The Pentagon is moving... - GoFuckYourself.com

ExtremeBank_Adam · 04-01-2010, 04:40 PM

http://www.army.mil/-news/2010/04/01...headline-link0

WASHINGTON (April 1, 2010) -- Top Army officials unveiled plans early today to relocate the massive Pentagon building to the western part of Kansas sometime this summer.

"This move will be a huge undertaking, but we determined it was a necessary step as we realign our force structure," said one of the Army's top generals.

"Once we started investigating the possibility of the move, we determined that it was not only critical to our efforts, but that it would be good for our employees and the environment," the general continued.

The move, which is tentatively being planned for this August, will be one of the greatest undertakings ever attempted, according to the Wilbur Q. Johnson, who is a long-time Pentagon employee and who will also oversee the move.

"The move will take place in three primary phases," said Johnson. "Initially we will use a giant crane to lift the building onto a barge in the Potomac River. From there we will float the barge down the Atlantic Coast and into the Gulf of Mexico. Then, we will sail the Pentagon up the Mississippi River to just south of St. Louis. In the final stage, we will place the building on large flat-bed trucks and drive it the rest of the way."

"We aren't announcing exactly when we are going to do this for security reasons," said Johnson, "and we aren't announcing the final location either for the same reasons."

Although the final location hasn't been announced, interstate traffic in Kansas will be affected. "Those who drive on the interstate can expect significant delays. During this move, I-70 in Kansas will be closed to all traffic," Johnson warned.

Those who work in the Pentagon will only experience minor disruptions, according to Johnson. "We have sought the advice of the Navy and determined that we can just treat the building like a big ship as we move. All of the employees will basically be expected to pack as if they were going on a two-week trip and they will then remain in the building for the duration of the move," Johnson explained.

"We will make sure that we store enough food and water for the workers on that journey," said Johnson. "Additionally, we will maintain Internet connectivity via satellite during the move and use generators and solar panels for power."

On the day the move begins, Pentagon workers will be strongly discouraged from driving to work, as they will be unable to retrieve their cars, Johnson explained. "But, we will give building workers at least 72 hours notice before the move, so they can make the appropriate plans."

Vendzilla · 04-01-2010, 04:43 PM

Happy April Fools Day

Konkan · 04-01-2010, 04:54 PM

April Fools

baddog · 04-01-2010, 05:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vendzilla

Happy April Fools Day

Had me going up until the crane.

leedsfan · 04-01-2010, 05:11 PM

i was two lines in, before i realized how stupid i was

Vendzilla · 04-01-2010, 07:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by baddog

Had me going up until the crane.

I had doubt after Kansas, but the crane was the sinker

BIGTYMER · 04-01-2010, 07:44 PM

Nice to see our military has a sense of humor.

Semi-Retired-Dave · 04-01-2010, 08:31 PM

That would have been a fun Move Day. Ask the public for help.

woj · 04-01-2010, 09:21 PM

DaddyHalbucks · 04-01-2010, 09:25 PM

Isn't it the world's largest office building?

2012 · 04-01-2010, 09:32 PM

JP513 · 04-03-2010, 08:37 AM

worst april fools joke ever

JP513 · 04-03-2010, 08:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaddyHalbucks

Isn't it the world's largest office building?

Yes, in terms of actual square footage, its the largest by a lot!

