Working for an a major porn corporation. An insiders look. - GoFuckYourself.com

Cory W · 02-09-2006, 05:55 PM

If you have ever wondered what it would be like, here is what a possible random day might be like.

----------------------------------------

6:30am. Huntington Beach.

Wake up, walk dogs, they will not go potty. Bump mouse on G4 Mac laptop, 15 icq?s waiting from overnight. They all have a gfy link in them.

Dogs shit in kitchen. They sit by it. They stare at me.

Clean up shit while 15 gfy pages that have nothing to do with me load. Ask the dogs to kindly reexamine shitting philosophy. Leave them with food and visualize a world without dogshit.

Get on 405 North. Put Toyota Tundra in park. Sit. Wait. Think.

1 hour later. 7:30am. Huntington Beach.

I manage to move over 7 full lanes to the carpool lane. I have not moved forward yet, only sideways, due east. Carpool lane stops solid, lane 4 is now open and flowing.

7:31am. New Text message arrives.

Dude, I hear crocodiles are in the waters of Costa Rica where we are surfing. We will need to watch out for them. ?Poppy.

7:32am. Text message reply.

Please find a different place to surf.

9:15am. Irvine California. Wegcash offices.

Plug in laptop to network. Pour coffee. Open email, safari browser and icq.

15 new icqs. 335 new emails.

Email tech guy.

Me: My folders do not work.

Check stats for Wegcash program.

9:31am. New text message.

Hey, check your icq.
- Affiliate

9:32am. Check icq.

Hey man, check your email when you get a chance.
- affiliate

9:33am. Check email.

Hey brother, check your icq.
-affiliate

9:34am. Reply to email.

Hey, checked cell phone, icq and email. You need something? Let me know.

Thanks,

Cory.

10am. Email from Drinkinghard.

Hey Cory,

do you have any information on customs laws in Costa Rica? We need to get around 100 eyepatches across the border for our Pirate Party. I am also building a plank.

10:02am. Place phone call to American Airlines.

Hi Linda,

I booked two flights to Costa Rica yesterday. I have a couple of questions:

---Go ahead sir.

Do you know if Costa Rica takes any issue with bringing eyepatches in my luggage? Specifically, 100 eyepatches?

---Sir, I doubt it. But I don?t think a hard and fast rule exist.

Thanks, ok, My friend is building a plank. Do you think Costa Rica has an issue with that?

---Sir, what is a plank?

Like a big piece of wood that people are forced to walk down.

---How much does this plank weigh??

10:35am. Reply to DH?s email.

Dude, how much does the plank weigh?

10:36am. Stare at this email before hitting send. Decide the email looks too stupid to send. Close email. Hit --do not save.

11:00am. Get new email. It is from John.

Hey man, can you grab 10 burgers from Carl?s Jr. while you are out for lunch? I know you go to Panda Express, it is near. I would ask one of the girls, but they always complain that it makes them feel like a secretary. We don?t need drinks, we have them here, just fries.

Reply.

Sure, why not.

11:17am. Carl?s Jr.

Me: can I please get 10 burgers?

Emp: Sure, would you like the meal with burger 1?

Me: No thanks, just fries.

Emp: Ok. Would you like a meal with burger 2?

Me: Ok, I see where this is going. Look, to simplify things, I do not want a meal with any of the 10 burgers. I just want fries with them.

Emp: Would you like cheese?

Me: Fuck.

11:22am. Make phone call to John.

Me: Dude, do you want cheese on these?

John: Hold up man?.Hey Gabe, you want cheese on them?.....Ok, ?.he says it doesn?t matter.

11:24am. Carls Jr cont.

Me: No cheese.

Emp: Ok, but it might be better if you order the double patty special it is a better value if you don?t want cheese.

Me: Look man, seriously, I don?t eat this crap. I don?t even pay for it out of my pocket. I do not care about value.

11:27am.

Leave Carl?s Jr for Panda Express. Paid for 10 burgers. 9 are in the bag.

11:45am. Arrive Panda Express.

Emp: Hi you like sample?

Me: No man, I will have a 3 item meal, no noodles or rice, just vegetables.

Emp: K sir you like noodle with 3 item?

Me: No dude. Vegetables instead.

Emp: K sir I give you orange chicken what else?

12:00 noon. Leave Panda Express with a side of veggies, 2 boxes of orange chicken and a side of noodles.

12:17pm. Back at office. ICQ message comes in.

Gabe: Dude, check your email.

12:17pm. Check email.

