When does feelings about someone become obsessive? - GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum

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SleazyDream

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#1

When does feelings about someone become obsessive?

04-20-2009, 12:38 AM

ok

at what point to you diagnose yourself with a mental obsession problem?

ok, say you have something with someone, lets call it a spark.... goes a little somewhere but it ends. No illusions here about that. No blaim, yeah regrets but a firm grasp on reality that it is over for years now.

you have no contact with the person for many years and you know you've moved on with your life. Dated new people, gone though 2 relationships (long term ones) and currently in one...

yet this person comes into your head EVERY SINGLE DAY. yep - YEARS NOW and every single day I think about her. I can't shake it. knew for the first first months it was just normal....but it's YEARS now and not a single day goes by when I don't think about her.

I ask myself questions, like am I crazy, obsessed. Maybe, I don't know. No other girl has had this effect on me.

Do I stalk her, no. I do bump into some info about her here and there but it's rare and I TRY and ignore it but my heart THUMPS whenever I hear anything. I can't controll it. I get a psychological reaction when I get new info about her. My heart has alwasy thumped when in her presence.

it's not like I cut out pictures or save images or anything... just every single day for years now I keep trying to understand how this woman made my heart thump every single time I spoke to her, was around her or heard anything about her. No one ever did that to me before. I have no answers to myself.

I only want the best for her, and I know she went a different path and I honestly feel her happiness is more important than mine so I can't go after this again. No regrets, I did go for it, it didn't work out but I did NOT chicken out and I have no regrets about not taking my chance.

Yet every day I long for that heart thump and a chance to make her happy so I can only pray that she is happy. It's not my place to do anything more than that now.

I know, it's YEARS, I'm fucking wacked. It's obsessive and it feels like I SHOULD be able to let it go.

This is what's sooo weird too, she's wasn't perfect. Yet no matter what happened it didn't change that feeling.

Now I'm come to accept it'll be there in my head. Tried everything I could to shake it, no good. So i've accepted it. And I move on. and that was YEARS ago too..

so here I am, YEARS later..... and she's still there in my head. I judge everyone I've ever dated against her and no other women measures up to how she made me feel.

would I do it again. YES.

now back to my question, looking at all that. I think I may have an obsession problem. Yes I am obsessive, but it's always faded in a few months... can't shake this one so somehow I keep thinking it's something more than just an obsession that keeps popping into my head....

help

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#2

04-20-2009, 01:18 AM

when you start posting about it on internet boards
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#3

04-20-2009, 01:22 AM

when you start crying like a little bitch to the same people you continually profess to hate.
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#4

04-20-2009, 01:25 AM

Another GFY melt down?

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#5

04-20-2009, 02:17 AM

I know how you feel. You should hit her up and see whats up. If you can't get with her then find someone else. Theres plenty of fish out there
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#6

04-20-2009, 02:38 AM

i can haz cheezstalker.
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#7

04-20-2009, 02:58 AM

Originally posted by Pleasurepays

when you start crying like a little bitch to the same people you continually profess to hate.

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#8

04-20-2009, 03:19 AM

If you wake up and your finger is up the person's butthole forcibly, then you might be obsessed.
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#9

04-20-2009, 03:22 AM

Originally posted by Pleasurepays

when you start crying like a little bitch to the same people you continually profess to hate.

Sleazy sounds lonely. He vowed to quit this board but now he's back because he has no one else to talk to.
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#10

04-20-2009, 03:38 AM

Sleazy, you should meet her again. You have probably built up some kind of fantasy picture. The meeting will make you face reality, and burst the illusion. Then you are finally free to move on with your life.
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#11

04-20-2009, 03:41 AM

edit: thought you asked about being totally alone and "obese". not "obsessed".

my bad.
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#12

04-20-2009, 03:42 AM

fuck her... lets go party
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#13

04-20-2009, 03:42 AM

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#14

04-20-2009, 03:54 AM

Originally posted by Zyber

Sleazy, you should meet her again. You have probably built up some kind of fantasy picture. The meeting will make you face reality, and burst the illusion. Then you are finally free to move on with your life.

This is actually the best advice you'll get

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#15

04-20-2009, 03:56 AM

What you have to keep in mind is that the image of her you have in your mind is NOT the real her. This image and her have been disconnected for some time and you have built up the image you have of her basically turning her into a godess. The only way to inflate this is to get intouch with her again. Not as a love object but for other reasons you can think off. Reality will sink in when the image starts looking like the real person again. Been there and it worked for me.

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#16

04-20-2009, 03:57 AM

Originally posted by Zyber

Sleazy, you should put your meat in her again. You have probably built up some kind of fantasy picture. The meeting will make you face reality, and burst the illusion. Then you are finally free to move on with your life.

Corrected for you.

