Blow job Etiquette (by a woman) - GoFuckYourself.com

Azoy? · 10-14-2009, 09:58 AM

1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.

2. Extension to rule #1- So if you get one, be grateful.

3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw; it is not standard practice to cum on someone's face.

4. Extension to rule #3- No I DON'T have to swallow.

5. My ears are NOT handles.

6. Extension to rule#5- do not push on the top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really WANT puke on your dick?

7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get it is NEVER OK to fart.

8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" get it through your head - I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you, just YOU can't have sex right now.

9. Extension to #8- "Blue balls" might have worked on high school girls- if you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my idol.

10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you.

11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the future.

12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.

13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the protein content.

14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV

15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow jobs often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either sympathize or brag.

16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have to "kiss it good morning".

A Man's Rebuttal

1. First of all, yes you are obligated to do it. If you don't we will find someone (younger, prettier, and dirtier) who will.

2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon of cream is a hell of a lot easier than licking a dead fish.

3. You want to talk about farting? does the word "queef" mean anything to you?

4. I will use your ears as I see fit. Don't worry about it and be thankful I'm not pulling your hair.

5. When you're on period, stuffing something in your mouth is the only way to stop your bitching and moaning. Suck it up.

6. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days, you need all the fluids you can get, trust me.

7. You bitch about the taste , but trust me when I tell you that we get the shit end of the stick in flavor country.

8. At least there is no danger of a dick bleeding in your mouth.

9. Play with the balls.

10. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.

11. Caress the ass, too. We like that.

12. Make hay when the sun shines. It's "wide awake" in the morning now, but when you get old and fat and looking for some action, I gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep".

13. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on your face, now will you?

Webmistress - Doreen · 10-14-2009, 10:24 AM

lol good find. thanks for sharing

SpyCam · 10-14-2009, 10:30 AM

good one!

Raf1 · 10-14-2009, 11:09 AM

seen something similar before. Good one

CaptainHowdy · 10-14-2009, 11:10 AM

Made me want a man blowjob...

Iron Fist · 10-14-2009, 11:33 AM

An oldie but a goodie.

Scott McD · 10-14-2009, 11:34 AM

Just suck that cock bitch!!!

Wilsy · 10-14-2009, 11:45 AM

Hahaha get it in your mouth lol

TopbucksMatt · 10-15-2009, 08:18 AM

I stopped reading at rule #1.

J. Falcon · 10-15-2009, 08:32 AM

Must have seen this posted here half a dozen times already.

Loch · 10-15-2009, 08:41 AM

u-Bob · 10-15-2009, 09:24 AM

old but funny

seeric · 10-15-2009, 09:32 AM

date foreign women. problem solved.

MrCain · 10-15-2009, 09:38 AM

LMAO

tranza · 10-15-2009, 09:50 AM

That is old but still a great one!

WalkerTR · 10-15-2009, 09:50 AM

LMAO

Deesnuts · 10-15-2009, 01:09 PM

thats funny

10-14-2009, 11:09 AM	#4
Raf1 Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Writer for hire :) Gallery descriptions, articles, blog posts etc. ICQ: 209 356 106 Posts: 12,117	seen something similar before. Good one __________________ 80% Revshare or 30$ PPS on $1 trials: 200 Niches = Vidz.com Galleries / FLVs / Embeds 3 & 5mins FLVs \| RSS & Tube Feeds \| Matching Thumbs \| FLV Browser & Exporter \| No Prechecked Xsales >> Mobile Redirection Script: mobile.vidz.com also paying 80% net Lifetime << ICQ: 198-394-557

10-14-2009, 11:33 AM	#6
Iron Fist Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 23,400	An oldie but a goodie. __________________ i like waffles

10-14-2009, 11:34 AM	#7
Scott McD Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Glasgow, Scotland Posts: 67,795	Just suck that cock bitch!!! __________________ I Buy My High Quality Traffic Here, You Should Too!

