Monday's Funny Christmas Joke! - GoFuckYourself.com

Angelina77 · 12-08-2008, 06:01 AM

THe Night Before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas, and Gosh it was neat

The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat

The doors were all bolted, and the phone off the hook

It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.

Momma in her teddy, and I in the nude. Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube

When out on the lawn there arose such a cry, That I lost my boner and poor momma went dry.

Up to the window I sprang like an elf, Tore back the shade while she played with herself.

The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built, Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer.

With a fat little driver, half out of his sled, A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head.

Sure as I'm speaking, he was as high as a kite.

And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right.

Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz, Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts.

Look out for the lamp post, and don't hit the tree, Quit shaking the sleigh, 'cause I gotta go pee.

They cleared the old lamp post, the tree got a rub, Just as Santa leaned out and threw up on my shrub.

And then from the roof we heard such a clatter, As each little reindeer now emptied its bladder.

I was donning my jacket to cover my ass, When down the chimney Santa came with a crash.

His suit was all smelly with perfume galore, He looked like a bum and he smelled like a whore.

That was some brothel, he said with a smile, The reindeer are pooped, I'll just stay here awhile.

He walked to the kitchen, himself poured a drink, Then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink.

I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee, The old boy was hung nearly down to his knee.

Back in the den, Santa reached in his sack, But his toys were all gone, and some new things were packed.

The first thing he found was a pair of false tits, The next was a handgun with a penis that spits.

A box filled with condoms was Santa's next find, And a six pair of panties, the edible kind.

A bra without nipples, a penis extension, And several other things that I shouldn't even mention.

A cock ring, a G-string, and all types of oil, A dildo so long, it lay in a coil.

This suff ain't for kids, Mrs. Santa will shit, So I'll leave 'em here, and then I'll just split.

He filled every stocking and then took his leave, With one tiny butt plug tucked under his sleeve.

He sprang to his sleigh, but his feet were like lead, Thus he fell on his ass and broke wind instead.

In time he was seated, took the reins of his hitch, Take me home Rudolph, this night's been a bitch!

The sleigh was near gone when we heard Santa shout, The best thing about sex is that it never wears out!

mikesinner · 12-08-2008, 06:09 AM

lol, nice one

RenegadeCash Mark · 12-08-2008, 06:09 AM

Cant believe i just read that through.

JimmiDean · 12-08-2008, 06:10 AM

Very nice,
Thanks

tranza · 12-08-2008, 07:07 AM

Hahaha..very nice one!

RenegadeCash Mark · 12-08-2008, 07:09 AM

Post whores, it was shit..

Read it.

Serial Pervert · 12-08-2008, 08:15 AM

very nice

amandaspost · 12-08-2008, 11:23 AM

haha that was awesome

Dame · 12-08-2008, 11:55 AM

Funny twist to the original.

12-08-2008, 06:01 AM	#1
Angelina77 Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Michigan/Miami Fl. Posts: 336	Monday's Funny Christmas Joke! THe Night Before Christmas 'Twas the night before Christmas, and Gosh it was neat The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat The doors were all bolted, and the phone off the hook It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook. Momma in her teddy, and I in the nude. Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube When out on the lawn there arose such a cry, That I lost my boner and poor momma went dry. Up to the window I sprang like an elf, Tore back the shade while she played with herself. The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built, Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangy reindeer. With a fat little driver, half out of his sled, A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head. Sure as I'm speaking, he was as high as a kite. And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right. Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz, Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts. Look out for the lamp post, and don't hit the tree, Quit shaking the sleigh, 'cause I gotta go pee. They cleared the old lamp post, the tree got a rub, Just as Santa leaned out and threw up on my shrub. And then from the roof we heard such a clatter, As each little reindeer now emptied its bladder. I was donning my jacket to cover my ass, When down the chimney Santa came with a crash. His suit was all smelly with perfume galore, He looked like a bum and he smelled like a whore. That was some brothel, he said with a smile, The reindeer are pooped, I'll just stay here awhile. He walked to the kitchen, himself poured a drink, Then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink. I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee, The old boy was hung nearly down to his knee. Back in the den, Santa reached in his sack, But his toys were all gone, and some new things were packed. The first thing he found was a pair of false tits, The next was a handgun with a penis that spits. A box filled with condoms was Santa's next find, And a six pair of panties, the edible kind. A bra without nipples, a penis extension, And several other things that I shouldn't even mention. A cock ring, a G-string, and all types of oil, A dildo so long, it lay in a coil. This suff ain't for kids, Mrs. Santa will shit, So I'll leave 'em here, and then I'll just split. He filled every stocking and then took his leave, With one tiny butt plug tucked under his sleeve. He sprang to his sleigh, but his feet were like lead, Thus he fell on his ass and broke wind instead. In time he was seated, took the reins of his hitch, Take me home Rudolph, this night's been a bitch! The sleigh was near gone when we heard Santa shout, The best thing about sex is that it never wears out! __________________ Angela77 ICQ#486037339

12-08-2008, 06:09 AM	#2
mikesinner Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 5,646	lol, nice one __________________ My Best Sponsors MPl l Camsl CUMSHOTSl LESBIANSl FETISHl BJ RACESl TEEN BJl BSDMl VODl USE YOUR PC TO CURE CANCER

12-08-2008, 06:09 AM	#3
RenegadeCash Mark Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 1,002	Cant believe i just read that through. __________________ Make Real Money With Your Traffic! Promote Unsaturated High Converting Micro Niche Sites Pissing, Diapers, Teen, Amateur, Thai & More

12-08-2008, 06:10 AM	#4
JimmiDean Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Margarittaville Posts: 3,433	Very nice, Thanks __________________ My God there's Porn on here! Still on the Beach !!!

12-08-2008, 07:07 AM	#5
tranza ICQ: 197-556-237 Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: BRASIL !!! Posts: 57,559	Hahaha..very nice one! __________________ I'm just a newbie.

12-08-2008, 07:09 AM	#6
RenegadeCash Mark Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 1,002	Post whores, it was shit.. Read it. __________________ Make Real Money With Your Traffic! Promote Unsaturated High Converting Micro Niche Sites Pissing, Diapers, Teen, Amateur, Thai & More

12-08-2008, 08:15 AM	#7
Serial Pervert Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 2,666	very nice __________________

12-08-2008, 11:23 AM	#8
amandaspost Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: New Jersey Posts: 1,935	haha that was awesome __________________ Promote Traffic Gigolos - Up To $60 PPS!

12-08-2008, 11:55 AM	#9
Dame Confirmed User Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 354	Funny twist to the original.