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#17

04-20-2009, 04:13 AM

on a serious note sleazy, you only get one chance to meet with destiny. you will regret it forever if you don't give it one more shot.

"coincidentally" just appear where she is - shoppers drug mart, booster juice, her gynocologist's office - and strike up a conversation and do what you can to rekindle the flame. seeing you all the time will make her wonder also if destiny is at work.
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#18

04-20-2009, 04:34 AM

Originally posted by Pornopat

What you have to keep in mind is that the image of her you have in your mind is NOT the real her. This image and her have been disconnected for some time and you have built up the image you have of her basically turning her into a godess. The only way to inflate this is to get intouch with her again. Not as a love object but for other reasons you can think off. Reality will sink in when the image starts looking like the real person again. Been there and it worked for me.

thanks for the tip, though surely getting in touch is hard if bridges have been burned?
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#19

04-20-2009, 05:06 AM

Originally posted by Manowar

thanks for the tip, though surely getting in touch is hard if bridges have been burned?

Getting in touch does not need to be in a romantic way. In fact that might be the last excuse to get in touch. There are plenty of other possible reasons. Friendship, for old times sake, because you miss her pet or need to talk to her brother who always gave the best financial advice. If you catch my drift.
Bridges seldom get burned. They are often an excuse to stay in a what you think is a safe place. A place where everything romantic is doomed to fail and you feel happy cause at least you know upfront that they will fail...false security.

I have to stop watching Oprah.

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Mrs F.U.B.A.R.

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#20

04-20-2009, 05:50 AM

Sleazy, a couple of things you need to ask yourself before you consider doing anything about this situation

1/ Is she currently in a relationship... one that appears to be stable and happy
2/ Since you said that you are currently in a relationship, is it stable and happy

If the answer is yes to either then you have to consider if she is in a current relationship and is happy why bother, you don't want to mess it up for her as it would not produce good results for you.
And if your current relationship is a happy one are you willing to risk it for something that you have no idea where it will lead.

However if she is not in a relationship at this time and yours isn't truly happy you might want to consider trying to meet up again.
You never know, what didn't work the first time around (maybe just bad timing) might work better the second... after all you are both older and more experienced in life now so things could be different.
Or like has been said here maybe just seeing and talking to her again might make her a little more life sized and finally put to rest the feelings you have for her so that your mind and heart will be open
for someone else... you will be able to have a relationship with no reservations.

Just my opinion. Take it for whatever you think it's worth

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#21

04-20-2009, 06:28 AM

"I only want the best for her, and I know she went a different path and I honestly feel her happiness is more important than mine so I can't go after this again."

Then move on. Love is like a drug, the trick is to find someone that makes you feel the same way or better...

Who says you need to forget or that it's bad to remember? It's not bad to remember those that have had a deep impact on your life. Remember, learn, and live...
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#22

04-20-2009, 06:46 AM

The only prescription...

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#23

04-20-2009, 08:30 AM

Just pay her and get it over with! Your first hooker is always tuff to get over

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#24

04-20-2009, 08:38 AM

Originally posted by Mrs F.U.B.A.R.

Sleazy, a couple of things you need to ask yourself before you consider doing anything about this situation

1/ Is she currently in a relationship... one that appears to be stable and happy
2/ Since you said that you are currently in a relationship, is it stable and happy

If the answer is yes to either then you have to consider if she is in a current relationship and is happy why bother, you don't want to mess it up for her as it would not produce good results for you.
And if your current relationship is a happy one are you willing to risk it for something that you have no idea where it will lead.

However if she is not in a relationship at this time and yours isn't truly happy you might want to consider trying to meet up again.
You never know, what didn't work the first time around (maybe just bad timing) might work better the second... after all you are both older and more experienced in life now so things could be different.
Or like has been said here maybe just seeing and talking to her again might make her a little more life sized and finally put to rest the feelings you have for her so that your mind and heart will be open
for someone else... you will be able to have a relationship with no reservations.

Just my opinion. Take it for whatever you think it's worth

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#25

04-20-2009, 11:13 AM

Originally posted by Mr.Right

Sleazy sounds lonely. He vowed to quit this board but now he's back because he has no one else to talk to.

when did I vow to quit?

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#26

04-20-2009, 11:14 AM

Fuck man, you really are gonna start posting here again? Don't you think there are enough imbeciles already?
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SleazyDream

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#27

04-20-2009, 11:15 AM

Originally posted by Zyber

Sleazy, you should meet her again. You have probably built up some kind of fantasy picture. The meeting will make you face reality, and burst the illusion. Then you are finally free to move on with your life.

see that's been my problem..... I don't put her on a pedestal. I see her faults. I see things about her that I KNOW annoy me, and things I have problems with. The problem is my heart doesn't care. All I want to do is see her smile.

