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-   -   Help! I think I knocked up a hooker! (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=97712)

OneHungLo 01-03-2003 07:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by mongoose403
been having fun with this girl off and on for about 6 months, now she says she is pregnant and is gonna fuck my shit up unless I take care of her ($$$$$)... waiting for the tests..

any advice?:helpme

Start hiding your money NOW! I have no clue what your financial status is but if you make alot she's def, gonna get her fingers on some of it.

greentea 01-03-2003 07:33 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Sassyass
HOOKER:

Hey baby, here's our new son..

http://www.rikky.net/news/babypants.jpg

LOL

NetRodent 01-03-2003 07:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Gutterboy
Watch The Shawshank Redemption.

That should give you enough motivation to cash out, change your name, and move to a small coastal town in Mexico.


Like Zihuatanejo?

NoCarrier 01-03-2003 07:46 PM

Just pretend you are gay for the next couple of years..

Suck hundreds of cocks, hangout in the gay village.. etc..

You will then have an alibi.

Jack Tripper did it in the seventies in Three's Company. You can too. Good luck :Graucho

High Quality 01-03-2003 07:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Cheshire
You can't test for paternity before a baby is born.
Yes you can. The docs just stick a huge needle into the pregnant belly and draw fluid. Same way they do it to test for various diseases like MS, CP and aids.

Sarah_Jayne 01-03-2003 08:36 PM

or you could face up to it and take responsibility for your actions. If she really is a hooker, come on a condom? All this about how it is going to mess your life up. It might just mess hers up a bit too.

nuclei 01-03-2003 09:42 PM

First off, why the FUCK would you do a hooker, who prolly does a number of men daily, every day, without protection???

nuclei 01-03-2003 09:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sarah_webinc
or you could face up to it and take responsibility for your actions. If she really is a hooker, come on a condom? All this about how it is going to mess your life up. It might just mess hers up a bit too.
Sarah, if he wanted to take responsibility he would not have been using a hooker, he would have found a single mother and told her he loved her.......

Also, how can it fuck up the hookers life? SHE is the service and should have made sure her shit was covered.

Lethal 01-03-2003 09:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sarah_webinc
or you could face up to it and take responsibility for your actions. If she really is a hooker, come on a condom? All this about how it is going to mess your life up. It might just mess hers up a bit too.
Who gives a fuck, she's just a dirty hoo-er.

greentea 01-03-2003 09:48 PM

I hope this guy went out and got an STD'S test, if not go do it asap.

You cant be a father to a hooker baby if your dead of aids!

Sarah_Jayne 01-03-2003 09:49 PM

well, I suppose what we want and what we get isn't always the same thing.

I hope both sides have as few complications as possible.

greentea 01-03-2003 09:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Sassyass
HOOKER:

Hey baby, here's our new son..

http://www.rikky.net/news/babypants.jpg

:1orglaugh

multisexsite 01-03-2003 09:54 PM

crazy shit

Baal 01-03-2003 09:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by mongoose403
been having fun with this girl off and on for about 6 months, now she says she is pregnant and is gonna fuck my shit up unless I take care of her ($$$$$)... waiting for the tests..

any advice?:helpme

Good luck on the STD tests.

If she has the baby and it turns out to be yours, be a man and do your share to raise your child (either through custody or $$). If you were man enough to fuck her, you're man enough to make sure your child is provided for. This girl may try to milk you dry, but at least make sure your child is provided for.

Bobby Vicious 01-03-2003 10:04 PM

Good work laddy. I can remember my first time i knocked up a hooker.:thumbsup

mongoose403 01-04-2003 11:18 AM

nice:(

DarkJedi 01-04-2003 11:31 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lethal
Just kill her and feed the body to the pigs. No body + no murder weapon + no witnesses = no case.

actually its: no body = no case
other shit matters not

fnet 01-04-2003 11:45 AM

Ok, try this:

Start acting really depressed. Don't shave or comb your hair, talk in a quiet voice, look distracted. Wear the same clothes every day. Keep this up for a week.

You just lost your job.

And the bank is going to foreclose.

Does she think she could help out some?

Go to the atm and tell her it ate your credit card.

Do everything you can to give her that sinking feeling.

She'll get the abortion faster than you can blink.

Don't get played.

Quote:

Originally posted by goBigtime
She just needs some money for something and is playing you. Did she recently ask you for a loan or something (maybe within the last couple months) or mention any recent financial hardships (like hinting that she might be open to a loan?). Unless shes totally fucked up in the head, she would probably try one of those more passive attempts to snatch your cash first.

In any case, tell her you are going to hire a PI to track and get in touch with all her John's to make sure that she isn't pulling the same thing on any of them as well :thumbsup


[The Leader] 01-04-2003 02:17 PM

Bro, I'd tell you how stupid you are, but you already realize it now I'm sure. Tell her she has two options, get an abortion that you'll pay for (and maybe bribe her with a couple grand cash), or tell her you'll be fucking out of the coutry tomorrow and she'll never see a dime from you.

Mr.Txt 01-04-2003 02:39 PM

Sleep over her house( if she lives in one). Light her cat on fire while she is sleeping and you will never see her again. The next morning:

Fireman: Mr.mongoose, we are so sorry your cat has been killed from the fire.

Mongoose: Oh my gosh, that is horrible!


:1orglaugh

daman420 01-04-2003 02:49 PM

do any of the following:

1. punch / kick the bitch in the belly several times
2. she's a fucking hooker, if she'll suck dick for money she'll have an abortion for money
3. get ur ass tested, u never know what u might have got from her or whom else u might transmit the same diseases to

what were u thinking fucking a hooker with no condom???

That's suicide.

