The 36 Axioms of Sexual Intercourse, as Evidenced in Porn

[ProducerCashDave]

Thought this was funny

1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are never impotent.
3. When "going down" on a woman, 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
4. If a woman gets caught masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment; instead she will insist he have sex with her.
5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
6. Women are indifferent as to weather they in the mouth, in the vagina or up the ass.
7. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
8. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
9. WOMEN SCREAM AND GRAB THE MAN'S ASS CLOSER TOWARDS THEM. causing more moaning.
10. Women always orgasm when men do.
11. All women are noisy cummers; often they will announce when it is happening.
12. People in the 70's couldn't cum unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
13. Those tits are real. Period.
14. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt. Spanking is also a turn-on.
15. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.
16. If there are two of Men present, they will "high five" each other. (and the girl won't be disgusted!)
17. Double penetration makes women smile.
18. Asian men don't exist.
19. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't beat you to death if you shove your penis in his girlfriend's mouth.
20. There's never a plot.
21. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite her by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.
22. Nurses tend to suck patients' cocks as an exam method.
23. Men always pull out, and can hold until the money shot.
24. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before joining both of you.
25. Women never have headaches... or periods.
26. When a woman is sucking off a man, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it", lest she forget what she is doing.
27. Anuses are perpetually clean.
28. Everyone's penis is bigger than yours.
29. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a penis there.
30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.
31. A Penis joke is an appropriate lead-in to the so-called "nasty".
32. Geeks never have to beg.
33. Every girl on the planet is bi
34. When women are having their last orgasm, it's important to show a close-up of the man's face for all of it.
35. Pubic hair is just a myth.
36. sleeping is discouraged unless you're over 65

[I'm Looking For A...]

baaahahahahahaahahahaa

26 is my favorite

18 is hilarious too

[woj]

old but still good

[SifuE]

LMAO,,,,,26 n 23

[payd2purv]

You kno what's funny..

Well they say kids repeat what they see in movies and video games..

well that's not true..

but kids DO repeat what they see in porns which can be just as bad... Ass 2 mouth is NOT OK!

[D Ghost]

great list haha

[MandyBlake]

that's too funny.