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#28

04-20-2009, 11:16 AM

Originally posted by Pleasurepays

edit: thought you asked about being totally alone and "obese". not "obsessed".

my bad.

no problem - always knew you were an idiot..... it's all good

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#29

04-20-2009, 11:16 AM

Originally posted by Blazed

Corrected for you.

The only time he puts his tiny cock in a girl is if he pays for it and i doubt he's doing all this crying because of a hooker. Hmm...well actually...
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#30

04-20-2009, 11:17 AM

Originally posted by Mr Pheer

fuck her... lets go party

did a LOT of that.... ridiculous amounts of that and other women since too.

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#31

04-20-2009, 11:21 AM

Sleazydream, why do you always give us the impression that all the girls like you and you have women all over the place while everybody here knows your women are paid to fuck. Stop pretending to be some chick magnet. Look in the mirror. There is no girl who would fuck you for free. Maybe a blind one...if she doesn't touch you.
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#32

04-20-2009, 11:21 AM

Originally posted by stevo

"I only want the best for her, and I know she went a different path and I honestly feel her happiness is more important than mine so I can't go after this again."

Then move on. Love is like a drug, the trick is to find someone that makes you feel the same way or better...

Who says you need to forget or that it's bad to remember? It's not bad to remember those that have had a deep impact on your life. Remember, learn, and live...

That's actually seems like wise words.....

notice I said "seems" - mostly cause I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about here....

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#33

04-20-2009, 11:22 AM

Your loneliness makes me happy.

Idiot.
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#34

04-20-2009, 11:45 AM

nice to see Dirty F STILL has a crush on me

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#35

04-20-2009, 11:51 AM

Originally posted by SleazyDream

did a LOT of that.... ridiculous amounts of that and other women since too.

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#36

04-20-2009, 11:57 AM

Originally posted by Pornopat

What you have to keep in mind is that the image of her you have in your mind is NOT the real her. This image and her have been disconnected for some time and you have built up the image you have of her basically turning her into a godess. The only way to inflate this is to get intouch with her again. Not as a love object but for other reasons you can think off. Reality will sink in when the image starts looking like the real person again. Been there and it worked for me.

Great advice

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#37

04-20-2009, 12:01 PM

Originally posted by Mrs F.U.B.A.R.

Sleazy, a couple of things you need to ask yourself before you consider doing anything about this situation

1/ Is she currently in a relationship... one that appears to be stable and happy
2/ Since you said that you are currently in a relationship, is it stable and happy

If the answer is yes to either then you have to consider if she is in a current relationship and is happy why bother, you don't want to mess it up for her as it would not produce good results for you.
And if your current relationship is a happy one are you willing to risk it for something that you have no idea where it will lead.

However if she is not in a relationship at this time and yours isn't truly happy you might want to consider trying to meet up again.
You never know, what didn't work the first time around (maybe just bad timing) might work better the second... after all you are both older and more experienced in life now so things could be different.
Or like has been said here maybe just seeing and talking to her again might make her a little more life sized and finally put to rest the feelings you have for her so that your mind and heart will be open
for someone else... you will be able to have a relationship with no reservations.

Just my opinion. Take it for whatever you think it's worth

well, I have no idea if she's in a relationship or not. Scared that contact initiated from me if she is in one may hurt that in some way so I won't contact. I've probably secretly hoped she would contact (without any expectation from me on anything) somehow, and probably always will hope for that. I guess deep down I'm addicted to that heart thump and she's the only person who ever gave me that feeling.

Honestly I doubt I'll ever be able to put the feeling to rest though. This is where it gets weird. I knew I'd meet her from when I was 10 years old. Saw her face in my head then. I even knew almost exactly what would happen too. Like a vision that was always there with me. I knew the second I saw her, I remember the moment. I stopped dead in my tracks and my heart started thumping. I saw the whole thing play out before hand in my vision and knew I'd be where I am today. Now I'm lost, my vision ended a couple years ago and I fell like I'm walking without a map. Before I always KNEW what would happen, now I got nothing. It's a weird feeling. Now I KNOW that sounds crazy, it sounds crazy to me. I'm a rational guy. I can and have moved forward but I think I'm always gona be left with this hole in me that screams that something is missing.

I'm left thinking that there are some things that can't be explained by science or logic.... although rationally I don't believe that.

maybe what I want is a guiding vision again ........... ????

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#38

04-20-2009, 12:03 PM

Originally posted by BradM

Your loneliness makes me happy.

Idiot.

ummm, not lonely. maybe you should take up reading..... might help....

idiots shouldn't be allowed to use the word idiot. It's like giving a monkey a loaded machine gun and hoping he'll point it at only the enemy.

