I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0

[Tjeezers]

To Technical Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialisation, where it monitors all other system activity.

Applications such as Pokernight 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5 andSaturday
Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I can not seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favourite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but un-install does not work on this program.


Can you help me, please? Otherwise, I'm screwed.

Kind Regards,

Harry

-------- ******** 2 hours waiting for a replay, this is what they send.


Dear Harry :

This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT" program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is impossible to un-install, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You can not go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings-Alimony /Child Support."

I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGISE.

In any case avoid excessive use of the "Esc" key because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGISE command before the operating system will return to normal. The system will run smooth as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance. Consider buying addition software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0.

Do not,under any circumstances,install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck
Tech Support

[3M TA3]

classic!!!!

[borked]

Old but always true !

[BradM]

Estimated write date: 1977

[Overload]

lol, simple solution: uninstall Wife 1.0 and
install GF 1.1, 1.2, 1.3 and so on with a
multiple choice boot(y) sequence *grin*

[notime]

haha
lol

[Donfoolio]

sorry you have to roll back, vista is quite broken and we apologize for the inconvenience..

[bobby666]

that's older than my daughter

[dav3]

LOL Harry, I've never heard that one before.

Originally Posted by Overload

lol, simple solution: uninstall Wife 1.0 and
install GF 1.1, 1.2, 1.3 and so on with a
multiple choice boot(y) sequence *grin*

[hypedough]

Get a new secret computer haha

[pornguy]

Originally Posted by BradM

Estimated write date: 1977

You meant to put a 6

[brassmonkey]

Originally Posted by bobby666

that's older than my daughter

hahahahhaha

[CaptainHowdy]

Ahahahahahaha!

[CharlieBrown]

funny, havent seen it before either even thou it seems by the replies thats its been around since i invented the internet

[seeandsee]

hehe i like it!

[woj]

it's been a while since I read it, still funny though

[V_RocKs]

That is 3 minutes I will never get back.

[Just Mike]

thats really good

[mrwilson]

always a good read

[Tjeezers]

26 April will be the date i upgrade mines....

[zoltie]

How the Stock Market works
Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers
that he would buy monkeys for $10 each. The villagers seeing that there were
many monkeys around, went out to the forest, and started catching them. The
man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers
stopped their effort.

He then announced that he would now buy at $20 each. This renewed the efforts of
the villagers and they started Catching monkeys again.

Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their
farms. The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so
little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch
one!

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50! However, since he
had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on his
behalf.

In his absence, the assistant told the villagers, 'Look at all the monkeys
in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35
and when he returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each.'

The villagers rounded up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys.

Then they never saw the man nor his assistant ever again; only monkeys
everywhere!

You now have a better understanding of how the Stock Market works.

[Overload]

Originally Posted by Sex2Have

26 April will be the date i upgrade mines....

just a heads up ... DON'T! unless you have all the drivers
and a BIG hard drive or, at least make sure
Wife 1.0 has ALL the peeks and pokes you need for
FULL user satisfaction ... most slack somehow,
so check twice ... thrice ... or skip it

[AdultEUhost]

old school

[WiredGuy]

Always a classic
WG

[Iron Fist]

Yeah but you need Palimony 1.0 Protection installed in order to do a clean uninstall of Wife 1.0

[wizzart]

Awesome

[MoreMagic]

Isnt your whole live like that?

Originally Posted by V_RocKs

That is 3 minutes I will never get back.

[96ukssob]

good one

[fujiko]

i really liked it.. thanks

[Kron]

classic, but still nice

[Tjeezers]

Originally Posted by Overload

just a heads up ... DON'T! unless you have all the drivers
and a BIG hard drive or, at least make sure
Wife 1.0 has ALL the peeks and pokes you need for
FULL user satisfaction ... most slack somehow,
so check twice ... thrice ... or skip it

This one got a full version of Zone alarm on it. Only This guy gets access.
As a bonus i placed a Mouse recorder on it, so the boring tasks she will repeat without any hesitation

[DWB]

I have not laughed that hard in a long time. Thanks.

[3M TA3]

Originally Posted by zoltie

How the Stock Market works

Nice

[Cash]

hahaha, excellent joke

[John-ACWM]

Originally Posted by BradM

Estimated write date: 1977

true!

[Chit Chat]

A classic!

[Voodoo]

<?php
$statment="I\'m not available for a relationship, but why don\'t we $explitive_deleted instead?";

while(isset($Wife_1.0)){
       Query_beer();
       // listen2her();
       orderPizza();
       break;
}else{
       foreach($Girlfriend[$x]){
       print stripslashes("$statement");
}}
?>

[MandyBlake]

thats cute!