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Mark_E4A

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#1

funny newfie joke

10-22-2010, 10:57 AM

The National Poetry Contest had come down to two semi-finalists: A Yale graduate, and a Newfoundlander. They were given a single word, then allowed two minutes to come up with a poem that contained the word.

The word they were given was ' TIMBUKTU '.
The Yale graduate stepped to the microphone and said:

'SLOWLY ACROSS THE DESERT SAND
TREKKED A LONELY CARAVAN.
MEN ON CAMELS, TWO BY TWO
DESTINATION - TIMBUKTU '.

The crowd went crazy! No way could the Newfie top that, they thought.

The Newfoundlander calmly made his way to the microphone and recited:

'ME AND TIM A HUNTIN' WENT,
MET T'REE WHORES IN A POP-UP TENT.
DEY WAS T'REE, AND WE WAS TWO,
SO I BUCKED ONE, AND TIMBUKTU '!

The Newfie won -- hands down

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Bratt

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#2

10-22-2010, 10:59 AM

omg that is funny

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Jdoughs

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#3

10-22-2010, 11:01 AM

LOL

If any American's are having a hard time getting it, read it with Larry The Cable Guys accent and it will make more sense.

Very similar to a strong newfie accent to the 'untrained ear'.

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#4

10-22-2010, 11:01 AM

I like that one.

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Waiter

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#5

10-22-2010, 11:02 AM

lol that's funny

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#6

10-22-2010, 11:04 AM

That is great!
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Agent 488

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#7

10-22-2010, 11:05 AM

the dark heart of newfism at it's finest.
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Evil Chris

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#8

10-22-2010, 11:05 AM

hahaha good one... I love Newfie jokes.

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#9

10-22-2010, 11:10 AM

Long live Canadia!!!!!!!
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#10

10-22-2010, 11:21 AM

Not bad at all Mark

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wild johnny

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#11

10-22-2010, 11:22 AM

Laughing!!

But, "Scratching me head". I still don't reckon what a T'Ree Whore is. So I went an asked Pa and he tole me that's what they call a knotty ole birch... Cracking Up!!

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Mark_E4A

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#12

10-22-2010, 11:23 AM

Originally posted by wild johnny

Laughing!!

But, "Scratching me head". I still don't reckon what a T'Ree Whore is. So I went an asked Pa and he tole me that's what they call a knotty ole birch... Cracking Up!!

three whores

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#13

10-22-2010, 11:37 AM

i got it after reading it :D

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#14

10-22-2010, 11:40 AM

Originally posted by Mark_E4A

three whores

Not even a blonde newfie could be so daft.
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#15

10-22-2010, 12:46 PM

Fucking newfies I love those crazy bastards...

When Americans think of the stereotypicaL Canadian "sounds like a mumbling retard" accent, they are thinking about Newfies, and they haven't even heard a rough Newfie accent before. You haven't lived until you've partied with a bunch of drunk Newfs...
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#16

10-22-2010, 12:53 PM

Originally posted by Angry Jew Cat

Fucking newfies I love those crazy bastards...

When Americans think of the stereotypicaL Canadian "sounds like a mumbling retard" accent, they are thinking about Newfies, and they haven't even heard a rough Newfie accent before. You haven't lived until you've partied with a bunch of drunk Newfs...

I was working in the carpenters union on a hydro dam in Northern Ontario once and the best 'dam builders' were this crew from St Mary's Bay Newfoundland.

The foremen all laid into us one day for about 5-6 minutes about forms on this concrete dam being wrong and after he left none of us had a clue what he had said, not a word except 'beh' (newfie for boy, which is friend/buddy/mate/ but also loser/dickhead/fucktard).

There was one guy we had been doing lunches with (smoke breaks) and he was from St Johns with a mean ass newfie accent, so we asked him what was up.

He said he couldn't "un'stan a'thing dem feckers fom St Mary's Beh sayd"

Supposedly even the hardcore newfies couldn't understand their dialect of 'newfie', which would be a dialect of English (I think).

That newfie brought a WHOLE Christmas Tree to the jobsite December 21st. Complete tree, said the wife was drunk and called him an asshole relating to the Christmas Tree and he threatened to take it to work with him in the morning, which he did, decorations, lights, family ornaments and all. Crazy fucker.

Last edited by Jdoughs; 10-22-2010, 12:54 PM.

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#17

10-22-2010, 01:04 PM

Originally posted by Jdoughs

I was working in the carpenters union on a hydro dam in Northern Ontario once and the best 'dam builders' were this crew from St Mary's Bay Newfoundland.

The foremen all laid into us one day for about 5-6 minutes about forms on this concrete dam being wrong and after he left none of us had a clue what he had said, not a word except 'beh' (newfie for boy, which is friend/buddy/mate/ but also loser/dickhead/fucktard).

There was one guy we had been doing lunches with (smoke breaks) and he was from St Johns with a mean ass newfie accent, so we asked him what was up.

He said he couldn't "un'stan a'thing dem feckers fom St Mary's Beh sayd"

Supposedly even the hardcore newfies couldn't understand their dialect of 'newfie', which would be a dialect of English (I think).

That newfie brought a WHOLE Christmas Tree to the jobsite December 21st. Complete tree, said the wife was drunk and called him an asshole relating to the Christmas Tree and he threatened to take it to work with him in the morning, which he did, decorations, lights, family ornaments and all. Crazy fucker.

Ya, a thick Newfie accent is something else. A lot of the Newfies out west have lost it over time. It's still noticeable, but it's faded out. That is, until you get a bottle of rum in them, and it's like they've zapped themselves straight back to Newfoundland...
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Jdoughs

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#18

10-22-2010, 01:13 PM

Originally posted by Angry Jew Cat

Ya, a thick Newfie accent is something else. A lot of the Newfies out west have lost it over time. It's still noticeable, but it's faded out. That is, until you get a bottle of rum in them, and it's like they've zapped themselves straight back to Newfoundland...

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Doug of Montreal

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#19

10-22-2010, 01:57 PM

Thanks for the Friday funny ;)

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