Some Silly Saturday Jokes For You! - GoFuckYourself.com

BFT3K · 01-09-2010, 01:01 PM

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

5.. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"

"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."

"Is it common?"

Well, "It's Not Unusual."

8. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

9. DejaMoo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

10. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

11. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"

12. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

13. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

14. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!"

15. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.

Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

16. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

17. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him "Juan" Year's later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

18. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him. (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good)..... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

19.. Two blondes walked into a building. (You'd have thought one of them would have seen it!)

20. And finally, there was the person who posted twenty different jokes on GFY, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh.

No pun in ten did

Loch · 01-09-2010, 01:12 PM

couple of good ones in there

goldfish · 01-09-2010, 01:34 PM

ok I admit, I chuckled... Once!

Maqua · 01-09-2010, 01:42 PM

Good ones

Catalyst · 01-09-2010, 06:30 PM

Too funny my mom will love these

fatfoo · 01-09-2010, 08:19 PM

Here's a joke from me:

Why did the father beat his child?
Perhaps his temper wasn't mild.

Spunky · 01-09-2010, 08:29 PM

Heh heh,some of those made me laugh

2MuchMark · 01-09-2010, 11:09 PM

(Q): What's green, and makes alot of noise?
(A): A Thundering herd of pickles.

zing!

kaysworld · 01-10-2010, 05:32 AM

I loved the Tom Jones one !!

CaptainHowdy · 01-10-2010, 06:24 AM

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahaha!

woj · 01-10-2010, 08:06 AM

some good stuff there

Iron Fist · 01-10-2010, 09:44 AM

Good stuff...

01-09-2010, 01:01 PM	#1
BFT3K Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Narnia Posts: 10,764	Some Silly Saturday Jokes For You! 1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent. 2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything." 3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted. 4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra. 5.. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road." 6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?" 7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not Unusual." 8. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either. 9. DejaMoo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before. 10. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any. 11. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!" 12. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel. 13. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. 14. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!" 15. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too. 16. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer." 17. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him "Juan" Year's later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal." 18. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him. (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good)..... A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. 19.. Two blondes walked into a building. (You'd have thought one of them would have seen it!) 20. And finally, there was the person who posted twenty different jokes on GFY, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did

01-09-2010, 01:12 PM	#2
Loch Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Canada Posts: 7,674	couple of good ones in there __________________ Contact us for Beta store access (4000 HD/SD productions) - Editing - Encoding/Post production ICQ - 277 862 930 E-mail casper /@/ cool-content.com

01-09-2010, 01:34 PM	#3
goldfish Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Somewhere east of the Mississippi Posts: 723	ok I admit, I chuckled... Once! __________________ ICQ: 566990329 "There is no rest for the wicked... and porn purveyors!

01-09-2010, 01:42 PM	#4
Maqua E.M.O Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Possum Lodge Posts: 2,031	Good ones __________________ T.G.D *Two Guys Domains, In business since 1997, EMO Domains, your one stop domain shop, Twitter @maquaed*, Keep your stick on the ice!!

01-09-2010, 08:19 PM	#6
fatfoo ICQ:649699063 Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 27,763	Here's a joke from me: Why did the father beat his child? Perhaps his temper wasn't mild. __________________ Send me an email: [email protected]

01-09-2010, 06:30 PM	#5
Catalyst Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Vegas Posts: 3,243	Too funny my mom will love these

01-09-2010, 08:29 PM	#7
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,949	Heh heh,some of those made me laugh __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

01-09-2010, 11:09 PM	#8
2MuchMark Videochat Solutions Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Canada Posts: 49,499	(Q): What's green, and makes alot of noise? (A): A Thundering herd of pickles. zing! __________________ Custom Coding \| Videochat Solutions \| Age Verification \| IT Help & Support www.2Much.net

01-10-2010, 05:32 AM	#9
kaysworld Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 71	I loved the Tom Jones one !! __________________ https://www.blogger.com/start start blogging

01-10-2010, 06:24 AM	#10
CaptainHowdy Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Happy in the dark. Posts: 93,682	Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahaha! __________________ Vacares - Web Hosting, Domains, O365, Security & More - Paxum and BTC Accepted Windows VPS now available Great for TSS, Nifty Stats, remote work, virtual assistants, etc.

01-10-2010, 08:06 AM	#11
woj <&(©¿©)&> Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Chicago Posts: 47,882	some good stuff there __________________ Custom Software Development, email: woj#at#wojfun#.#com to discuss details or skype: wojl2000 or gchat: wojfun or telegram: wojl2000 Affiliate program tools: Hosted Galleries Manager Banner Manager Video Manager Wordpress Affiliate Plugin Pic/Movie of the Day Fansign Generator Zip Manager

01-10-2010, 09:44 AM	#12
Iron Fist Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 23,400	Good stuff... __________________ i like waffles