Just caught my 12yr old son smoking .......... - Page 3 - GoFuckYourself.com

CDSmith · 06-05-2008, 07:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CosmicTang

make him sit in a closet and smoke cigarettes until he gets sick and throws up. that ought to cure it.

That's old sk00l! :D

Phoenix · 06-05-2008, 07:31 PM

holy shit....well..keep at him...im sure he is not lost...just get involved

and dont pot such stuff here..it gives people firewood for your witch burning

Tom_PM · 06-05-2008, 07:52 PM

Some of us have posted nice words and potentially helpful advice. Best to focus on the positive. ;)

Spunky · 06-05-2008, 07:56 PM

That's about the age I started then gradually went to smoking weed at 14.hopefully his peers will steer him away from that disgusting habit

notoldschool · 06-05-2008, 07:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by junction

1878 posts since 2002. It's quite obvious I am a sig whore.

I never said you were a good sigwhore.

opulence · 06-05-2008, 08:08 PM

I tried smoking for about 4 days when I was about 12 years old...

On the fourth day, a friend of mine said to me in the school field

"Brent, you're smoking too?"
"Yeah.."
"why?"
"Don't know"
"It makes your breath smell, girls won't want to talk to you, and it's really unhealthy"
"You're right"

Stopped smoking right then and there and haven't smoked more than 10 cigarettes in the past 13 years...

GregE · 06-05-2008, 08:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Due

Mayby he feel neglected because your youngest son with Autism is taking too much attention ?

Well, actually that would be too much attention from his point of view. But yeah, that kind of thing can be a real problem. Siblings of special needs children feel cheated on one level or another more often than not and it usually has nothing to do with "bad parenting"

Kudles · 06-05-2008, 08:53 PM

Thats sucks that it happened. Hope you have things better soon.

SmokeyTheBear · 06-05-2008, 09:07 PM

dont be the enforcer or he will ignore you , be his friend. Explain you wont be mad and he wont be punished if he is honest. Ask him how many smokes he smokes per day. If it is anything more than 0 you need to put the time and effort right now into making sure he stops. Chances are he is smoking regularly unless he had friends over because you just don't smoke alone unless you got a habit.

I realise you want to punish him , but do the opposite, take him on a camping trip so he can't be exposed to his friends or smoking.

Remember being a kid , forcing kids to do anything usually has the opposite effect.

Fill his day with things that will keep him too busy for smoking.

Agent 488 · 06-05-2008, 09:17 PM

eh - my parents were sweet and sober as judges - i was a fucking badass - it's not so simple to throw it at the mom's feet - i'm not some know-it-all fat nerd webmaster loser - i don't have a solution for every problem in the world.

dynastoned · 06-05-2008, 09:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CosmicTang

make him sit in a closet and smoke cigarettes until he gets sick and throws up. that ought to cure it.

yeah give that little fucker a pack and let him smoke the whole thing infront of you until he yacks.

Odin · 06-05-2008, 09:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angelina77

There is always a Idiot in here, parents aren't always to blame, what cause I got a divorce, is that it?? Oh my fault right? I took his xbox away his cell phone away, my youngest son has Autism is that my fault too??? Asshole

I went through the same kind of childhood, nothing to cry about, but I did make hell for my mum in my teens, a lot of boys do. Truthfully, you need a man to put him inline, try calling his dad if you still keep in touch with him, and get him to put him in place - i.e. scare the shit out of him. My older brothers did it for me, and it wasn't pretty but it wouldn't of worked if it came from my mum - she tried.

Agent 488 · 06-05-2008, 09:22 PM

a kid smoking isn't the end of the world - most of my parent's generation started smoking at that age and became incredible people - don't listen to people here who couldn't raise a chia pet let alone a kid ...

MikeSmoke · 06-06-2008, 12:52 AM

Not to be unsympathetic...but you're mixing apples with oranges.

A suspension is a big deal. Dealing with that is what should take priority - finding out if it was for something major or something minor, and responding appropriately.

