20 Things that never happen on Star Trek...

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  • Voodoo
    ♥ ♦ ♣ ♠
    • Sep 2002
    • 10600

    #1

    20 Things that never happen on Star Trek...

    20 Things that never happen on Star Trek


    1. The Enterprise runs into a mysterious energy field of a type it has encountered several times before.

    2. The Enterprise goes to visit a remote outpost of scientists, who are all perfectly all right.

    3. Some of the crew visit the holodeck, and it works properly.

    4. The crew of the Enterprise discover a totally new lifeform, which later turns out to be a rather well-known old lifeform wearing a funny hat.

    5. The crew of the Enterprise are struck by a mysterious plague, for which the only cure can be found in the well-stocked Enterprise sick-bay.

    6.The Captain has to make a difficult decision about a less advanced people which is made a great deal easier by the Starfleet Prime Directive.

    7. The Enterprise successfully ferries an alien VIP from one place to another without serious incident.

    8. An enigmatic being composed of pure energy attempts to interface to the Enterprise's computer, only to find out that it has forgotten to bring the right leads.

    9. A power surge on the Bridge is rapidly and correctly diagnosed as a faulty capacitor by the highly-trained and competent engineering staff.

    10. The Enterprise is captured by a vastly superior alien intelligence which does not put them on trial.

    11. The Enterprise is captured by a vastly inferior alien intelligence which they easily pacify by offering it some sweeties.

    12. The Enterprise visits an earth-type planet called "Paradise" where everyone is happy all of the time. However, everything is soon revealed to be exactly what it seems.

    13. A major Starfleet emergency breaks out near the Enterprise, but fortunately some other ships in the area are able to deal with it to everyone's satisfaction.

    14. The Enterprise is involved in a bizarre time-warp experience which is in some way unconnected with the Late 20th Century.

    15. Kirk (or Riker) falls in love with a woman on a planet he visits, and isn't tragically separated from her at the end of the episode.

    16. Counsellor Troi states something other than the blindingly obvious.

    17. The warp engines start playing up a bit, but seem to sort themselves out after a while without any intervention from boy genius Wesley Crusher.

    18. Wesley Crusher gets beaten up by his classmates for being a smarmy git, and consequently has a go at making some friends of his own age for a change.

    19. Spock (or Data) is fired from his high-ranking position for not being able to understand the most basic nuances of about one in three sentences that anyone says to him.

    20. Most things that are new or in some way unexpected.

    "I'm selflessly supporting the common good, but only coincidentally looking out for No.1."
  • CunningStunt
    Confirmed User
    • Aug 2006
    • 5594

    #2
    Trekky nerds are funny.

    Comment

    • beerptrol
      Confirmed Asshole
      • Feb 2003
      • 12722

      #3
      You forgot one

      1. William Shatner(Kirk) gave an Emmy award worthy acting performance
      “If we are to have another contest in the near future of our national existence, I predict that the dividing line will not be Mason and Dixon's but between patriotism and intelligence on the one side, and superstition, ambition and ignorance on the other.”
      -- Ulysses S. Grant

      Comment

      • DraX
        Confirmed User
        • Oct 2002
        • 7147

        #4
        Entertaining, thanks for posting.

        Trekkies are cool!
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        • seeandsee
          Check SIG!
          • Mar 2006
          • 50945

          #5
          i like Treks
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          • StaceyJo
            Confirmed User
            • Mar 2008
            • 8960

            #6
            I still like to watch it.
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            • Voodoo
              ♥ ♦ ♣ ♠
              • Sep 2002
              • 10600

              #7
              Anyone ever been to a Star Trek convention?

              "I'm selflessly supporting the common good, but only coincidentally looking out for No.1."

              Comment

              • closer
                Confirmed User
                • Sep 2005
                • 1707

                #8
                Switch to auxiliary power

                Comment

                • StuartD
                  Sofa King Band
                  • Jul 2002
                  • 29903

                  #9
                  How about

                  21: Someone excuses themself to use the washroom.
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                  • Vicious_B
                    Confirmed User
                    • May 2008
                    • 2564

                    #10
                    4. The crew of the Enterprise discover a totally new lifeform, which later turns out to be a rather well-known old lifeform wearing a funny hat.
                    This is the funniest one by far!
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                    Comment

                    • TeenCat
                      Too lazy to set a koala
                      • Jan 2007
                      • 16139

                      #11
                      21. TeenCat never presented there his new shower.

