I'm out of cream for my coffee. Any information is appreciated.

My god.... How could this be happening to me right now? I know I may have been running low yesterday, but today I only have enough cream for possibly one cup. If I didn't know any better, I would think something much more sinister is in the works with this whole cream incident. How could this be happening to me? Many have asked this question, and it's not happening to me. It's time to go P.I. on this shit and find out what truly devoured all of my delicious coffee creamer. What sort of evil mastermind would expect me to drink coffee without cream in it? That sweet, yummy cream that likes to fuse with my coffee to make a mix of paradise and Santa's reindeer has been taken from me. I will now find out which evil being(s) could have possibly stole this pleasure from me. I can only come up with two entities evil enough to do such a thing.

Gypsy's!

I must find the head gypsy and have them remove the curse which disables my cream goodness.

The Toothfairy

That's right, bitch. I'm onto you. We haven't met for years, but now it's time you get what's coming to you. Sneaking into houses at night? Stealing from little kids? It would have been easy for you to come and take my creamer with your magical pagan powers.

This will be a battle of Evil VS Evil, my fellow board mates. If I don't make it back, I will miss you all.

P.S. This is obviously just a joke. I just woke up and I felt like writing. Not to mention, I really am out of coffee cream.