Experimenting with smoking at age 12 is not a big deal, in comparison - I would bet that 75% of the people on this board experimented with smoking around that age, and that most either didn't start, or have subsequently quit. Obviously he shouldn't start and you don't want him to start, and it should be discussed with him on a rational, logical level that he can appreciate (how can you afford it, you won't be able to play sports the way you'll want to, etc) - a 12 year old isn't usually going to respond to the "here's what's going to happen to you in 40-50 years" argument.
But the reality is that he's either going to continue behind your back, or stop after he tries it for a bit and doesn't like it. It's the same way that most kids have done it, and have for generations - just be glad that societal pressure is on your site now, unlike 50 years ago.
And just FYI, most people I've talked to (and in my situation, I've talked to more smokers than most of you have seen in your lives) who got the "you're going to smoke a whole pack" as punishment treatment, had one immediate thought: "Cool!" And more of them ended up as smokers than said "yuck, I don't want to see another cigarette in my life."

Flame if you want - but just because I run a smoking fetish program doesn't mean I think it's OK for kids to start smoking. I have one of my own, and she'd *better* not start ;)

Adultnet · 06-06-2008, 01:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MikeSmoke

just because I run a smoking fetish program doesn't mean I think it's OK for kids to start smoking. *better* not start ;)

If he end up smoking hard,
arrange him a small spot at one of the sites

papill0n · 06-06-2008, 02:09 AM

All I can say is good luck Angelina . I know its not easy raising kids.

CDSmith · 06-06-2008, 04:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Socks

They have friends, and you aren't their friend. You are their parent, and the more you accept the challenge and rise to it, the more your kids will look up to you, respect you, consider what you think and take your advice.

More than anything, if you say you're going to do something, you HAVE to follow through. If you don't, then your words are, and will always be: completely meaningless.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Socks

I took him to all his Hockey, Soccer, Basket ball , even softball games. <---- Chauffer

I was the one routing for him like he was my hero. <--- heros are higher up on the food chain than lowly parents

I live in a great neighborhood, with very lil crime or if any! <--- safety net, high expectations

He also (DOES HAVE DIRT BIKES AND RIDES them with his friends in my back yard) <--- Rock star image to live up to at school

Great kid all around he's suspended for talking to much! <--- Kids don't get suspended for talking too much. They get suspended for refusing to follow the rules, repeatedly. I'm sure your son was a "great kid" to the teachers that told him to keep quiet, repeatedly. Your position on this matter scares me a lot, as you're siding with your son.

From what I've seen as an observant kinda guy, is that parents who generally side with their kids (school's fault, stupid teacher, school sucks, it isn't forever, don't talk to my son that way, etc etc) are well, bad parents. Not saying you're one, but really, ask yourself why you would back your son up after getting kicked out of school? What are you teaching him? Can you not consider that it may be his fault?

Those are actually pretty good posts.

I can certainly say with conviction that while my own mother was my "friend", she was first and foremost my mother, my parent. Always there to listen and help me with problems, but when it came time for disipline she dropped the friend card pretty damn quick and wasn't at all afraid to mete out some old school punishment. My dad too for that matter, both had a lot of patience with us kids but were not shy about laying down the fucking law when we needed it.

I disagree with those advising to be the kid's mooshy wooshy friend. I mean really, who the fuck is in charge here, the kids or the parents? You as the parent are supposed to know what's best for your kids, and sometimes no amount of talking to them like a friend is going to work. I'm not suggesting anyone kick the shit out of their brat, but some creative tough love is definitely in order here.

Sam Granger · 06-06-2008, 04:47 AM

Whats the situation with his dad?

Vick! · 06-06-2008, 04:51 AM

Smoking is bad, and at 12 its really worse. I hope your get it sorted.

NikKay · 06-06-2008, 07:47 AM

My 13-year-old daughter had a friend over and I walked in her room to it smelling like smoke. I asked her who was smoking and she said she did not know. I said, "I'm going to ask you one more time and if you lie to me again you will regret that decision." That time she started crying and admitted she had gotten a cig from some kid at school and was trying it out.

I calmly and seriously asked her a lot of questions about how she wants her life and her heath to turn out and relayed as many stories as I could remember about people dying or being very ill from smoking. I also pointed out how disgusting smokers look and smell and how none of my friends would date someone who smoked.

She hasn't done that again and she often tells people she sees smoking how horrible of a habit it is. So I guess my simple approach worked. Of course, my daughter respects and looks up to me quite a bit so that helps.