Good luck

SleazyDream 01-04-2003 02:55 PM

tell her you're gona sue her for custody of the kid and theft of your genes. You had a professional relationship limited to sex only, not conception and she stole your genetic code without your concent.

cluck 01-04-2003 02:58 PM

Fucking chickenheads always trying to make a buck. She just wants the child support. Tell her to have an abortion and get her ass back into the henhouse cause you are not gonna get played.

mongoose403 01-04-2003 03:03 PM

guys--- seriously I used a condom every time, but I remember they broke at least twice...

I guess I really needed to use more lube, she was dry as a bone and in retrospect the poor latex didnt stand a chance...:(

asuna 01-04-2003 04:16 PM

hmm interesting, kick a maybe pregnant whore in teh belly, but don't throw a kitty in the air :1orglaugh

galleriesx 01-04-2003 04:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by daman420
do any of the following:

1. punch / kick the bitch in the belly several times

I have some italian friends that would do such a job for 30$ and some good joints :Graucho

Mr.Txt 01-04-2003 04:29 PM

yeah but see when you light a kitty on fire it rolls all over the house, so you make sure the whole house goes on fire AND everything in it..

btw, this is also a great way to build a new house.... for free (insurance) :thumbsup

Voodoo 01-04-2003 04:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by mongoose403
been having fun with this girl off and on for about 6 months, now she says she is pregnant and is gonna fuck my shit up unless I take care of her ($$$$$)... waiting for the tests..

any advice?:helpme


You didn't give her your REAL name did you?

Gutterboy 01-04-2003 04:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by mongoose403
guys--- seriously I used a condom every time, but I remember they broke at least twice...
At least? Damn man, I'd have been double wrapping from the beginning with a fucking hooker. One layer of latex is way to little to be trusting your life to with some skank ass hooker pussy.

ServerGenius 01-04-2003 04:43 PM

It's good to see so many of you have respect for women....
bunch of fucking losers.....first you pay to fuck a woman because
you're unable to get laid for free and then you bash the same
women.....and say the most horrible things..

You all get funky when a guy tosses a cat around but when a
hooker get knocked up....you want to kick her in her stomach,
shoot her, etc, etc.

Not only did you make her pregnant you also fucked up her
career.....coz whatever you may think about hookers.....at least
they work for their money.....and it's not the most easy job in
the world.....

I would expect this behaviour from radical religious groups but
not from fucking pornographers.....I'm fucking ashamed to be
a man when I read the shit you all say here......

I hope you get fucked really bad and that she drains you in to
bankruptcy fucking prick!

DynaMite :321GFY

ServerGenius 01-04-2003 04:52 PM

before I get any remarks on the cat tossing asshole.....no I don't
think throwing cats around should be tolerated either...

DynaMite

asuna 01-04-2003 04:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Gutterboy


At least? Damn man, I'd have been double wrapping from the beginning with a fucking hooker. One layer of latex is way to little to be trusting your life to with some skank ass hooker pussy.

Thats even worse, double layer of latex is more prone to tear

Mr.Txt 01-04-2003 05:09 PM

I remember someone telling me that so we could cheat the insurance company...so Go Fuck Yourself! 'asshole'

sumphatpimp 01-04-2003 06:47 PM

If you take the time to really think about this there is no problem here.
He got her pregnant, she gave him aids, and all three, her, him, and the kid are going to die.
So where's the problem?

But you got to admit this would make a great Reality Site.

How I Fucked Up My Life, by Some Ahole . Com

Manny The Freak 01-04-2003 07:15 PM

get checked for HIV and leave the country that is unless you know the whore well enough.

playa 01-04-2003 07:40 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Cheshire
You can't test for paternity before a baby is born.

yes you can,, but it's risky cuz they gotta pierce the placenta,


most of yall sound like a bunch a kids with no experience,

All you gotta do is wait till the baby is born and have Paternity Test,

in the meantime do not give her shit, I seen enough jerry springer episodes to understand that some woman would trap the guy with the biggest loot,

but if its yours then your at the mercy of the court and be man and do whats right

Like they say Momma's baby, Daddy's Maybe

kenga 01-04-2003 08:18 PM

Get yourself and make her get tested for HIV. Compared to HIV a baby is a blessing. After you get tested for HIV, get a lawyer. Don't let her blackmail you.

kenga 01-04-2003 08:27 PM

AND ANOTHER THING....
How does she know it's YOURS. She's a hooker right? How many people has she 'done business' with including you? All of whom could be the father. Unless she's a really shitty hooker (with no business) how do you know it's yours?

mongoose403 01-05-2003 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DynaSpain
It's good to see so many of you have respect for women....
bunch of fucking losers.....first you pay to fuck a woman because
you're unable to get laid for free and then you bash the same
women.....and say the most horrible things..

You all get funky when a guy tosses a cat around but when a
hooker get knocked up....you want to kick her in her stomach,
shoot her, etc, etc.

Not only did you make her pregnant you also fucked up her
career.....coz whatever you may think about hookers.....at least
they work for their money.....and it's not the most easy job in
the world.....

I would expect this behaviour from radical religious groups but
not from fucking pornographers.....I'm fucking ashamed to be
a man when I read the shit you all say here......

I hope you get fucked really bad and that she drains you in to
bankruptcy fucking prick!

DynaMite :321GFY






you gotta be the biggest fucking hipocrita on this board..

estas enojadizo por que tienes pequeno pito!

ole!

greentea 02-12-2004 10:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by mongoose403
been having fun with this girl off and on for about 6 months, now she says she is pregnant and is gonna fuck my shit up unless I take care of her ($$$$$)... waiting for the tests..

any advice?:helpme


How old is the kid now?


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