Can anyone here write a Christmas Poem for my site? $10 - GoFuckYourself.com

12-24-2009, 02:22 PM

for my social/hookup website, I want to send out a christmas poem
Something like

Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the site
No one was hooking up
not even a bite

or something like that. something really cute.
if you write a really good one Ill send you $10 via paypal or epassporte.

Fat Panda · 12-24-2009, 02:24 PM

$100 8chars

SatansCandy · 12-24-2009, 03:12 PM

"Marriage is honorable and the bed undefiled but whoremongers God will judge" - Hebrews 13

GrouchyAdmin · 12-24-2009, 03:14 PM

on the day before christmas, teh ghey offered me: ten bucks for a poem so I told him to stick it in his anal cavityyy

harvey · 12-24-2009, 03:51 PM

So Christmas is here
it's such a joyful day
and as much as you deny it
you're still a closet gay

Did I win?

BV · 12-24-2009, 04:05 PM

On the night before Christmas,

Old mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone.

As she bent over, Rover drove her, and gave her a bone of his own.

bloggerz · 12-24-2009, 04:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BV

On the night before Christmas,

Old mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone.

As she bent over, Rover drove her, and gave her a bone of his own.

winner

fris · 12-24-2009, 05:16 PM

Quote:

Christmas time.
Valium and wine.
Children indulging in serious crime.
With dad on the weed and mom high on crack.
Christmas is magic when your family is black

Quote:

Last christmas I got some toy soldiers,
To play with when I'm in bed,
But I got bored with my seargents and majors,
So I played with my privates instead.

dont know if thats your style :p

NetHorse · 12-24-2009, 05:30 PM

fatfoo · 12-24-2009, 06:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NetHorse

A tumor is a funny thing. It really is.

GrouchyAdmin · 12-24-2009, 06:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fatfoo

A tumor is a funny thing. It really is.

A tumor is funnier than, but otherwise indistiguishable from Achewood.

fris · 12-24-2009, 07:01 PM

Quote:

'Twas the night after Christmas, his duties were done.
Now Santa was looking to have him some fun.
His stockings were flung on the floor and the chair,
And over the mantle his used underwear.
Mrs. Claus was as nervous as a blushing school girl.
Watching as Santa's desire did unfurl.
"Oh take me, you big boy!" she started to shout.
And Santa responded by whipping it out.
Santa arose with a big booming clatter.
He was horny as hell, his dick growing fatter.
"Fuck Donner and Blitzen, the elves and the toys.
Show me what comes to very bad boys."
From the front and the back, he gave her a fuck,
And squeezed her big boobies to bring him good luck.
His face was all red. His heart threatened to stall,
As his pearly white semen splattered the wall.
"Oh Santa," she cried, with moans of delight.
"Boys need to be naughty, to have a good night."

hoe hoe hoe!

12-24-2009, 09:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BV

On the night before Christmas,

Old mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone.

As she bent over, Rover drove her, and gave her a bone of his own.

cute
and kinda gross mental vision tho

12-24-2009, 09:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fris

hoe hoe hoe!

great!
but its a gay site, i should have mentioned that ;/
oh well fuck it, too late now to send out a poem for christmas

Luscious Media · 12-24-2009, 10:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BV

On the night before Christmas,

Old mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone.

As she bent over, Rover drove her, and gave her a bone of his own.

ADC...priceless...few more

Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie
Jerked off in his girlfriend's eye
When her eye was dry and shut
Georgie fucked that one-eyed slut

Hickory Dickory Dock
Some chick was sucking my cock
The clock struck two
I dropped my goo
I dumped the bitch on the next block.

Jack and Jill went up the hill
Both with a buck and a quarter
Jill came down with two-fifty
That fuckin' whore.

Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
Trim that pussy it's too damn hairy

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and whey.
Along came a spider,
Who sat down beside her
And said, "Hey, what's in the bowl, bitch?"

Little Bo Peep fucked her sheep
Blew a horse, licked his feet
She ate his ass so very nice
Tongued his balls not once but twice

AaronM · 12-24-2009, 11:03 PM

Where the fuck’s Santa?
I’ve been up all night.
No Dasher, no Dancer,
not a reindeer in sight.

I’ve baked cookies, poured milk,
and wrapped presents galore
but the fat man ain’t here
and it’s quarter past four.

I said WHERE THE FUCK’S SANTA?
Time just keeps ticking along.
In just a few minutes,
I’mma spark up this bong.

Five minutes and counting,
he’d want me to wait.
I hear him on the roof!
The timing is great!

Down the chimney came Santa,
with one hell of a thud.
Then he made for my stocking
and filled it with with bud.

You jolly old bastard
I know you don’t smoke
but the cookies are baked with hasheesh
and dusted with coke.

The plate full of cookies,
he dumped in his sack.
Then scoffed at the milk
and asked for some Jack.

Three fingers and neat
served in a Ball jar.
My dishes are dirty
fuck you, it’s a free bar.

My Jack he did drink
then asked for some more
so I filled up his jar
and showed him the door.

“Tooth the schimney” he slurred
as he spun us around.
Then he tossed me a package
and said “There’s a pound.”

In a flash he was gone,
with a tug on his ear.
Then sat down did I,
and finished my beer.

Now it’s 4:20am
and I’ve loaded up Santa’s Thai Stick.
3 monster hits I inhaled,
then passed out holding my Bic.

