Confirmed User
                                                    • Aug 2007
                                                    • 2985

                                                    #26
                                                    Sort of funny, but oddly enough, the guys I know who pick up the most women are pretty disgusting with their living habits. The clean I guys I know almost always go home empty handed. Go figure.

                                                    A lot of it is attitude and how you carry yourself. If you look a little too put together, that's sort of a turn off for women.
                                                    jim (at) amateursconvert . com Amateurs Convert

                                                    Comment

                                                    • _Richard_
                                                      Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                      • Oct 2006
                                                      • 30991

                                                      #27
                                                      i was in the clear till girlfriend was removing my sandals, and i heard the horrible sound of velcro and thought to myself 'that's the first fucking sign!'

                                                      Comment

                                                      • CDSmith
                                                        Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                        • May 2001
                                                        • 51460

                                                        #28
                                                        I was poor and never got laid.
                                                        Then I got rich, and the girls started coming around
                                                        I asked them "where were you when I was fucking poor?"
                                                        So I still
                                                        never get laid.
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                                                        Comment

                                                        • The Porn Nerd
                                                          Living The Dream
                                                          • Jun 2009
                                                          • 19786

                                                          #29
                                                          I'm so lonely...
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