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Old 07-25-2008, 07:24 AM   #1
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How I Solved My Jehovah's Witness Problems

From the outside it looks like a perfectly normal living room...



Upon closer examination...



Oh, by the way it also works great with all types of annoying door-to-door salespeeps.
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Old 07-25-2008, 07:30 AM   #2
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thats shotgun really sets the mood of your lobby motif
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Old 07-25-2008, 07:36 AM   #3
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I like it. I would just hope a criminal didn't break in while I was away, and I return home to find him holding my loaded shotgun. ;)
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Old 07-25-2008, 07:38 AM   #4
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Hahaha...did it work???
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Old 07-25-2008, 07:53 AM   #5
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nice shotgun, but those chairs are fugly *shudder*
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Old 07-25-2008, 08:04 AM   #6
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Easier (and much more fun) tell them that you're a satanist recruiting people to help you with human sacrifice..that it's hard to find good help, and they look like they'd be handy with a mop. They will put your on their "do not call" list, and likely shit themselves trying to get the hell away from your door.
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Old 07-25-2008, 09:16 AM   #7
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How does it work for girl scouts selling their cookies door to door?
They're getting pretty damn tough these days...
you might end up having a shootout with a 9 year old packing an uzi amongst her vast array of thin mints...
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Old 07-25-2008, 11:19 AM   #8
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weird, my buddy ahs that same painting
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Old 07-25-2008, 11:21 AM   #9
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Just don't answer the door.
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Old 07-25-2008, 11:37 AM   #10
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Smart.

I guess.
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Old 07-25-2008, 01:29 PM   #11
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Next time just ask them if you can add an upsell to a porn site on the back of their pamphlet. I'm sure you'd get better conversion ratios then they do :P
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Old 07-25-2008, 01:47 PM   #12
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Do people still sell door to door???
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Old 07-25-2008, 01:52 PM   #13
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lol ahahahah!
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Old 07-25-2008, 02:24 PM   #14
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I am just to uncool. My first place I just asked them not to return and they never did. Second house that did not work as well and I got a return visit from another couple, so I said I had been disfellowshiped and walla, never returned.

Never had a problem with Mormons as they seem to only come if invited or referred.
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Old 07-25-2008, 02:29 PM   #15
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Might wanna remove teh Shell from the weapon when people visit...

Just a suggestion though!

PS: Brandishing a weapon to people on your step is illegal. I think it may only be a misdemeanor though LOL!

Last edited by AlienQ - BANNED FOR LIFE; 07-25-2008 at 02:31 PM..
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Old 07-25-2008, 02:41 PM   #16
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Thats fucking awesome. I love that.

I love how you would open the door and then the gun would be in perfect position behind the door for you to grab it.

I gotta do that.. fuckin badass..
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Old 07-25-2008, 03:10 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AlienQ View Post
Might wanna remove teh Shell from the weapon when people visit...

Just a suggestion though!

PS: Brandishing a weapon to people on your step is illegal. I think it may only be a misdemeanor though LOL!
AlienQ, I am in Florida where we have the "Make My Day" law, which means that you can shoot anyone, anywhere, if you feel threatened. This includes from your vehicle, even if you do not have a carry permit. I feel threatened by Jehovah's Witnesses, I'm afraid they are trying to steal my soul.... hence.....
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Old 07-25-2008, 03:14 PM   #18
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lol... a step further than I would go, but ok!
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Old 07-25-2008, 04:41 PM   #19
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I prefer to invite Jehovahs in and discuss their views with me in the privacy of our in-home bondage studio.

As they bee-line for the door, I remind them to "tell your friends."

Problem solved.
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Old 07-25-2008, 07:03 PM   #20
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next time tell them to come back on the weekend and you really are glad as you have been wanting to pray with them.

when they appear ... tell them you are sick and come back in 2 days.

2 days later . dont answer the door when they come.

next time they come ask again to come back ...and again, blow them off using the same " come back on the weekend ... then 2 days later " routine.

This should result in them making ideally 12-16 trips to your place, only to never score the chance to pray and save your soul. Plus you are totally driving THEM nuts with having to drop whatever they are doing, come to your place and then again being told to come save a soul at a later date.

its fun and I guarentee that your house will get skipped on the next time round in a month or so when this all starts up again.
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Old 07-25-2008, 07:12 PM   #21
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Be nice to our good clients.....
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Old 07-25-2008, 07:17 PM   #22
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I like it. I would just hope a criminal didn't break in while I was away, and I return home to find him holding my loaded shotgun. ;)
I know a guy who had tommy guns, on the walls of his house. Guess what happened. They broke in and held him at gun point with his tommy guns, the idiot had them loaded.
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Old 07-25-2008, 07:18 PM   #23
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Originally Posted by SykkBoy2 View Post
How does it work for girl scouts selling their cookies door to door?
They're getting pretty damn tough these days...
you might end up having a shootout with a 9 year old packing an uzi amongst her vast array of thin mints...
Well you can send her and her thin mints over to me. I once bought three big cases of them and stored them in the freezer so I'd have enough to last all year until they came again.
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Old 07-25-2008, 08:17 PM   #24
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I know a guy who had tommy guns, on the walls of his house. Guess what happened. They broke in and held him at gun point with his tommy guns, the idiot had them loaded.
No problemo, I always tuck it under my trenchcoat when I leave the house. Gets a little hot in the summer though.... (whew)
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