perhaps this one

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/...t-alone-38039/

some VERY interesting posts there... :arcadefre

I have no problem with that.

I seriously think there's major discrimination against people who enjoy solitude. Think about it; the majority of people judge those of us who enjoy activities alone as though we're deviants. If you enjoy sex alone, you're a deviant. If you enjoy eating out or going to movies alone, you're "missing the whole point!" Society tells us that being alone is unhealthy. The message is that healthy people prefer to be with other people all the time except when they go poop!

This is part of the bullshit that makes the porn industry such a maligned business: because we can't believe it's healthy for someone to enjoy solo sex. It's a totally fucked up attitude.

I totally resent the assumption that spending time with people is more pleasurable and comfortable than spending time alone and that anyone who doesn't think so is somehow broken. Stupid people and their stupid codependent bullshit.

I have gone to eat sushi at some nice places alone because I just wanted to enjoy the meal myself...

good points Trixie, it is almost like the people that have gotten sucked in to the slavery and no freedom of marriage and kids resent and want to impose restrictions (even just in marginalizing them in thought) on those that are smart enough to stay free

I think it can happen in some cases that single people end up feeling bad and might get in a relationship due to the constant pressure from others in making it out to be strange or weird to want to stay single :2 cents:

Completely agree.

It is one of the reasons I have no intention of ever getting married. I enjoy my down time. I enjoy being able to take a drive, get this, BECAUSE I FUCKING WANT TO, at 2 a.m.. Or countless other things where I do not have to give a reason why. I just want to.

When I have time to myself. My mood is consistent most of the time. I do not have to listen to, or conform to, others needs. Or play the whole conversation game.

I am secure in who I am. What I like. I do not need the acceptance of others to make me happy.

Every time I see a guy eating sushi "alone", he is at the bar talking to the chef, showing off what he considers to be his superior sushi knowledge and willingness to try new things. Less like eating alone and more like getting a food "girlfriend experience".

:thumbsup

I'm not scared of eating alone, I just simply wouldn't enjoy it by myself. If I want solitude I will get it to go or fix myself dinner at home. Seems completely screwy to praise solitude but go to a busy restaurant, unless you have such a busy household that it's the only place you can escape. In which case I can still think of better places.

I think often the people that come into restaurants alone are actually looking for company. But then again my only serving experience is Hooters, so I'm probably biased.

I don't mind eating alone sometimes. It's good to get away from other people and just be inside your own head every once in a while. But it also helps that I grew up an only child so I know how to entertain myself.

I feel insecure when I do it, but it's actually been a "to-do" on my Life Coaching/Time Management list.

I never relax... and I'm always thinking about work... so my life coach wants me to set time aside during the week to do lunch by myself and a movie by myself.. (I'm a chick too, 24, bbw, so insecure).... and it's been hard.... because in my head everyone is thinking, "OMG look at the fat chick eating by herself..."

but honestly, short of young, teeny bopper cheerleader types giving me the "pity" look.. Honestly, no one with a brain really cares if you are at the movies or eating alone.

I usually do the expensive, oil man steak house here in Houston by myself at lunch here or there... The waiters/waitresses are uber nice. Sometimes the oilman assholes don't like a little BBW in Nike pants and t-shirt at their nice-ass steakhouse.. lol but oh well.

Grow a pair :)

with a book or a laptop, sure! Just by myself, no accoutrements... no way!

For me I cook almost all of the time. When I go to a restaurant I am not going for company (with someone or solo). I am going to a restaurant so that I do not have to cook, I can be served, order what I want with no hassles (typically something that's a pain to make at home), and of course not have to clean up etc.

Then better of fine restaurants just typically have better food or at least foods that are a pain in the ass to make at home by taking up shitloads of time. Not to mention that odds are in my favor that the Nice french place is much less busy than say Olive garden or red lobster (which is often full of couples and families doing their version of fine dining). The little French place typically would have many more tables open and such - often just because of the price etc. and the waitresses and staff are typically happy to get as many as possible. Especially if you are OK with eating between 5 and 8pm.

Now after some thought I could see it as weird or awkward if you booked a table at a fine restaurant for just yourself and it was say valentines day or something. Then I do think you would be going out of your way to mess with society rules or whatever - not to mention just taking up space at some place.

If you want to eat alone at a nice restaurant, and you aren't out of town, do it during breakfast or lunch.

Doing it during a busy dinner time at a Ruth Chris's or better restaurant does look pathetic. Not that you should care, but what's the friggin' point of even going there?

It's like pulling down your pants and scratching your ass in public, sure you could do it, but why?

Eating food out of a box that's gotten cold on the way home is not the same as having it brought to you hot on a nice plate, and like aftershock said you go to a restaurant to be served, relax while someone ELSE does the cooking and cleanup, make food you don't have the skill to cook or time to shop for, etc.