04-01-2010, 04:40 PM	#1
ExtremeBank_Adam Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Tampa, FL Posts: 1,671	The Pentagon is moving... http://www.army.mil/-news/2010/04/01...headline-link0 WASHINGTON (April 1, 2010) -- Top Army officials unveiled plans early today to relocate the massive Pentagon building to the western part of Kansas sometime this summer. "This move will be a huge undertaking, but we determined it was a necessary step as we realign our force structure," said one of the Army's top generals. "Once we started investigating the possibility of the move, we determined that it was not only critical to our efforts, but that it would be good for our employees and the environment," the general continued. The move, which is tentatively being planned for this August, will be one of the greatest undertakings ever attempted, according to the Wilbur Q. Johnson, who is a long-time Pentagon employee and who will also oversee the move. "The move will take place in three primary phases," said Johnson. "Initially we will use a giant crane to lift the building onto a barge in the Potomac River. From there we will float the barge down the Atlantic Coast and into the Gulf of Mexico. Then, we will sail the Pentagon up the Mississippi River to just south of St. Louis. In the final stage, we will place the building on large flat-bed trucks and drive it the rest of the way." "We aren't announcing exactly when we are going to do this for security reasons," said Johnson, "and we aren't announcing the final location either for the same reasons." Although the final location hasn't been announced, interstate traffic in Kansas will be affected. "Those who drive on the interstate can expect significant delays. During this move, I-70 in Kansas will be closed to all traffic," Johnson warned. Those who work in the Pentagon will only experience minor disruptions, according to Johnson. "We have sought the advice of the Navy and determined that we can just treat the building like a big ship as we move. All of the employees will basically be expected to pack as if they were going on a two-week trip and they will then remain in the building for the duration of the move," Johnson explained. "We will make sure that we store enough food and water for the workers on that journey," said Johnson. "Additionally, we will maintain Internet connectivity via satellite during the move and use generators and solar panels for power." On the day the move begins, Pentagon workers will be strongly discouraged from driving to work, as they will be unable to retrieve their cars, Johnson explained. "But, we will give building workers at least 72 hours notice before the move, so they can make the appropriate plans." __________________ ExtremeBank.com, the EXTREME program for the Pornicate.com Network of sites: Naughty Alysha, Roxy Raye, Buddha Bang, Angie Noir, Fisting Sex, Extreme Ty & many more. Email: adam [at] extremebank.com \| ICQ: 331-797-412

04-01-2010, 04:43 PM	#2
Vendzilla Biker Gnome Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: cell#324 Posts: 23,200	Happy April Fools Day __________________ Webair died? Carbon is not the problem, it makes up 0.041% of our atmosphere , 95% of that is from Volcanos and decomposing plants and stuff. So people in the US are responsible for 13% of the carbon in the atmosphere which 95% is not from Humans, like cars and trucks and stuff and they want to spend trillions to fix it while Solar Panel plants are powered by coal plants think about that

04-01-2010, 04:54 PM	#3
Konkan Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 3,537	April Fools __________________ Only one affiliate program for Pussy and Cash

04-01-2010, 05:11 PM	#5
leedsfan leedsfan Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: purgatory Posts: 2,564	i was two lines in, before i realized how stupid i was __________________ Advertise on Sex2ube.com New Tube Content Packages Save $10K +

04-01-2010, 08:31 PM	#8
Semi-Retired-Dave Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: LA Posts: 11,190	That would have been a fun Move Day. Ask the public for help. __________________ Support a Good Cause

04-01-2010, 07:44 PM	#7
BIGTYMER Junior Achiever Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Walled Garden Posts: 17,066	Nice to see our military has a sense of humor.

04-01-2010, 09:21 PM	#9
woj <&(©¿©)&> Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Chicago Posts: 47,882	__________________ Custom Software Development, email: woj#at#wojfun#.#com to discuss details or skype: wojl2000 or gchat: wojfun or telegram: wojl2000 Affiliate program tools: Hosted Galleries Manager Banner Manager Video Manager Wordpress Affiliate Plugin Pic/Movie of the Day Fansign Generator Zip Manager

04-01-2010, 09:25 PM	#10
DaddyHalbucks A freakin' legend! Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Las Vegas, Nevada USA Posts: 18,975	Isn't it the world's largest office building? __________________ Boner Money

04-01-2010, 09:32 PM	#11
2012 So Fucking What Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 17,189	__________________ best host: Webair \| best sponsor: Kink \| best coder: 688218966 \| Go Fuck Yourself

04-03-2010, 08:37 AM	#12
JP513 Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: The Republic of Barebackistan Posts: 1,914	worst april fools joke ever __________________ I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I wish I was drinking wine instead.