Retired Cop moves to Alaska....

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  • Martin
    "Assassins"
    • Dec 2001
    • 17278

    #1

    Retired Cop moves to Alaska....

    Dick had
    been in Police work
    for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress, he quits his job
    and
    buys 50 acres of
    land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible.
    He sees the postman once a week and gets
    groceries once a
    month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet.

    After six months or so
    of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it
    and
    a huge, bearded
    man is standing there.

    'Name's Cliff, your neighbour from forty
    miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night. Thought you
    might like to come at about 5:00....'

    'Great', says Rick, 'after
    six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you.'


    As Cliff is leaving, he stops. 'Gotta warn you. Be some
    drinking'.'

    'Not a problem' says Rick.. 'After 25
    years
    in the business, I
    can drink with the best of 'em'.

    Again, the big man starts to leave
    and stops. ' More 'n' likely gonna be some fighting' too.'

    'Well, I
    get along with people, I'll be all right! I'll be there. Thanks
    again.'

    'More'n likely be some wild sex, too,'

    'Now that's
    really not a problem' says Rick, warming to the idea. 'I've been all alone
    for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I
    wear?'

    'Don't much
    matter. Just gonna be the two of
    us.'
  • WebairMetz
    Confirmed User
    • Jul 2009
    • 920

    #2
    roflmao funny


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    • Axelo9
      Confirmed User
      • Aug 2007
      • 275

      #3
      lmao

      ICQ#622263663 :Axel

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      • L-Pink
        working on my tan
        • Mar 2005
        • 39151

        #4
        great lol


        .

        Comment

        • David!
          By the wrath of Agamemnon
          • Apr 2004
          • 6501

          #5
          .

          Comment

          • okny
            Confirmed User
            • Aug 2002
            • 5761

            #6
            I wasn't expecting the last line, good one
            Aim: okny
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            • bloggerz
              Too lazy to set a custom title
              • Dec 2006
              • 16255

              #7
              lol good one
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              • Mutt
                Too lazy to set a custom title
                • Sep 2002
                • 34431

                #8
                hehee very good
                I moved my sites to Vacares Hosting. I've saved money, my hair is thicker, lost some weight too! Thanks Sly!

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                • Bryan G
                  Confirmed User
                  • Aug 2005
                  • 8338

                  #9
                  Lol!!!!!
                  Bryan
                  skype: bryan.glass3 | ICQ 302999591

                  Comment

                  • KILL_FRENZY
                    Confirmed User
                    • Aug 2006
                    • 6184

                    #10
                    Shit that's funny. Better tell it to someone before I forget it. Thanks for the laughs

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                    • u-Bob
                      there's no $$$ in porn
                      • Jul 2005
                      • 33063

                      #11
                      hehe

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                      • LeRoy
                        Porn Pusher
                        • Jul 2007
                        • 13364

                        #12
                        nice one
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                        • baddog
                          So Fucking Banned
                          • Apr 2001
                          • 107089

                          #13
                          Joke is older than half the people on this board. Older than the OP for sure.

                          Comment

                          • AsianDivaGirlsWebDude
                            Purveyor, Fine Asian Porn
                            • Jul 2004
                            • 38323

                            #14
                            A man gets powerful lonely out in the wilderness...

                            Okay, here's a quickie:

                            A young man walks into a bar in Alaska. After many drinks, he announces to the whole bar that he is proud to be a new Alaskan.

                            One of the old timers at the bar laughs at him and asks him if he has gone through the
                            "Ritual" yet. The lad asks what the "ritual" entails. The old timer says,"Well, to be an Alaskan, you have to kill a Polar Bear and fuck an Eskimo."

                            The young man says that he hasn't done either yet, so he and the old timer continue to drink heavily together and the old timer answers his questions about the "Ritual". Afterwards, the young man stands up and wobbles out of the bar drunk as can be.

                            About four hours later, he struggles back into the bar, all scratched and cut up. He summons all of his strength and shouts out "Where is this damn Eskimo I have to kill?"

