Friday morning joke ~ ! - GoFuckYourself.com

NetHorse · 06-04-2010, 05:35 AM

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch.. It doesn?t have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, ?Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot??

The parrot says, ?I was born this way.. I?m a defective parrot.?

?Holy crap,? the guy replies. ?You actually understood and answered me!?

?I got every word,? says the parrot. ?I happen to be a highly intelligent thoroughly educated bird?

?Oh yeah?? the guy asks, ?Then answer this ? how do you hang onto your perch without any feet??

?Well,? the parrot says, ?this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can?t see it because of my feathers.?

?Wow,? says the guy?.. ?You really can understand and speak English can?t you??

?Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I?m especially good at ornithology? You really ought to buy me. I?d be a great companion.?

The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag?. ?Sorry, but I just can?t afford that.?

?Pssssssst,? says the parrot, ?I?m defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don?t have any feet. You can probably get me for $20; just make the guy an offer!?

The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.

Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational?.He has a great sense of humor, he?s interesting, he?s a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he?s insightful.. The guy is delighted.

One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes, ?Psssssssssssst,? and motions him over with one wing. ?I don?t know if I should tell you this or not, but it?s about your wife and the UPS man..?

?What are you talking about?? asks the guy.

?When the UPS man delivered a package today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie.?

?WHAT???? the guy asks incredulously. ?THEN what happened??

?Well, then the UPS man came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over,? reported the parrot.

?NO!? he exclaims. ?And she let him??

?Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over??

Then the frantic guy demands, ?THEN WHAT HAPPENED??

?Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!?

Spunky · 06-04-2010, 05:48 AM

Heh heh,that made me chuckle

cthulhu_waves · 06-04-2010, 05:51 AM

Good one. :-)

ottopottomouse · 06-04-2010, 06:43 AM

haha

5678

martinsc · 06-04-2010, 09:25 AM

charlie g · 06-04-2010, 09:33 AM

Thanks!!! Really cute.

fatfoo · 06-04-2010, 09:39 AM

That is funny, NetHorse.

"He began petting her all over" - ha ha.

CamsMaster · 06-04-2010, 10:24 AM

haha ... nice Loved this one

06-04-2010, 05:35 AM	#1
NetHorse Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Chicago Posts: 3,526	Friday morning joke ~ ! A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch.. It doesn?t have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, ?Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?? The parrot says, ?I was born this way.. I?m a defective parrot.? ?Holy crap,? the guy replies. ?You actually understood and answered me!? ?I got every word,? says the parrot. ?I happen to be a highly intelligent thoroughly educated bird? ?Oh yeah?? the guy asks, ?Then answer this ? how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?? ?Well,? the parrot says, ?this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can?t see it because of my feathers.? ?Wow,? says the guy?.. ?You really can understand and speak English can?t you?? ?Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I?m especially good at ornithology? You really ought to buy me. I?d be a great companion.? The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag?. ?Sorry, but I just can?t afford that.? ?Pssssssst,? says the parrot, ?I?m defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don?t have any feet. You can probably get me for $20; just make the guy an offer!? The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational?.He has a great sense of humor, he?s interesting, he?s a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he?s insightful.. The guy is delighted. One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes, ?Psssssssssssst,? and motions him over with one wing. ?I don?t know if I should tell you this or not, but it?s about your wife and the UPS man..? ?What are you talking about?? asks the guy. ?When the UPS man delivered a package today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie.? ?WHAT???? the guy asks incredulously. ?THEN what happened?? ?Well, then the UPS man came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over,? reported the parrot. ?NO!? he exclaims. ?And she let him?? ?Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over?? Then the frantic guy demands, ?THEN WHAT HAPPENED?? ?Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!? __________________ ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐ ICQ # 427013273

06-04-2010, 05:48 AM	#2
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,949	Heh heh,that made me chuckle __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

06-04-2010, 05:51 AM	#3
cthulhu_waves Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: San Francisco, CA Posts: 1,966	Good one. :-) __________________ DATINGFACTORY.COM WE BUILD YOUR BRAND, NOT OURS! Private Label *Dating* Solutions & Affiliate *Dating* Network.

06-04-2010, 06:43 AM	#4
ottopottomouse She is ugly, bad luck. Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 13,177	haha 5678 __________________ ↑ see post ↑ 13101

06-04-2010, 09:25 AM	#5
martinsc Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: 127.0.0.1 Posts: 27,047	__________________ Make Money

06-04-2010, 09:33 AM	#6
charlie g Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Center of the Universe Posts: 2,759	Thanks!!! Really cute. __________________ AlanAgus1 at gmail dot com -------------------------------

06-04-2010, 09:39 AM	#7
fatfoo ICQ:649699063 Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 27,763	That is funny, NetHorse. "He began petting her all over" - ha ha. __________________ Send me an email: [email protected]

06-04-2010, 10:24 AM	#8
CamsMaster Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 1,200	haha ... nice Loved this one __________________ Sex Chat Roulette \| Adult Sex Chat \| Cam Sites \| Mature Cams \| Director Web \| Videochat \| Webmaster \| MediaEnterprise