did i win?

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early.
"Hey, girls," says the brunette, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know."

So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss! She quietly sneaks out of the house and returns at her normal time.

"That was fun," says the brunette. "We should do it again sometime."

"No way," says the blonde. "I almost got caught."

no, i won

you googled those :P

j/k

HAHAHAHAH YES IM DRUNK AGAIN. LETS POST JOKES AGAIN GUYS!

DARKJEDI IS ON #1!!!

What the hell - coffee break for 30 minutes so I'll post a few.

Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader are having a battle on the death star. Their lightsabers crash in an explosion of light and Darthm leans towards Luke and wispers "Luke, I know what you're getting for Christmas!".

Luke, completely confused, backflips away and charges him again. Darth blocks the high blow and grabs Luke by the neck - "LUKE! I know what you're getting for Christmas!".

Luke uses the force and flips away, turns off his saber and looks pissed. "Okay Darth, what the hell are you talking about? How do you know what I'm getting for Christmas?"

"I've felt your presents, Luke..."

C'mon
gimme my design already (i wont ask much, just 2 simple logos)

A beautiful young blonde woman boards a plane to LA with a ticket for the coach section. She looks at the seats in coach and then looks ahead to the first class seats. Seeing that the first class seats appear to be much larger and more comfortable, she moves forward to the last empty one. The flight attendant checks her ticket and tells the woman that her seat is in coach.
The blonde replies, "I'm young, blonde and beautiful, and I'm going to sit here all the way to LA."

Flustered, the flight attendant goes to the cockpit and informs the captain of the blonde problem. The captain goes back and tells the woman that her assigned seat is in coach.

Again, the blonde replies, "I'm young, blonde and beautiful, and I'm going to sit here all the way to LA."

The captain doesn't want to cause a commotion, and so returns to the cockpit to discuss the blonde with the co-pilot. The co-pilot says that he has a blonde girlfriend, and that he can take care of the problem. He then goes back and briefly whispers something into the blonde's ear.

She immediately gets up, says, "Thank you so much," hugs the co-pilot, and rushes back to her seat in the coach section. The pilot and flight attendant, who were watching with rapt attention, together ask the co-pilot what he had said to the woman.

He replies, "I just told her that the first class section isn't going to LA."

A farmer is worried sick. His sheep aren't mating and he's in danger of loosing his flock to old age. No lambs equal no money, so in desperation he goes to the vet.

"Mr Vet," he says. "I'll do anything to get my sheep to mate again! Is there anything you can suggest?".

The vet looks grave and replies in a wisper. "Well, there's one thing. Get up at the crack of dawn every day and put all the ewes in your truck. Drive them to the hill by your land and fuck all the ewes. That will get the rams horny and they'll go for it after you do!".

The farmer looks a little worried, but he's desperate. The next morning his wife wakes him up, he puts the ewes in the truck, drives up to the hill, fucks them all and then drives them back.

He watches them all day and nothing happens, so he does it again the next morning. And the next AND the next.

A month goes by and still the Rams are no interested. One morning his wife wakes him up. "I can't do this anymore. It's not working. The rams just aren't interested".

"I know," says his wife, "but the ewes are in the truck and they're honking the horn..."

HAHAHAHA YES YES BABYS COME ON MORE SHYTE. I WANT TO LAUGH!!!

(DARKJEDI STILL GOT PLACE 1!)

Q: What do you call a redneck in a fancy suit?

A: ''Mr. President.''

YES YES 20 MORE JOKES AND U GET THE DESIGN FOR SURE!!

Did you hear about the man who swallowed his Viagra too slowly?

He got a stiff neck.

The FDA is considering additional warnings on beer and alcohol bottles, such as:

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an asshole.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).

WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Thor.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an disruption in the space-time continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to "disappear."

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.

There was a man sunbathing on a beach naked. A girl came along and pointed to his dingly dangly and asked, "what is that?" He replied, "It's my bird!"
She ran away to play in the sand cheerfully. The man fell asleep. zZzZzZz. Later he woke up in hospital with pain around his groin. He did not know what had gone wrong. He thought back maybe the girl might know, so once he was out of the hospital he asked her.

She replied, "I played with the bird and it spat at me so I cracked its neck, broke its eggs, and burnt its nest."

Q: What does a blonde do when she wakes up?
A: Go home!



Q: What does a blonde say after having multiple orgasms?
A: Great work, team!

I can't think of anymore....
sorry :(
Just read over my jokes again, you'll laugh I promise


:smokin

lol funny stuff. aight dark hit me up on icq