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                            • WebairDanny
                              Registered User
                              • Aug 2009
                              • 64

                              #15
                              hahaha....good one =)
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                              • SleazyDream
                                I'm here for SPORT
                                • Jul 2001
                                • 41470

                                #16
                                buuuuuuhahahahahahahahaha
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                                • HomerSimpson
                                  Too lazy to set a custom title
                                  • Sep 2005
                                  • 13826

                                  #17
                                  hahaha good one...
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                                  • Sid70
                                    Downshifter
                                    • Dec 2002
                                    • 16413

                                    #18
                                    good one.
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                                    • DaddyHalbucks
                                      A freakin' legend!
                                      • Feb 2004
                                      • 18975

                                      #19
                                      Very funny, thanks!
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                                      • AK
                                        MadZuma
                                        • Nov 2003
                                        • 6436

                                        #20
                                        hahahaha that is funny
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                                        • junkiefans
                                          Confirmed User
                                          • Dec 2007
                                          • 100

                                          #21
                                          lol

                                          great

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                                          • Angry Jew Cat - Banned for Life
                                            (felis madjewicus)
                                            • Jul 2006
                                            • 20368

                                            #22

                                            Comment

                                            • Pleasurepays
                                              BANNED - SUPPORTING TUBES
                                              • Aug 2002
                                              • 11913

                                              #23
                                              Originally posted by okny
                                              I wasn't expecting the last line, good one
                                              must be exciting.. your first joke.

                                              hint... usually the last line is unexpected


                                              you'll enjoy jokes now that you know the secret.
                                              Last edited by Pleasurepays; 12-15-2009, 06:19 PM.

                                              Comment

                                              • Deej
                                                I make pixels work
                                                • Jun 2005
                                                • 24386

                                                #24
                                                Yea ive heard quite a few variations of this joke... but for sure a good one for first timers...

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                                                • AsianDivaGirlsWebDude
                                                  Purveyor, Fine Asian Porn
                                                  • Jul 2004
                                                  • 38323

                                                  #25
                                                  Originally posted by Pleasurepays
                                                  must be exciting.. your first joke.

                                                  hint... usually the last line is unexpected


                                                  you'll enjoy jokes now that you know the secret.
                                                  Aw, take it easy on him...



                                                  I used to think that a punchline is what you stand in at parties.

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                                                  • Mutt
                                                    Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                    • Sep 2002
                                                    • 34431

                                                    #26
                                                    Originally posted by Pleasurepays
                                                    must be exciting.. your first joke.

                                                    hint... usually the last line is unexpected


                                                    you'll enjoy jokes now that you know the secret.
                                                    I moved my sites to Vacares Hosting. I've saved money, my hair is thicker, lost some weight too! Thanks Sly!

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                                                    • Fat Panda
                                                      Porn is Dead. Move along.
                                                      • Aug 2006
                                                      • 13296

                                                      #27
                                                      maybe palin will be there

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                                                      • fatfoo
                                                        ICQ:649699063
                                                        • Mar 2003
                                                        • 27763

                                                        #28
                                                        If Sarah Palin knocked on his door it would be hotter.
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                                                        • themadwriter
                                                          Confirmed User
                                                          • Aug 2009
                                                          • 1427

                                                          #29
                                                          made for a real good morning laugh! Thanks!
                                                          icq : 591247121
                                                          xxxcopywriters.com

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                                                          • Bird
                                                            Confirmed User
                                                            • Jan 2005
                                                            • 4365

                                                            #30
                                                            wasn't expecting a joke. that was funny.
                                                            ICQ:268731675

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                                                            • Martin
                                                              "Assassins"
                                                              • Dec 2001
                                                              • 17278

                                                              #31
                                                              Yeah my buddy sent me that one. I thought it was pretty good too

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                                                              • Serial Pervert
                                                                Confirmed User
                                                                • Mar 2008
                                                                • 2666

                                                                #32
                                                                lol! Nice!

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                                                                • tranza
                                                                  ICQ: 197-556-237
                                                                  • Jun 2003
                                                                  • 57559

                                                                  #33
                                                                  Hahaha...nice ones!
                                                                  I'm just a newbie.

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                                                                  • GetSCORECash
                                                                    Confirmed User
                                                                    • Mar 2008
                                                                    • 5527

                                                                    #34
                                                                    That's great! lol
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                                                                    • John-ACWM
                                                                      Work Work Work
                                                                      • Nov 2008
                                                                      • 20060

                                                                      #35
                                                                      solitude is bad

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                                                                      • JFK
                                                                        FUBAR the ORIGINATOR
                                                                        • Jan 2002
                                                                        • 67373

                                                                        #36
                                                                        Originally posted by baddog
                                                                        Joke is older than half the people on this board. Older than the OP for sure.
                                                                        indeed it is

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                                                                        • Cyber Fucker
                                                                          Hmm
                                                                          • Sep 2005
                                                                          • 12642

                                                                          #37
                                                                          lol

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