10-15-2009, 08:18 AM	#9
TopbucksMatt Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 111	I stopped reading at rule #1. __________________ Matt Mobile Marketing / Community Manager www.Topbucksmobile.com email: [email protected] Twitter: @pinkvisual

10-15-2009, 08:32 AM	#10
J. Falcon www.AdultCopywriters.com Industry Role: Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 31,618	Must have seen this posted here half a dozen times already. __________________ Adult Copywriters SEO Content for Porn Sites sales at adultcopywriters dot com

10-14-2009, 09:58 AM	#1
Azoy? Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 2,178	Blow job Etiquette (by a woman) 1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it. 2. Extension to rule #1- So if you get one, be grateful. 3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw; it is not standard practice to cum on someone's face. 4. Extension to rule #3- No I DON'T have to swallow. 5. My ears are NOT handles. 6. Extension to rule#5- do not push on the top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really WANT puke on your dick? 7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get it is NEVER OK to fart. 8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" get it through your head - I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you, just YOU can't have sex right now. 9. Extension to #8- "Blue balls" might have worked on high school girls- if you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my idol. 10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you. 11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the future. 12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude. 13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the protein content. 14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV 15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow jobs often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either sympathize or brag. 16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have to "kiss it good morning". A Man's Rebuttal 1. First of all, yes you are obligated to do it. If you don't we will find someone (younger, prettier, and dirtier) who will. 2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon of cream is a hell of a lot easier than licking a dead fish. 3. You want to talk about farting? does the word "queef" mean anything to you? 4. I will use your ears as I see fit. Don't worry about it and be thankful I'm not pulling your hair. 5. When you're on period, stuffing something in your mouth is the only way to stop your bitching and moaning. Suck it up. 6. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days, you need all the fluids you can get, trust me. 7. You bitch about the taste , but trust me when I tell you that we get the shit end of the stick in flavor country. 8. At least there is no danger of a dick bleeding in your mouth. 9. Play with the balls. 10. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better. 11. Caress the ass, too. We like that. 12. Make hay when the sun shines. It's "wide awake" in the morning now, but when you get old and fat and looking for some action, I gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep". 13. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on your face, now will you? __________________

10-14-2009, 10:24 AM	#2
Webmistress - Doreen Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Cloud nine Posts: 513	lol good find. thanks for sharing __________________ ICQ: 352784711 MSN: [email protected] AIM: doreencjtraffic YM: doreen_cjtraffic Over 3,900 Adult DVDs!

10-14-2009, 10:30 AM	#3
SpyCam PoiSEO.com Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: PoiSEO.com Posts: 1,201	good one!

10-14-2009, 11:10 AM	#5
CaptainHowdy Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Happy in the dark. Posts: 93,575	Made me want a man blowjob...

10-14-2009, 11:45 AM	#8
Wilsy Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: UK Posts: 1,865	Hahaha get it in your mouth lol

10-15-2009, 08:41 AM	#11
Loch Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Canada Posts: 7,674	__________________ Contact us for Beta store access (4000 HD/SD productions) - Editing - Encoding/Post production ICQ - 277 862 930 E-mail casper /@/ cool-content.com

10-15-2009, 09:24 AM	#12
u-Bob there's no $$$ in porn Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: icq: 195./568.-230 (btw: not getting offline msgs) Posts: 33,063	old but funny

10-15-2009, 09:32 AM	#13
seeric .......... Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: .......... Posts: 41,917	date foreign women. problem solved.

10-15-2009, 09:38 AM	#14
MrCain Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 3,332	LMAO __________________ Sigmund

10-15-2009, 09:50 AM	#15
tranza ICQ: 197-556-237 Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: BRASIL !!! Posts: 57,559	That is old but still a great one! __________________ I'm just a newbie.

10-15-2009, 09:50 AM	#16
WalkerTR Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 1,646	LMAO __________________ Blog Commenting Ninja: Special offer: $47.

10-15-2009, 01:09 PM	#17
Deesnuts Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 2,792	thats funny __________________