Even in a busy restaurant the other people you aren't interacting with are just background noise or maybe something entertaining to eavesdrop on, stare at, etc. There is other ambiance you can't get at home or in a hotel room and it's nice just to get out of the house.

I get that a lot of people are more social than I am and I don't think they should enjoy something like eating alone just because I do; what I don't get are people who totally cannot fathom it being any other way.

Yes, I could manage to eat alone.

Good luck and congratulations with that; I do think it's harder for women, and especially women society is in the nasty habit of judging superficially, to not feel like they're being judged and/or to not give a fuck even if they are. As this thread demonstrates, a lot of people *do* judge other people who eat alone so having additional factors like gender and weight to add to the "alone" thing probably makes it a lot harder than it would be for, say, a fat man. When people see men alone they assume they're away from home on business. When people see women alone they assume they have no one to keep them company. Men are supposed to work and get away from those pesky wimmin and all their jawin. while women are supposed to socialize, shop, raise kids, and attract life-long mates!

I want a coach too!

Why should I be nervous about that? It's silly.

Some people are single and/or may not have any friends available to eat with... Should they be forced to eat McDonalds just because they don't have someone to go with?

I agree with this... It seems that there is a difference between how men and women dining alone are perceived.

Posting your proud lack of imagination is a lot more like pulling down your pants and scratching your ass in public than enjoying dinner alone in a restaurant.

If there is a difference based on sex, it is not on how they are perceived. It would be on how women (or men) "think" others are perceiving them.

Nobody is going to stare at someone or even more because it is a woman sitting by herself (well unless she is cute and they want to flirt but then they are not think ahh poor her).

No matter how it is cut up etc. It would still be based on personal self consciousness issues. Being concerned with or overly concerned with what others may be thinking about "you". Some people are just scared shitless of being noticed, standing out, not blending in, or being in any way that social when on their own. Again really do not think it is a sexual issue either and is just a mental one.

What you fail to understand is that a pretty woman can do it anytime because everyone automatically assumes it's by choice.

I do this all the time, sometimes I prefer it because I can go where I want to eat and I don't have to worry about cheap friends/girls not liking the food. I eat what I want, till I'm full, pay and bounce. It's always a good meal!!

And about people watching me eat, if people are (which I seriously doubt anyone gives enough of a fuck about) just means that the person they're sitting with isn't satisfying them. Not my problem!

Relationships needs to be nurtured day in and day out, including friends
you NEED social contact

only in special grooves :winkwink:

do it all the time...

I'm heading out the door now to go to a restaurant by myself.

Yeah of course

I love to eat alone at restaurants.. cheaper and more peaceful. No mess to clean up after ward

Although wanting to drive randomly around at x AM in the morning has always been a long-held dream of mine, which will one day come to fruition when I finally graduate, get a job and get my own place, I think it shows a good example of where myself and others get the neurosis about eating alone.

The example being that my friend apparently was driving around between 2 and 4 in the morning, and was pulled up by the police, who didn't believe the legitimacy of her reason for driving as "Because I wanted to drive, and practically cautioned her (albeit informally) to go home.

If the attitude of Police is one of "You're doing something outside the norms of society, which although not suspiciously of illegal intent nor illegal itself makes us want to scare you back into obeying those norms" then it's no wonder that non-authoritarian people like me have issues about doing things alone.

:2 cents:

Baush, would you like to come out with me tonight to Red Lobster? I will use Achmed's black amex and buy you very expensive wine.

I'm doing it right now! I do it all the time, minus the laptop. I prefer it these days. I enjoy listening in on other people, people watching, spacing off, etc... Just to get out of the house and not have to worry about someone else and whether they want to stay, leave, etc.

There's a big difference between being alone and being lonely. :2 cents:

It's nice to get some alone time every once in a while

err i'm not promising no use of cell phone, but if i'm hungry, i'm hungry

I'm imagining a bunch of people who like eating alone all making dinner reservations at the same time in the same place during one of the conventions and sitting by ourselves, each at our individual tables. It would be, like, performance art. Or something.

interesting story testpie because I have noticed that before, when the cops want to pull you over because you looked suspicious, but the definition of suspicious in their minds was just because they saw you driving around late at night ... I'll sometimes go through a drive thru late at night and then drive around while eating and listening to the all night talk shows... but totally hate when all of the sudden there is a cop tailing me for no reason which seems to happen late at night more often

I see your point.

However, if I really felt that strongly about being harassed. I would just sue them.

I have been pulled over late at night for no reason. Or when I was younger because the car was a hooptie or making noise. But oh well. 10 minutes, and I was on my way.

Not only WOULD I be brave enough - I AM brave enough bc I have done it a few times...

things dont add up here, I live in NYC I go out to restaurants all the time with one or more person, I never see a guy or girl alone at a table.

I think most here are full of shit, youd never walk into a restaurant alone, at least not where there are 20 sets of people sitting and you will go to a table and eat by yourself give me a break.