Chuck Norris: "I May Run For President of Texas"

**John.** · 03-12-2009, 08:39 PM

Good man chuck

**uno** · 03-12-2009, 08:39 PM

I knew he was a weirdo when he supported Huckabee.

**Snake Doctor** · 03-12-2009, 08:41 PM

Chuck Norris won't run for President of Texas.

Texas will run for Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris becomes President of Texas, the world will then have 2 superpowers.
Texas, and Chuck Norris.

**Spunky** · 03-12-2009, 08:42 PM

Chuck will be president one day

**fuzzylogic** · 03-12-2009, 08:42 PM

Originally posted by Snake Doctor

Texas will run for Chuck Norris.

**SLOWDOWN ILL CUM TOO FAST** · 03-12-2009, 08:47 PM

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

**CDSmith** · 03-12-2009, 08:50 PM

President Norris.

It's just a matter of when, not if.

**pocketkangaroo** · 03-12-2009, 08:53 PM

Funny how the patriotic guys are the first ones to talk secession when their side loses an election.

**MattO** · 03-12-2009, 08:54 PM

**Ace_luffy** · 03-12-2009, 09:04 PM

Originally posted by MattO

viva

**fuzzylogic** · 03-12-2009, 09:45 PM

is it true that conan obrien's use of the walker ranger lever is responsible for chuck's rise from obscurity?

**Iron Fist** · 03-12-2009, 10:06 PM

Originally posted by SLOWDOWN ILL CUM TOO FAST

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

**Voodoo** · 03-12-2009, 10:09 PM

I'm going to run for King of L.A. County.

**Danny B** · 03-12-2009, 10:43 PM

Originally posted by Snake Doctor

Texas will run for Chuck Norris.

**Angry Jew Cat - Banned for Life** · 03-13-2009, 12:14 AM

ya for chuxas

**ChubbyChecksRob** · 03-13-2009, 12:32 AM

Chuck Norris....

Once ate a live turtle, some hours later he crapped it out and it was six feet tall and new karate. I believe this was the start of the teenage mutant ninja turtles.

**bobby666** · 03-13-2009, 01:44 AM

yeah and free weapons for all

**Splum** · 03-13-2009, 01:51 AM

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Militia

**GatorB** · 03-13-2009, 02:02 AM

I'm not so sure why you guys ge such a hard-on for Norris. He wants prayer in public school, creationism taught in school, the Bible taught in school and is anti-porn.

**stonehammer** · 03-13-2009, 02:08 AM

Originally posted by Snake Doctor

Chuck Norris won't run for President of Texas.

Texas will run for Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris becomes President of Texas, the world will then have 2 superpowers.
Texas, and Chuck Norris.

LOL....how true

**seeandsee** · 03-13-2009, 02:57 AM

Originally posted by Snake Doctor

Texas will run for Chuck Norris.

**fuzzylogic** · 03-13-2009, 09:29 AM

Originally posted by GatorB

I'm not so sure why you guys ge such a hard-on for Norris. He wants prayer in public school, creationism taught in school, the Bible taught in school and is anti-porn.

because people like him are the highest porn consumers!

**_Richard_** · 03-13-2009, 09:39 AM

"Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away."

**PornMD** · 03-13-2009, 11:25 AM

Funny, my nickname for Bush used to be Walker, Texas President (Walker referring to the W). Guess I can't use that now - thanks Chuck.

**Redmanthatcould** · 03-13-2009, 11:33 AM

When running for President of Texas, Chuck Norris' last name was inadvertently spelled with only one R. In response, Chuck Norris put the entire state "on timeout", but placing it in his back pocket.

**PornMD** · 03-13-2009, 11:38 AM

Once, Chuck Norris took a monster dump in Texas. Today, Houston is still thriving.

Lol I suck at making these up.

**notoldschool** · 03-13-2009, 11:40 AM

Chuck Norris is a real retard.

**Redmanthatcould** · 03-13-2009, 11:53 AM

As President of Texas, Chuck Norris made it his first order of business to rid the country of all crime. How? He looped a video clip of a roundhouse kick on all TV stations.

