8 Life Lessons We Can All Learn From 'Predator' - GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum

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AssPirate

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#1

8 Life Lessons We Can All Learn From 'Predator'

04-29-2009, 07:30 AM

Don't Push Too Many Pencils

When we learn it: Dutch is reunited with his old "friend" and they lock arms to see which one has more pump left in their ridiculously huge biceps.

Why it's important: It's a simple, childish game designed to determine which participant is stronger, but in this context it helps remind us that spending too much time stuck behind a desk will leave you a puny weakling.
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AssPirate

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#2

04-29-2009, 07:31 AM

Do Whatever It Takes To Survive

When we learn it: Tracker, Billy breaks a vine in half and drinks some of the liquid from within, Man Vs. Wild-style.

Why it's important: You don't have to be heading into a jungle to benefit from some general survival skills. Not only will you make your old Boy Scout leader proud, but it might save you from becoming a meal for a hungry bear or ... a particularly sporty alien hunter.
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#3

04-29-2009, 07:31 AM

Sorry.. I'm impatient. I want all 8 right now damnit!
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#4

04-29-2009, 07:32 AM

Payback Is A Bitch

When we learn it: Upon discovering some of their fellow soldiers that have been skinned and strung up, our elite squadron sets out for payback.

Why it's important: Almost everyone loves getting revenge. Luckily, not everyone has access to a huge chaingun like Old Painless, but this scene should make you think twice about the consequences before you do something to piss off someone else.
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#5

04-29-2009, 07:33 AM

Good things to those who wait, Clarice.
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#6

04-29-2009, 07:35 AM

We Ain't Got Time To Bleed

When we learn it: Upon storming the guerrilla camp, Blain takes a bullet. When he's asked about it, he replies simply, "I ain't got time to bleed."

Why it's important: Somehow, we find time to update our Twitter and Facebook pages 30 times a day, while this guy doesn't even have time to bleed. A lot more would get done if we shared his sense of urgency. Even Jesse Ventura today keeps himself constantly occupied by acting completely insane.
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#7

04-29-2009, 07:36 AM

Rank Isn't Always Important

When we learn it: Mac threatens to "bleed" Dillon if he gives up the squads position just one more time.

Why it's important: Though he outranks the rest of the team, Dillon's slip-up put the whole team at risk. Just because you're the boss doesn't mean you get a free pass to suck.
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#8

04-29-2009, 07:37 AM

When In Doubt, Fire Wildly Into The Woods

When we learn it: After his first encounter with the Predator who has just killed his squad-mate, Mac picks up old painless and peppers the nearby shrubbery with bullets. The rest of the team soon joins in.

Why it's important: It takes a whole hell of a lot of bullets, but one finally catches the Predator, spilling some of his blood and providing an important clue. It's not the most efficient model for getting things done, but it's a lot better than sitting back and doing nothing.
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#9

04-29-2009, 07:38 AM

Never Rely On The Help Of Others

When we learn it: The situation is beyond FUBAR, but the superiors refuse to authorize air transport out of the suck.

Why it's important: Self-reliance is a valuable trait to have, whether you're in the jungle or trying to get something on a really high shelf at Home Depot.
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#10

04-29-2009, 07:40 AM

If It Bleeds, We Can Kill It

When we learn it: After having a talk with their female captive, Arnold and Co. set up a series of Home Alone-worthy booby traps to snare their snarly enemy.

Why it's important: All this talk about killing is simply a metaphor for getting things done. With strategy, cooperation and lots of hard work, there really isn't anything that can't be accomplished. It also helps if you bring a bunch of of machine guns.

Thanks to Premier.com for this article.
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#11

04-29-2009, 07:55 AM

Awesome thread! Twittered and quoted for truths
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#12

04-29-2009, 07:57 AM

This thread exhibits hardcore win...

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#13

04-29-2009, 08:14 AM

haha this thread rocks
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#14

04-29-2009, 08:31 AM

Funny thread from a classic movie.
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#15

04-29-2009, 08:46 AM

I love this movie. Nice Silence of The Lambs quote, by the way.
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#16

04-29-2009, 06:54 PM

Great thread might have to pull out the old copy of predator and give it a watch tonight.

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#17

04-29-2009, 06:56 PM

This thread delivered. It was worth the wait.
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#18

04-29-2009, 06:58 PM

i fucking love predator
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#19

04-29-2009, 07:05 PM

I feel so empowered....time to shoot wildly into the jungle

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#20

04-29-2009, 07:15 PM

Originally posted by AssPirate

Good things to those who wait, Clarice.

best laugh gfy has given me in a while, lol
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#21

04-29-2009, 07:27 PM

A friend of mine will not propose to his girlfriend until she watches predator with him and admits to him that she likes it. He's dead serious. Can't say that I blame him, movie rules.
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#22

04-29-2009, 07:42 PM

Watching it right now...

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#23

04-29-2009, 07:44 PM

Originally posted by munki

This thread exhibits hardcore win...

Bunch of slack-jawed faggots around here. This thread will make you a god damned sexual Tyrannosaurus, just like me...

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#24

04-29-2009, 07:57 PM

haha, that was awesome.
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#25

04-29-2009, 10:34 PM

Originally posted by AssPirate

We Ain't Got Time To Bleed

When we learn it: Upon storming the guerrilla camp, Blain takes a bullet. When he's asked about it, he replies simply, "I ain't got time to bleed."

Why it's important: Somehow, we find time to update our Twitter and Facebook pages 30 times a day, while this guy doesn't even have time to bleed. A lot more would get done if we shared his sense of urgency. Even Jesse Ventura today keeps himself constantly occupied by acting completely insane.

tis the best one

Originally posted by jollyperv

A friend of mine will not propose to his girlfriend until she watches predator with him and admits to him that she likes it. He's dead serious. Can't say that I blame him, movie rules.

my sig caught gonoherpasyphilaids and died
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#26

04-30-2009, 12:38 AM

rock and roll...
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#27

05-01-2009, 10:35 AM

Originally posted by AssPirate

We Ain't Got Time To Bleed

When we learn it: Upon storming the guerrilla camp, Blain takes a bullet. When he's asked about it, he replies simply, "I ain't got time to bleed."

Why it's important: Somehow, we find time to update our Twitter and Facebook pages 30 times a day, while this guy doesn't even have time to bleed. A lot more would get done if we shared his sense of urgency. Even Jesse Ventura today keeps himself constantly occupied by acting completely insane.

this whole thread makes me laugh, AP. this one works on so many levels.

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#28

05-01-2009, 10:59 AM

Originally posted by AssPirate

Good things to those who wait, Clarice.

A followup thread with life lessons from Silence of the Lambs would be nice too.
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#29

05-01-2009, 11:12 AM

Originally posted by AssPirate

When In Doubt, Fire Wildly Into The Woods

When we learn it: After his first encounter with the Predator who has just killed his squad-mate, Mac picks up old painless and peppers the nearby shrubbery with bullets. The rest of the team soon joins in.

Why it's important: It takes a whole hell of a lot of bullets, but one finally catches the Predator, spilling some of his blood and providing an important clue. It's not the most efficient model for getting things done, but it's a lot better than sitting back and doing nothing.

From "Predator"????

Bullshit.

I learned that from Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld.

Seen the latest Osama er...I mean "Predator Video"?
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#30

05-01-2009, 11:15 AM

this is great...

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#31

05-01-2009, 12:22 PM

All my life lessons came from PREDATOR 2 actually...

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