Gabe: Dude, only 9 burgers. Did you pay for 10?

12:18pm. Reply to icq.

It was a special deal. The patties weigh more.

12:30am. Orange chicken open. Get instant message.

Girlfriend: You get that email I sent you?

Me: Hold up.

12:31am. Check email.

From Girlfriend.

Hey baby, miss you. Check instant messages.

12:32am. Return to messenger.

Me: Hey baby.

Girlfriend: you busy?

Me: Very much so.

Girlfriend: K.

Girlfriend: Are you ever going to hang that picture on the wall at home? Also, I don?t like it that Chopper (one of our pugs) lays on our bed sheets in the mornings, can you please not let him sit in the sun spot on the bed? I know you sneak him up there while I am showering. Also, PLEASE get a Costco card this afternoon while you are going to Panda, we are spending way too much money on chips and stuff.

Me: Yeah, I was just kidding about the whole busy thing.

Girlfriend: WTF? You have time for Eric, Poppy in John if a casino in Tahoe is on the line, but not for me! And btw, Panda Express is not even real Chinese food! Good bye!

12:45pm. Female Weg employee sends me an email.

Hey, check ur AOL messenger.

12:46PM. Check messenger.

Female Weg: Hey, birthday in conf room. We need you to help sing.

1:00PM. Get text message.

Hey man, got your email reply. Sorry for confusion. Will hit you up on messenger with my question later.
-Affiliate?

1:02PM. Reply to female Weg personnel in regards to birthday.

Me: Hey, what time is the birthday?

Female: Check your email alerts yourself, I am not your secretary.

1:05PM. Conference room.

Me: Happy birthday dear?..blah blah?happy birthday to you.

2:00PM. My office. Phone rings.

Girlfriend: Did you get my last instant message?

Me: Yes, but you said goodbye?

Girlfriend: Just checking. Bye.

3:00PM. Get email.

From: Guy shooting content for an exclusive site we are building.

Check your icq. Sent you link of model.

3:11PM. Get email.

From Weg General:

Company wide email.

All employees should begin checking messengers more. Communication needs to improve.

3:17PM. Check messenger.

Content guy: Hey bro, check out this picture of her.

Me: She looks good. Anymore pics?

Content: Yes, sending you a zip file in your email. She might do anal, am waiting for her to email me back. I will forward that to your mobile.

3:45PM. Get text message.

Hey dude, do you know if they make wetsuits that are teeth proof?
-Poppy

Me: Please find us another surfing break.

4:01PM. Office phone rings.

Hello Cory, you have a delivery downstairs. 10 Pirate costumes.

Me: But I sent those to Costa Rica directly, the eyepatches were to come here?

Not my problem. Heavy box. Please get it before 5:00PM.

4:41PM. Get ICQ.

Hey brother,

Really sorry about all the confusion today. I will hit you up on text messenger tomorrow so we can finish up this conversation. I know you are busy, but I really appreciate all your help today. You have a great night.

BTW, I just sent you an email, your spam filter is bouncing it.

-Affiliate.

tony286 · 02-09-2006, 05:57 PM

Major porn corporation I think Hustler, Vivid

Cory W · 02-09-2006, 05:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tony404

Major porn corporation I think Hustler, Vivid

Light hearted thread brother.

For a blog I changed it up.

The Heron · 02-09-2006, 06:01 PM

hahahahahaha good shit!

WiredGuy · 02-09-2006, 06:04 PM

This is the best thing I've read all day, thanks Cory!
WG

Anna_O · 02-09-2006, 06:05 PM

Hahaha funny stuff! Took ten minutes of my life, but it was worth it!

Sly · 02-09-2006, 06:09 PM

Ahahahahahaha.

Less communicating, more work!

FleshJoe2005 · 02-09-2006, 06:14 PM

So... mission accomplished?

FlexxAeon · 02-09-2006, 06:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WEG Cory

...
Me: Ok, I see where this is going. Look, to simplify things, I do not want a meal with any of the 10 burgers. I just want fries with them.

Emp: Would you like cheese?

Me: Fuck.
...

classic

jjjay · 02-09-2006, 06:26 PM

best post this year

BrettJ · 02-09-2006, 06:29 PM

OMG - you might benefit from giving people one way to contact you

Mr.Right - Banned For Life · 02-09-2006, 06:30 PM

Cool thread.

dissipate · 02-09-2006, 06:32 PM

The slavery of digital communication!!!

munki · 02-09-2006, 06:34 PM

How many peeps from this board live in HB?