                      6bot
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                      • John-ACWM
                        Work Work Work
                        • Nov 2008
                        • 20060

                        #12
                        That was fun.Good job

                        Comment

                        • Deej
                          I make pixels work
                          • Jun 2005
                          • 24386

                          #13
                          Originally posted by TeenCat
                          21. TeenCat never presented there his new shower.
                          dude seriously?

                          do you have a down syndrome chimpanzee posting for you?

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                          • bushwacker
                            Confirmed User
                            • Jun 2002
                            • 2817

                            #14
                            Originally posted by TeenCat
                            21. TeenCat never presented there his new shower.

                            Comment

                            • CrkMStanz
                              Confirmed User
                              • Jan 2008
                              • 517

                              #15
                              heh

                              all of these things happened continuously, except for whatever it was that teencat said (wtf did he/she say anyways...)

                              they just didn't make episodes out of them, cause that would be ummmm boring

                              i r, and always haz bin, trekkie

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                              • StuartD
                                Sofa King Band
                                • Jul 2002
                                • 29903

                                #16
                                Originally posted by Deej
                                dude seriously?

                                do you have a down syndrome chimpanzee posting for you?
                                Hey, that's not very fair to down syndrome chimpanzees.
                                They would make much more sense than that.
                                This is me on facebook
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                                • RevTKS69
                                  Confirmed User
                                  • Dec 2008
                                  • 231

                                  #17
                                  Originally posted by StuartD
                                  Hey, that's not very fair to down syndrome chimpanzees.
                                  They would make much more sense than that.
                                  Plus, they are currently busy randomly typing letters on keyboards on their way to writing the next Shakespeare play...
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                                  • Rochard
                                    Jägermeister Test Pilot
                                    • Dec 2001
                                    • 75733

                                    #18
                                    Originally posted by Voodoo
                                    Anyone ever been to a Star Trek convention?
                                    My wife has. In full uniform I might add.
                                    Herschel Savage
                                    Brooklyn, NY

                                    Comment

                                    • fuzebox
                                      making it rain
                                      • Oct 2003
                                      • 22351

                                      #19
                                      Originally posted by Voodoo
                                      Anyone ever been to a Star Trek convention?
                                      I went to one when I was 12, I was a big TNG fan then... It was mostly just overpriced merchandise and stuff, although the standup comedy from the guy who plays Quark was kind of funny.

                                      Comment

                                      • TidalWave
                                        Confirmed User
                                        • Sep 2007
                                        • 2706

                                        #20
                                        Obviously the show only revolves around the exciting portions of The Enterprises voyage. Day to day life still occurs, but the show only centers around the adverture worthy situations. Only the most dedicated viewer would be interested in day to day life of the lifeforms living and working on The Enterprise.
                                        www.SwiftNode.com

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                                        • After Shock Media
                                          It's coming look busy
                                          • Mar 2001
                                          • 35299

                                          #21
                                          22. They will encounter living intelligent puddles of jello in the future, yet not a single Mexican.
                                          23. Kirk needing to be treated for some unknown or just plain deadly space s.t.d.
                                          24. To boldly go where no man has gone before, yet it is already mapped, named, and well known.

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                                          • mikeyddddd
                                            Viva la vulva!
                                            • Mar 2003
                                            • 16557

                                            #22



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                                            • $5 submissions
                                              I help you SUCCEED
                                              • Nov 2003
                                              • 32195

                                              #23
                                              Finally got around to see the latest Star Trek movie. One word: IMPRESSIVE. Great writing, great effects, excellent acting. Brings new energy to a franchise that was, frankly, getting tired. Good stuff.

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                                              • voa
                                                Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                • Nov 2006
                                                • 16532

                                                #24
                                                Hah that is some interesting list

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                                                • GregE
                                                  Confirmed User
                                                  • Jul 2004
                                                  • 2704

                                                  #25
                                                  16. Counsellor Troi states something other than the blindingly obvious.


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                                                  • bluemoney
                                                    Confirmed User
                                                    • May 2007
                                                    • 802

                                                    #26
                                                    "Im a Doctor damn it not a pornographer"!
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                                                    • TeenCat
                                                      Too lazy to set a koala
                                                      • Jan 2007
                                                      • 16139

                                                      #27
                                                      Originally posted by Deej
                                                      dude seriously?

                                                      do you have a down syndrome chimpanzee posting for you?
                                                      do i need a syndrome to be another?

                                                      6bot
                                                      / Coming again very soon!
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