Quagmire · 06-06-2008, 08:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NikKay

My 13-year-old daughter had a friend over and I walked in her room to it smelling like smoke. I asked her who was smoking and she said she did not know. I said, "I'm going to ask you one more time and if you lie to me again you will regret that decision." That time she started crying and admitted she had gotten a cig from some kid at school and was trying it out.

I calmly and seriously asked her a lot of questions about how she wants her life and her heath to turn out and relayed as many stories as I could remember about people dying or being very ill from smoking. I also pointed out how disgusting smokers look and smell and how none of my friends would date someone who smoked.

She hasn't done that again and she often tells people she sees smoking how horrible of a habit it is. So I guess my simple approach worked. Of course, my daughter respects and looks up to me quite a bit so that helps.

Very sensible way to handle it.

PS you're way too hot and young looking to have a 13yr old.

TarPy · 06-06-2008, 08:14 AM

I dunno, my friends graduated college, talked shit on how dumb cigarettes were. 2 years later.

I only smoke when I'm really drunk...

I'm only having one because it's a nice day...

It's not like I have a pack or anything, I just bum a few...

It's not like I smoke a pack a day, I just have a pack in my room in case I want one...

I wish I could quit...

AND THEN when one of my friends does quit, one of my other friends that tried quitting, but isn't off them right now, will be like "HEY, it's just one dude, for old time's sake?"

BOOM SMOKER AGAIN

I don't fucking get cigs.

SexSense · 06-06-2008, 08:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angelina77

I'm so pissed off, my son is out of school right now because he is suspended. I came home when he didn't expect it and my home home smelt like smoke. He denied but yet the only one here. I'm so mad but don't know what to do! I keep trying to punish him for the last thing, then there is something new!! WTF Any parents of teens have any ideas??

JOYS OF BEING A SINGLE PARENT

May be he did not inhale like George W. did... :D

CDSmith · 06-06-2008, 08:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TarPy

I dunno, my friends graduated college, talked shit on how dumb cigarettes were. 2 years later.

I only smoke when I'm really drunk...

I'm only having one because it's a nice day...

It's not like I have a pack or anything, I just bum a few...

It's not like I smoke a pack a day, I just have a pack in my room in case I want one...

I wish I could quit...

AND THEN when one of my friends does quit, one of my other friends that tried quitting, but isn't off them right now, will be like "HEY, it's just one dude, for old time's sake?"

BOOM SMOKER AGAIN

I don't fucking get cigs.

My best friend in high school started out that way exactly, was sure he could play it cool and just have one when he felt like, mr cool guy when out drinking, a couple puffs at the party after.... then one day I noticed he was smoking all the time and called him on it. Yep... hooked.

25+ years later he's still hooked.

Mister E · 06-06-2008, 08:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sicone

That sucks. My son is almost 10 and I'm not looking forward to his teen yrs.

my son just turned 16

look forward to it my friend....

cool teens make the best people.

we are lucky, my guess is parentd in Darfur wish their worst concern was kidws smoking.

he's just trying to be cool, look what other kids do in the name of cool.

...by the way, expect idiots to give harsh advise on parenting, they live to do do....

testpie · 06-06-2008, 08:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by buyandsell

at least its not crack

Or the cock.

Matyko · 07-04-2008, 05:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adult Lounge - Brad

Educate how bad it is for him. Also show him how smoking is not even cool anymore.

:D It is hard to believe you're not kidding with an avatar like yours.. :P :D

Matyko · 07-04-2008, 06:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SexSense

May be he did not inhale like George W. did... :D

Juicy D. Links · 07-04-2008, 06:02 AM

at least it wasny cocaine

Ross · 07-04-2008, 06:15 AM

I'm 25 years old and don't have kids. I never caused my mum much trouble when I was younger, I had my moments of course like everyone but on the whole I believe I was ok growing up. My parents split up when I was about 9 so to the people thinking thats the reason for this don't believe that. I never smoked, never even tried it. I didn't start drinking alcohol till I was almost 17 when I met my gf and we started going out with our group of friends.

I'm in no position to tell you what to do here but anytime I started to get a little cheeky to my mum I was grounded, my mum even told my Grandpa and Gran what I had done to embarass me (and trust me this worked - I hated knowing my Grandpa was pissed at me) and she would tell my bigger cousins who I looked up to what a cheeky little shit I was being. Stupid things like this worked. I'd say talk to your kid, ask him why he wants to start smoking... Do his friends do it and if so tell him he doesn't need to do it coz they do. Infact in a few years if they are still doing it they'll be wishing their parents caught them when you caught your kid.