Princess Ellisa · 02-09-2006, 06:39 PM

OMG Cory that is seriously soooooooooooooo true!

You just totally killed me...btw check ICQ I messaged you and you have not responded but I did not also try your email LoL

nofx · 02-09-2006, 06:45 PM

2:00PM. My office. Phone rings.

Girlfriend: Did you get my last instant message?

Me: Yes, but you said goodbye?

Girlfriend: Just checking. Bye.

LOL

sonofsam · 02-09-2006, 06:46 PM

Why did i read all that?

but i'm glad i did.. it was interesting

T-Minus 4 minutes before 30 other people use the joke "hey cory, check your email and icq"

Peaches · 02-09-2006, 06:47 PM

I SO do not miss all of that!

Thanks for the laugh - it's easier when you're on the outside

bhutocracy · 02-09-2006, 06:51 PM

heheh.. good shit.. although i'll never understand how people have inside dogs... especially if they're bigger than a cat... cleaning up dogshit in the yard is bad enough!

Serge Litehead · 02-09-2006, 06:59 PM

nice one!

KingK7 · 02-09-2006, 07:07 PM

Hahaha nice, you've gotta be one of the funniest guys around here, love the way you write

GTS Mark · 02-09-2006, 07:19 PM

Those eye patches better be in the mail, also the plank is almost done!

DH

a1ka1ine · 02-09-2006, 07:52 PM

you get up at 630am omg! what time do you sleep usually?

Thee Johnclave · 02-09-2006, 08:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tony404

Major porn corporation I think Hustler, Vivid

But more importantly, don't you hate it when you only get 9 of your 10 Carls Jr. burgers? It makes me so mad I could spit.

phogirl69 · 02-09-2006, 08:19 PM

Waking up at 6:30 am sounds rough
I usually wake up around 2-4 pm in the afternoon.

I didnt know WEG offices are in Irvine, that's local for me.

reynold · 02-09-2006, 08:29 PM

reading this thread gave me the best laugh ever. i badly need it.

DaddyHalbucks · 02-09-2006, 08:32 PM

Some good stuff there. THanks.

gornyhuy · 02-09-2006, 08:35 PM

Fucking brilliant.
Thanks for lightening my evening.

gornyhuy · 02-09-2006, 08:35 PM

Fucking brilliant.
Thanks for lightening my evening.

Peaches · 02-09-2006, 08:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jimmy The Squid

But more importantly, don't you hate it when you only get 9 of your 10 Carls Jr. burgers? It makes me so mad I could spit.

Gabe got his 9 - isn't that all that matters?

SAM SIYC · 02-09-2006, 09:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrinkingHARDER

Those eye patches better be in the mail, also the plank is almost done!

DH

what are you guys planning

did I tell you that your room is 100000% confrimed DH !!

Pornwolf · 02-09-2006, 09:51 PM

Fucking hilarious Cory! LOLOL

Phoenix · 02-09-2006, 09:51 PM

you forgot to include your nap after lunch ;)

Rochard · 02-09-2006, 10:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WiredGuy

This is the best thing I've read all day, thanks Cory!
WG

My thoughts exactly!

GigoloJustin · 02-09-2006, 10:54 PM

haha great post =)

luv$ · 02-09-2006, 11:03 PM

What an awesome post. Made me laugh out loud 3 times while reading it.

Great read Cory

DamageX · 02-09-2006, 11:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by luv$

What an awesome post. Made me laugh out loud 3 times while reading it.

Great read Cory

Yep, definitely one of the funnier posts I've read on GFY.

TondaB · 02-10-2006, 12:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phoenix

you forgot to include your nap after lunch ;)

That's usually Gabe's job;)

Interesting that you mention Carl's Jr.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Gabe said he didn't eat lunch today!!!

je_rome · 02-10-2006, 01:06 AM

narrative is quite long... yet it's worth reading.

reed_4 · 02-10-2006, 01:20 AM

pretty entertaining, thanks.

Cory W · 02-10-2006, 10:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrinkingHARDER

Those eye patches better be in the mail, also the plank is almost done!

DH

I wrote this (or most of this) after we had that ICQ conversation about pirate outfits and eyepatches.

BTW, the box did arrive last night. Can't wait!

Cory W · 02-10-2006, 10:44 AM

Thanks everyone, I have no Internet at my place (until tomorrow), thought I would play around.

And yes, I live in Huntington Beach.