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#39

04-20-2009, 12:04 PM

Originally posted by SleazyDream

nice to see Dirty F STILL has a crush on me

I see your problem now. Basically all the girls who think you are a big fucking retard translates into them having a crush on you in your imbecile brain.

Ok, that explains things.
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#40

04-20-2009, 12:13 PM

Originally posted by Pornopat

Getting in touch does not need to be in a romantic way. In fact that might be the last excuse to get in touch. There are plenty of other possible reasons. Friendship, for old times sake, because you miss her pet or need to talk to her brother who always gave the best financial advice. If you catch my drift.
Bridges seldom get burned. They are often an excuse to stay in a what you think is a safe place. A place where everything romantic is doomed to fail and you feel happy cause at least you know upfront that they will fail...false security.

I have to stop watching Oprah.

Weird but I know even if it isn't romantic just talking to her will make my heart sing.

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#41

04-20-2009, 12:14 PM

You stop when the police tell you to, obviously.
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#42

04-20-2009, 12:15 PM

Originally posted by Dirty F

I see your problem now. Basically all the girls who think you are a big fucking retard translates into them having a crush on you in your imbecile brain.

Ok, that explains things.

Dirty F is like a monkey with a loaded machine gun who thinks he's killing everyone but we forgot to tell him that he's shooting blanks.

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#43

04-20-2009, 12:15 PM

Originally posted by Socks

You stop when the police tell you to, obviously.

buuuuhahahahahahahahahahahahaha

sweet!

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#44

04-20-2009, 12:17 PM

Originally posted by SleazyDream

Weird but I know even if it isn't romantic just talking to her will make my heart sing.

Singing heart? Seriously?

I have a book to recommend you:
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#45

04-20-2009, 12:18 PM

Or maybe you're more of a swashbuckling individual?
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#46

04-20-2009, 12:19 PM

romance novels is an industry about the same size as porn

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#47

04-20-2009, 12:31 PM

Originally posted by SleazyDream

well, I have no idea if she's in a relationship or not. Scared that contact initiated from me if she is in one may hurt that in some way so I won't contact.

If you found out she was in a relationship (married), it would help you get over your obsession with her, but I get the distinct feeling you don't want to lose your feelings for her even if you can't have her again.

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#48

04-20-2009, 12:33 PM

Originally posted by Mrs F.U.B.A.R.

Sleazy, a couple of things you need to ask yourself before you consider doing anything about this situation

1/ Is she currently in a relationship... one that appears to be stable and happy
2/ Since you said that you are currently in a relationship, is it stable and happy

If the answer is yes to either then you have to consider if she is in a current relationship and is happy why bother, you don't want to mess it up for her as it would not produce good results for you.
And if your current relationship is a happy one are you willing to risk it for something that you have no idea where it will lead.

However if she is not in a relationship at this time and yours isn't truly happy you might want to consider trying to meet up again.
You never know, what didn't work the first time around (maybe just bad timing) might work better the second... after all you are both older and more experienced in life now so things could be different.
Or like has been said here maybe just seeing and talking to her again might make her a little more life sized and finally put to rest the feelings you have for her so that your mind and heart will be open
for someone else... you will be able to have a relationship with no reservations.

Just my opinion. Take it for whatever you think it's worth

Mrs. Fubar RAWKS.

Sleazy: Is this lady anyone we know? Post some pics!
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maxjohan

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#49

04-20-2009, 12:35 PM

Originally posted by SleazyDream

Honestly I doubt I'll ever be able to put the feeling to rest though. This is where it gets weird. I knew I'd meet her from when I was 10 years old. Saw her face in my head then. I even knew almost exactly what would happen too. Like a vision that was always there with me. I knew the second I saw her, I remember the moment. I stopped dead in my tracks and my heart started thumping. I saw the whole thing play out before hand in my vision and knew I'd be where I am today. Now I'm lost, my vision ended a couple years ago and I fell like I'm walking without a map. Before I always KNEW what would happen, now I got nothing. It's a weird feeling. Now I KNOW that sounds crazy, it sounds crazy to me. I'm a rational guy. I can and have moved forward but I think I'm always gona be left with this hole in me that screams that something is missing.

Maybe you just want a real woman Sleazy? Not the porn chicks you seem to hang around with. neverless I dont know your girlfriends past and present. Do you have a love hate relationship to your thoughts towards her, you mentioned she had flaws?

Last edited by maxjohan; 04-20-2009, 12:37 PM.

I went from 100 to 313,000 satoshis in 2 days! Lots of daily freerolls...
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SleazyDream

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Join Date: Jul 2001

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#50

04-20-2009, 12:45 PM

Originally posted by lazycash

If you found out she was in a relationship (married), it would help you get over your obsession with her, but I get the distinct feeling you don't want to lose your feelings for her even if you can't have her again.

i think you may have hit the nail on the head

This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog!

Now read without the word dog.
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