Hope it works out for you.

Spunky · 07-04-2008, 06:20 AM

Spare the rod,spoil the child

mynameisyep · 07-04-2008, 06:43 AM

as long as you tighten his freedome the more he will become a black sheep. This is my advice... Try to consider him as his brother/sister and get his mode of attention then feel like your best friend, then when you get his attention that's the time to tell what you like and dislike as a parent

06-05-2008, 07:31 PM	#102
Phoenix BACON BACON BACON Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Poems everybody, the laddie fancies himself a poet Posts: 35,469	holy shit....well..keep at him...im sure he is not lost...just get involved and dont pot such stuff here..it gives people firewood for your witch burning __________________ Skype Phoenixskype1 Telegram PhoenixBrad https://quantads.io

06-05-2008, 07:52 PM	#103
Tom_PM Porn Meister Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 16,443	Some of us have posted nice words and potentially helpful advice. Best to focus on the positive. ;) __________________ 43-922-863 Shut up and play your guitar.

06-05-2008, 07:56 PM	#104
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,949	That's about the age I started then gradually went to smoking weed at 14.hopefully his peers will steer him away from that disgusting habit __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

06-05-2008, 09:07 PM	#109
SmokeyTheBear ►SouthOfHeaven Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: PlanetEarth MyBoardRank: GerbilMaster My-Penis-Size: extralarge MyWeapon: Computer Posts: 28,609	dont be the enforcer or he will ignore you , be his friend. Explain you wont be mad and he wont be punished if he is honest. Ask him how many smokes he smokes per day. If it is anything more than 0 you need to put the time and effort right now into making sure he stops. Chances are he is smoking regularly unless he had friends over because you just don't smoke alone unless you got a habit. I realise you want to punish him , but do the opposite, take him on a camping trip so he can't be exposed to his friends or smoking. Remember being a kid , forcing kids to do anything usually has the opposite effect. Fill his day with things that will keep him too busy for smoking. __________________ hatisblack at yahoo.com

06-05-2008, 09:22 PM	#113
Agent 488 Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 22,511	a kid smoking isn't the end of the world - most of my parent's generation started smoking at that age and became incredible people - don't listen to people here who couldn't raise a chia pet let alone a kid ... Last edited by Agent 488; 06-05-2008 at 09:24 PM..

06-05-2008, 08:08 PM	#106
opulence Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 273	I tried smoking for about 4 days when I was about 12 years old... On the fourth day, a friend of mine said to me in the school field "Brent, you're smoking too?" "Yeah.." "why?" "Don't know" "It makes your breath smell, girls won't want to talk to you, and it's really unhealthy" "You're right" Stopped smoking right then and there and haven't smoked more than 10 cigarettes in the past 13 years...

06-05-2008, 08:53 PM	#108
Kudles Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Here There and Everywhere Posts: 5,477	Thats sucks that it happened. Hope you have things better soon.

06-05-2008, 09:17 PM	#110
Agent 488 Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 22,511	eh - my parents were sweet and sober as judges - i was a fucking badass - it's not so simple to throw it at the mom's feet - i'm not some know-it-all fat nerd webmaster loser - i don't have a solution for every problem in the world.

06-06-2008, 12:52 AM	#114
MikeSmoke Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: SoCal Posts: 3,233	Not to be unsympathetic...but you're mixing apples with oranges. A suspension is a big deal. Dealing with that is what should take priority - finding out if it was for something major or something minor, and responding appropriately. Experimenting with smoking at age 12 is not a big deal, in comparison - I would bet that 75% of the people on this board experimented with smoking around that age, and that most either didn't start, or have subsequently quit. Obviously he shouldn't start and you don't want him to start, and it should be discussed with him on a rational, logical level that he can appreciate (how can you afford it, you won't be able to play sports the way you'll want to, etc) - a 12 year old isn't usually going to respond to the "here's what's going to happen to you in 40-50 years" argument. But the reality is that he's either going to continue behind your back, or stop after he tries it for a bit and doesn't like it. It's the same way that most kids have done it, and have for generations - just be glad that societal pressure is on your site now, unlike 50 years ago. And just FYI, most people I've talked to (and in my situation, I've talked to more smokers than most of you have seen in your lives) who got the "you're going to smoke a whole pack" as punishment treatment, had one immediate thought: "Cool!" And more of them ended up as smokers than said "yuck, I don't want to see another cigarette in my life." Flame if you want - but just because I run a smoking fetish program doesn't mean I think it's OK for kids to start smoking. I have one of my own, and she'd better not start ;) __________________ icq: 541-739-92

06-06-2008, 02:09 AM	#116
papill0n Unregistered Abuser Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 15,547	All I can say is good luck Angelina . I know its not easy raising kids.