Ellisa, my fault on that, I sent you an offline message this morning.

wdsguy · 02-10-2006, 10:46 AM

holy shit and I thought my drive to and back from work was bad!

ronaldo · 02-10-2006, 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WEG Cory

12:17pm. Check email.

Gabe: Dude, only 9 burgers. Did you pay for 10?

12:18pm. Reply to icq.

It was a special deal. The patties weigh more.

Now THAT made me laugh.

Sosa · 02-10-2006, 10:48 AM

haha can't believe I read the whole thing.

Cory W · 02-10-2006, 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KingK7

Hahaha nice, you've gotta be one of the funniest guys around here, love the way you write

Thanks, hopefully I can work out a novel.

I have trashed around 6 so far.

Cory W · 02-10-2006, 10:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wdsguy

holy shit and I thought my drive to and back from work was bad!

Man, I get on at Beach Blvd. / 405 heading south to Irvine. From Beach to Harbor is a total catastrophe. After that it is not bad at all.

Yesterday after I wrote this and left the office, I found a short cut using all side streets.

I was so happy I cried a little.

detoxed · 02-10-2006, 10:52 AM

So basically they get a food delivery service, a travel agency, and an ICQ bot and they save a few K a month?

just kidding

munki · 02-10-2006, 10:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WEG Cory

Man, I get on at Beach Blvd. / 405 heading south to Irvine. From Beach to Harbor is a total catastrophe. After that it is not bad at all.

Yesterday after I wrote this and left the office, I found a short cut using all side streets.

I was so happy I cried a little.

Shit man... hit Ellis all the was down from Beach, you can skip over almost the entire crunch zone on the 405.

Gabriel · 02-10-2006, 10:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WEG Cory

Get on 405 North. Put Toyota Tundra in park. Sit. Wait. Think.

405 North?

02-09-2006, 06:04 PM	#5
WiredGuy Pounding Googlebot Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Canada Posts: 34,490	This is the best thing I've read all day, thanks Cory! WG __________________ I play with Google.

02-09-2006, 06:05 PM	#6
Anna_O Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Sweden Posts: 5,773	Hahaha funny stuff! Took ten minutes of my life, but it was worth it! __________________ Fetish by Anna Paysite - Nylons Bondage Latex Lesbians Glamour Annas Dungeon - 70k / day Fetish TGP ICQ 246797915

02-09-2006, 06:09 PM	#7
Sly Let's do some business! Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 31,344	Ahahahahahaha. Less communicating, more work! __________________ Vacares - Web Hosting, Domains, O365, Security & More - Paxum and BTC Accepted Windows VPS now available Great for TSS, Nifty Stats, remote work, virtual assistants, etc. Click here for more details.

02-09-2006, 06:14 PM	#8
FleshJoe2005 Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 287	So... mission accomplished? __________________ I convert male sextoy traffic at ~1:30!!! Send me your traffic and we'll split 50-50. ICQ: 325-310-821

02-09-2006, 05:57 PM	#2
tony286 lurker Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: atlanta Posts: 57,021	Major porn corporation I think Hustler, Vivid

02-09-2006, 06:01 PM	#4
The Heron Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Michigan Posts: 4,488	hahahahahaha good shit!

02-09-2006, 06:26 PM	#10
jjjay Registered User Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 1,813	best post this year

02-09-2006, 06:29 PM	#11
BrettJ ol' timer Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Seattle WA Posts: 4,715	OMG - you might benefit from giving people one way to contact you

02-09-2006, 06:30 PM	#12
Mr.Right - Banned For Life I guarantee it Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 18,314	Cool thread.

02-09-2006, 06:32 PM	#13
dissipate The Dirty Frenchman Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Lost Angeles Posts: 8,904	The slavery of digital communication!!!

02-09-2006, 06:34 PM	#14
munki Do Fun Shit. Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: OC Posts: 13,393	How many peeps from this board live in HB? __________________ “I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.” -Oscar Wilde

02-09-2006, 06:39 PM	#15
Princess Ellisa Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: In my own lil' bubble. Posts: 1,883	OMG Cory that is seriously soooooooooooooo true! You just totally killed me...btw check ICQ I messaged you and you have not responded but I did not also try your email LoL __________________ Skype: PrincessEllisa1 ellisa at pink label dot .com Princess of Everything, Pink Label

02-09-2006, 06:45 PM	#16
nofx Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Virgin Mary's womb Posts: 16,826	2:00PM. My office. Phone rings. Girlfriend: Did you get my last instant message? Me: Yes, but you said goodbye? Girlfriend: Just checking. Bye. LOL __________________ Often times I wonder why There's love and hate, theres live or die. When sickness comes I must decide: When feelings go, theres suicide.