**Maxi Caballero** · 03-13-2009, 11:56 AM

Read this earlier today, still not sure what to think

**jimmy-3-way** · 03-13-2009, 12:02 PM

Originally posted by fuzzylogic

He believes the nation is being taken down the same path by Republicans as Democrats, "just slower," saying "thousands of cell groups" are ready to help in secession. Problem is, Norris may not be able to be Texas president, being a native Oklahoman.

Source: www.star-telegram.com

If Texas really wanted to go I'd volunteer to head down with a Ditch Witch and help cut them loose and push them into the gulf.

(Apologies to LAJ.)

**Snake Doctor** · 03-13-2009, 12:16 PM

**fuzzylogic** · 03-13-2009, 12:34 PM

Originally posted by VS_Jeff

As President of Texas, Chuck Norris made it his first order of business to rid the country of all crime. How? He looped a video clip of a roundhouse kick on all TV stations.

this one is funny.

**John-ACWM** · 03-13-2009, 12:39 PM

Originally posted by Snake Doctor

Chuck Norris won't run for President of Texas.

Texas will run for Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris becomes President of Texas, the world will then have 2 superpowers.
Texas, and Chuck Norris.

**Ayla_SquareTurtle** · 03-13-2009, 12:50 PM

It will never happen. He's an Okie.

**Snake Doctor** · 03-13-2009, 12:54 PM

Originally posted by Ayla_SquareTurtle

It will never happen. He's an Okie.

It'll happen if Chuck wants it to happen.

Chuck Norris cannot predict the future; the future just better fucking do what Chuck Norris says.

**Redmanthatcould** · 03-13-2009, 01:59 PM

As President of Texas, Chuck Norris will make his Chun Kuk Do the official religion, the Desert Eagle .50 the official bird, and his beard will be the official flower.

**seeric** · 03-13-2009, 02:01 PM

chuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**DarkJedi** · 03-13-2009, 02:39 PM

Holy crap, he's serious? I thought it was some sort of joke. Revolution over Obama's presidency?

I take it these people are completely alienated from reality? Every day I'm a little more glad I don't live in America.

did anyone tell Chuck that he's just an actor and not really a kick ass commando? maybe like Reagan he doesn't know this.

**DarkJedi** · 03-13-2009, 02:40 PM

It's like an internet meme creates reality. Obama should be afraid, very afraid.

CHUCK NORRIS ONCE CREATED HIS OWN NATION BECAUSE HE DIDN'T LIKE THE DIRECTION HIS OLD NATION WAS TAKING.

**Puremeds-J** · 03-13-2009, 02:54 PM

**notoldschool** · 03-13-2009, 02:57 PM

Originally posted by Puremeds-J

**Redmanthatcould** · 03-13-2009, 02:57 PM

The big issues President Norris will have to face with Texas are energy & economy. His energy solution is to add a drop of his own blood to each power plant, and to remedy the economic crisis, he is sending each Texan a strand of his own hair.

**fetisher** · 03-13-2009, 03:05 PM

Did old Chucky catch alzheimers by any chance? Sure seems like it to me.

**fuzzylogic** · 03-13-2009, 03:17 PM

Originally posted by VS_Jeff

The big issues President Norris will have to face with Texas are energy & economy. His energy solution is to add a drop of his own blood to each power plant, and to remedy the economic crisis, he is sending each Texan a strand of his own hair.

**EscortBiz** · 03-13-2009, 03:37 PM

Schmuck Norris

**_Richard_** · 03-13-2009, 03:55 PM

Originally posted by VS_Jeff

As President of Texas, Chuck Norris will make his Chun Kuk Do the official religion, the Desert Eagle .50 the official bird, and his beard will be the official flower.

**crockett** · 03-13-2009, 04:11 PM

Humm my name's sake tried to do that once..didn't work out so well for him..

**Redmanthatcould** · 03-13-2009, 05:18 PM

President Norris decided to not sever all ties to the US, by keeping the USD with one minor change: the line "In God We Trust" will be officially changed to "In Chuck We Trust Or Else"

**Redmanthatcould** · 03-13-2009, 05:24 PM

Rather than the traditional inaugural speech, after President Norris was sworn in (left hand over his autobiography, naturally) he bent steel rods with his mind for 15 minutes. Any Texans in attendance that did not applaud were consequently bent as well.

Chuck Norris: "I May Run For President of Texas"

Chuck Norris: "I May Run For President of Texas"

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