06-06-2008, 04:47 AM	#118
Sam Granger Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: NL (Eindhoven), CZ(Prague), FR(Concarneau) Posts: 3,958	Whats the situation with his dad? __________________ [img]http://**************/sig/fhv3_j2_624x80_2.gif[/img] $35-40 Per Signup, 60-70% Rev Share, over 80 Sites, Exclusive Sites, tons of free content 14,000+ Free hosted Galleries, RSS feeds, Domain Hosting, Embedded Flash Movies Join Fetish Hits now! ICQ:** 358652230

06-06-2008, 04:51 AM	#119
Vick! Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: 20 00'24.00" N, 75 09'00.00 W Posts: 6,882	Smoking is bad, and at 12 its really worse. I hope your get it sorted. __________________ Affordable Quality Web Hosting

06-06-2008, 07:47 AM	#120
NikKay Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 1,642	My 13-year-old daughter had a friend over and I walked in her room to it smelling like smoke. I asked her who was smoking and she said she did not know. I said, "I'm going to ask you one more time and if you lie to me again you will regret that decision." That time she started crying and admitted she had gotten a cig from some kid at school and was trying it out. I calmly and seriously asked her a lot of questions about how she wants her life and her heath to turn out and relayed as many stories as I could remember about people dying or being very ill from smoking. I also pointed out how disgusting smokers look and smell and how none of my friends would date someone who smoked. She hasn't done that again and she often tells people she sees smoking how horrible of a habit it is. So I guess my simple approach worked. Of course, my daughter respects and looks up to me quite a bit so that helps.

06-06-2008, 08:14 AM	#122
TarPy Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 758	I dunno, my friends graduated college, talked shit on how dumb cigarettes were. 2 years later. I only smoke when I'm really drunk... I'm only having one because it's a nice day... It's not like I have a pack or anything, I just bum a few... It's not like I smoke a pack a day, I just have a pack in my room in case I want one... I wish I could quit... AND THEN when one of my friends does quit, one of my other friends that tried quitting, but isn't off them right now, will be like "HEY, it's just one dude, for old time's sake?" BOOM SMOKER AGAIN I don't fucking get cigs. __________________ Not Working

07-04-2008, 06:02 AM	#129
Juicy D. Links So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: N.Y. -Long Island -- Posts: 122,992	at least it wasny cocaine

07-04-2008, 06:15 AM	#130
Ross Ik ben een aap Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Traffic Force Towers, Canada! Posts: 18,874	I'm 25 years old and don't have kids. I never caused my mum much trouble when I was younger, I had my moments of course like everyone but on the whole I believe I was ok growing up. My parents split up when I was about 9 so to the people thinking thats the reason for this don't believe that. I never smoked, never even tried it. I didn't start drinking alcohol till I was almost 17 when I met my gf and we started going out with our group of friends. I'm in no position to tell you what to do here but anytime I started to get a little cheeky to my mum I was grounded, my mum even told my Grandpa and Gran what I had done to embarass me (and trust me this worked - I hated knowing my Grandpa was pissed at me) and she would tell my bigger cousins who I looked up to what a cheeky little shit I was being. Stupid things like this worked. I'd say talk to your kid, ask him why he wants to start smoking... Do his friends do it and if so tell him he doesn't need to do it coz they do. Infact in a few years if they are still doing it they'll be wishing their parents caught them when you caught your kid. Hope it works out for you.

07-04-2008, 06:20 AM	#131
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,949	Spare the rod,spoil the child __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

07-04-2008, 06:43 AM	#132
mynameisyep Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 233	as long as you tighten his freedome the more he will become a black sheep. This is my advice... Try to consider him as his brother/sister and get his mode of attention then feel like your best friend, then when you get his attention that's the time to tell what you like and dislike as a parent __________________ The Adult Niche EMAIL ME