02-09-2006, 06:46 PM	#17
sonofsam Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Vancouver Posts: 18,639	Why did i read all that? but i'm glad i did.. it was interesting T-Minus 4 minutes before 30 other people use the joke "hey cory, check your email and icq" __________________ I like turtles.

02-09-2006, 06:47 PM	#18
Peaches Old broad Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Away Posts: 13,933	I SO do not miss all of that! Thanks for the laugh - it's easier when you're on the outside

02-09-2006, 06:51 PM	#19
bhutocracy Not making A Comeback Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 10,218	heheh.. good shit.. although i'll never understand how people have inside dogs... especially if they're bigger than a cat... cleaning up dogshit in the yard is bad enough!

02-09-2006, 06:59 PM	#20
Serge Litehead Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Behind the scenes Posts: 5,190	nice one! __________________ SilverCrocodile.com Adult web design since '05

02-09-2006, 07:07 PM	#21
KingK7 Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 6,372	Hahaha nice, you've gotta be one of the funniest guys around here, love the way you write

02-09-2006, 07:19 PM	#22
GTS Mark Vrume Mark Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Toronto, Canada Posts: 20,912	Those eye patches better be in the mail, also the plank is almost done! DH

02-09-2006, 07:52 PM	#23
a1ka1ine Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 3,387	you get up at 630am omg! what time do you sleep usually?

02-09-2006, 08:19 PM	#25
phogirl69 Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 3,330	Waking up at 6:30 am sounds rough I usually wake up around 2-4 pm in the afternoon. I didnt know WEG offices are in Irvine, that's local for me.

02-09-2006, 08:29 PM	#26
reynold Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Global Traveler Posts: 51,271	reading this thread gave me the best laugh ever. i badly need it.

02-09-2006, 08:32 PM	#27
DaddyHalbucks A freakin' legend! Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Las Vegas, Nevada USA Posts: 18,975	Some good stuff there. THanks. __________________ Boner Money

02-09-2006, 08:35 PM	#28
gornyhuy Chafed. Join Date: May 2002 Location: Face Down in Pussy Posts: 18,041	Fucking brilliant. Thanks for lightening my evening. __________________ icq:159548293

02-09-2006, 09:51 PM	#32
Pornwolf Drunk and Unruly Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Hollywood Posts: 22,712	Fucking hilarious Cory! LOLOL __________________ I've trusted my sites to them for over a decade... Webair, bitches.

02-09-2006, 09:51 PM	#33
Phoenix BACON BACON BACON Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Poems everybody, the laddie fancies himself a poet Posts: 35,469	you forgot to include your nap after lunch ;) __________________ Skype Phoenixskype1 Telegram PhoenixBrad https://quantads.io

02-09-2006, 10:54 PM	#35
GigoloJustin Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Washington Posts: 2,244	haha great post =)

02-09-2006, 11:03 PM	#36
luv$ !$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$!$ Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Paper Street Posts: 6,158	What an awesome post. Made me laugh out loud 3 times while reading it. Great read Cory __________________ Domain Auction - now till 12:01AM on the 2nd... Paper Streeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet Cash The Real Workout - Innocent High - Oye Loca - Her Freshman Year - Solo Interviews - This Girl Sucks. ** HQ Fresh ORIGINAL sites.

02-10-2006, 01:06 AM	#39
je_rome Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 6,846	narrative is quite long... yet it's worth reading. __________________ Make money on any traffic. Join KlikRevenue.com Today!

02-10-2006, 01:20 AM	#40
reed_4 Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 9,640	pretty entertaining, thanks. __________________

02-10-2006, 10:44 AM	#42
Cory W Deeply shallow Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Hollywood, Ca. Posts: 9,133	Thanks everyone, I have no Internet at my place (until tomorrow), thought I would play around. And yes, I live in Huntington Beach. Ellisa, my fault on that, I sent you an offline message this morning. __________________ ICQ: 292310358 Offering writing and content services (mainstream). Marketing for L3 Payments

02-10-2006, 10:46 AM	#43
wdsguy Ryde or Die Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: California-Shanghai Posts: 19,568	holy shit and I thought my drive to and back from work was bad!

02-10-2006, 10:48 AM	#45
Sosa In Tushy Land Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Nebraska Posts: 40,149	haha can't believe I read the whole thing.

02-10-2006, 10:52 AM	#48
detoxed vip member Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 17,798	So basically they get a food delivery service, a travel agency, and an ICQ bot and they save a few K a month? just kidding