POed-poster · 12-24-2009, 11:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SatansCandy

"Marriage is honorable and the bed undefiled but whoremongers God will judge" - Hebrews 13

That'll go over like a led zeppelin!
--Keith Moon

NetHorse · 12-24-2009, 11:16 PM

I farted, it smells like slim jims and sour cream.

--Nethorse

baddog · 12-24-2009, 11:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AaronM

Where the fuck?s Santa?
I?ve been up all night.
No Dasher, no Dancer,
not a reindeer in sight.

I?ve baked cookies, poured milk,
and wrapped presents galore
but the fat man ain?t here
and it?s quarter past four.

I said WHERE THE FUCK?S SANTA?
Time just keeps ticking along.
In just a few minutes,
I?mma spark up this bong.

Five minutes and counting,
he?d want me to wait.
I hear him on the roof!
The timing is great!

Down the chimney came Santa,
with one hell of a thud.
Then he made for my stocking
and filled it with with bud.

You jolly old bastard
I know you don?t smoke
but the cookies are baked with hasheesh
and dusted with coke.

The plate full of cookies,
he dumped in his sack.
Then scoffed at the milk
and asked for some Jack.

Three fingers and neat
served in a Ball jar.
My dishes are dirty
fuck you, it?s a free bar.

My Jack he did drink
then asked for some more
so I filled up his jar
and showed him the door.

?Tooth the schimney? he slurred
as he spun us around.
Then he tossed me a package
and said ?There?s a pound.?

In a flash he was gone,
with a tug on his ear.
Then sat down did I,
and finished my beer.

Now it?s 4:20am
and I?ve loaded up Santa?s Thai Stick.
3 monster hits I inhaled,
then passed out holding my Bic.

But I heard him exclaim, as he flew out of sight,
"Nachos to all, and to all a good-night!"

Well done sir. Merry Christmas to you and Dom.

AaronM · 12-24-2009, 11:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by baddog

But I heard him exclaim, as he flew out of sight,
"Nachos to all, and to all a good-night!"

Well done sir. Merry Christmas to you and Dom.

Ah yes....I forgot the nachos.

Nice touch my man.

Enjoy your Christmas.

digitaldivas · 12-25-2009, 02:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fatfoo

A tumor is a funny thing. It really is.

lol, I knew your ass would be in here

12-24-2009, 02:22 PM	#1
teh ghey Guest Posts: n/a	Can anyone here write a Christmas Poem for my site? $10 for my social/hookup website, I want to send out a christmas poem Something like Twas the night before Christmas And all through the site No one was hooking up not even a bite or something like that. something really cute. if you write a really good one Ill send you $10 via paypal or epassporte.

12-24-2009, 03:12 PM	#3
SatansCandy Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 235	"Marriage is honorable and the bed undefiled but whoremongers God will judge" - Hebrews 13 __________________ "Look You Deaf and Blind" - Isaiah 42 "The tares are the children of Satan, the Father of Lust. Bind the tares and burn them. Cast them into the everlasting fire" - Jesus

12-24-2009, 03:14 PM	#4
GrouchyAdmin Now choke yourself! Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 12,085	on the day before christmas, teh ghey offered me: ten bucks for a poem so I told him to stick it in his anal cavityyy __________________ AIM: GrouchyGfy

12-24-2009, 03:51 PM	#5
harvey Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: 127.0.0.1 Posts: 9,266	So Christmas is here it's such a joyful day and as much as you deny it you're still a closet gay Did I win? __________________ This post is endorsed by CIA, KGB, MI6, the Mafia, Illuminati, Kim Jong Il, Worldwide Ninjas Association, Klingon Empire and lolcats. Don't mess around with it, just accept it and embrace the truth

12-24-2009, 05:30 PM	#9
NetHorse Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Chicago Posts: 3,526	__________________ ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐ ICQ # 427013273

12-24-2009, 02:24 PM	#2
Fat Panda Porn is Dead. Move along. Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 13,295	$100 8chars

12-24-2009, 04:05 PM	#6
BV wtf Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Bikini State, FL USA Posts: 10,914	On the night before Christmas, Old mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone. As she bent over, Rover drove her, and gave her a bone of his own.

12-24-2009, 11:03 PM	#16
AaronM Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: ┌∩┐ ◣_◢ ┌∩┐ Posts: 46,909	Where the fuck’s Santa? I’ve been up all night. No Dasher, no Dancer, not a reindeer in sight. I’ve baked cookies, poured milk, and wrapped presents galore but the fat man ain’t here and it’s quarter past four. I said WHERE THE FUCK’S SANTA? Time just keeps ticking along. In just a few minutes, I’mma spark up this bong. Five minutes and counting, he’d want me to wait. I hear him on the roof! The timing is great! Down the chimney came Santa, with one hell of a thud. Then he made for my stocking and filled it with with bud. You jolly old bastard I know you don’t smoke but the cookies are baked with hasheesh and dusted with coke. The plate full of cookies, he dumped in his sack. Then scoffed at the milk and asked for some Jack. Three fingers and neat served in a Ball jar. My dishes are dirty fuck you, it’s a free bar. My Jack he did drink then asked for some more so I filled up his jar and showed him the door. “Tooth the schimney” he slurred as he spun us around. Then he tossed me a package and said “There’s a pound.” In a flash he was gone, with a tug on his ear. Then sat down did I, and finished my beer. Now it’s 4:20am and I’ve loaded up Santa’s Thai Stick. 3 monster hits I inhaled, then passed out holding my Bic.

12-24-2009, 11:16 PM	#18
NetHorse Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Chicago Posts: 3,526	I farted, it smells like slim jims and sour cream. --Nethorse __________________ ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐ ICQ # 427013273