I say no big deal - your mother also wouldn't be so happy when she knew about your first blow job done couple of years ago....

You guys are jerks. I think GFY is a great place to vent and thats all she is doing. nobody comes here thinking they are going to get great advice but I think they just are looking to hear similar stories or just get an idea or two. GFY does have its fair share of morons but it also has a well mixed crowd of all races, countries, gender, age, etc...

Careful, that kind of logical sense can have grave consequences here at GFY :winkwink:

I'm 26 and I remember smoking my first cig when I was 11, I didn't even know how to inhale. I say its just part of growing up, he will experiment with things you might not like but thats the only way we he can learn. Just set high expectations for him and let him know you don't care he smoked, we all experiment and screw up and you know that he wont let you down again.

Oh also I hate cigs by the way. Gross gross

nice idea, Shame its wrong, GFY isnt a great place for anything apart from picking up the odd adult webmaster affiliate to help sell pictures off woman with dildo's up there cunt.

It isnt a place to get friends, and certainly isnt a place to share ideas on parenting. If you think it is I hope you never have kids, if you have kids and think this is the place to share parenting skills, I feel sorry for them :(

Looks like the only other person who thinks this is a good place to share parenting skills have kids at 12 suspended from school who smoke.

don't punish him. talk to him. tell him its ok to smoke but give him limitations. (like smoke outside the room etc.) and explain the consequences if he continues with the habit. so in the end he will think about it, and might stop eventually.

make him feel that you support him in anything. ryt now that he is suspended, i think he is feeling down, and needs your support.

Obviously English wasn't a requirement.

Right, this sorta escalated.. I still stick to my advice though, a crying mother always shut me up.

Ha ha...i was waitin to pounce, but then comes the old man first...like I siad before never less than a A in comp or any comp paper for that mater. I love helping you get your post count close to equal to your age dinosaur man. :1orglaugh:1orglaugh

schools are much easier int this century but u woulnt no.

lol I can even laugh at that, I also went to mom2mom site but I post here alot lately, so the people who know me understand. As for advice here???? to my understanding we are all normal people here with family's. I didn't know you thought everyone here was such loosers that I shouldn't ask.

Send him to bootcamp ;-)

dont explain yourself to trash... they are too stupid to understand!!! He probably dropped out of school and had parents like he's trying to describe me as. So he's angry! He needs love! We all love you Brad take a xanax and get some sleep! ok

wicked :)
thats bad

Thanx it's nice to hear that. When I called his father he basically said the same things. He was in a fort with 4 other boys and they all tried it. They were the same age. I feel better. And if I do catch him again I will do what half of you said.... to make him smoke the whole pack till he pukes.:winkwink:

I'd work on having him around the other 50% of the time. You clearly have a problem with this kid if he is only 12 and already getting into serious problems at school.

It stems from something. Just gotta find out what it is.

Best of luck.

1878 posts since 2002. It's quite obvious I am a sig whore.

The first person to offer me a cigarette was my dad when I was a child, maybe 6 or 7 years old (I always asked if I could try things, and he let me in his presence). Ditto for alcohol. I experimented a little further in highschool with my friends, but I knew it was never something I would continue. My parents aren't smokers nor drinkers although grandma was a chain smoker.

But all situations are different and individual temperaments and addictive personalities differ too.

find his cigarettes, slide a couple hairs into each of them.

No teenage kid that has expermented with smoking is going to stop just because his mom says so or because he's punished. It will just make him want to do it more. You have to figure out a way to make him decide it's bad.

When I was a kid I experimented with smoking but didn't continue. I also didn't do drugs but it wasn't because my parents told me not to.. It was because I decided not to on my own. That's the key.. He has to decide it for him self.

Hell the best thing that probably happened to me was I knew a guy that did way too much pot.. To the point the he was getting pretty damn stupid. Anytime I thought of drugs after that I thought of that dude and how useless he was.

I'd say try and find some one dying of cancer in the hospital or someone who has to talk through the hole in their throat and let your son spend some quality time with them..

That's old sk00l! :D

holy shit....well..keep at him...im sure he is not lost...just get involved

and dont pot such stuff here..it gives people firewood for your witch burning

Some of us have posted nice words and potentially helpful advice. Best to focus on the positive. ;)

That's about the age I started then gradually went to smoking weed at 14.hopefully his peers will steer him away from that disgusting habit

I never said you were a good sigwhore. :winkwink:

I tried smoking for about 4 days when I was about 12 years old...

On the fourth day, a friend of mine said to me in the school field

"Brent, you're smoking too?"
"Yeah.."
"why?"
"Don't know"
"It makes your breath smell, girls won't want to talk to you, and it's really unhealthy"
"You're right"

Stopped smoking right then and there and haven't smoked more than 10 cigarettes in the past 13 years...

Well, actually that would be too much attention from his point of view. But yeah, that kind of thing can be a real problem. Siblings of special needs children feel cheated on one level or another more often than not and it usually has nothing to do with "bad parenting" :2 cents:

Thats sucks that it happened. Hope you have things better soon.

dont be the enforcer or he will ignore you , be his friend. Explain you wont be mad and he wont be punished if he is honest. Ask him how many smokes he smokes per day. If it is anything more than 0 you need to put the time and effort right now into making sure he stops. Chances are he is smoking regularly unless he had friends over because you just don't smoke alone unless you got a habit.

I realise you want to punish him , but do the opposite, take him on a camping trip so he can't be exposed to his friends or smoking.

Remember being a kid , forcing kids to do anything usually has the opposite effect.

Fill his day with things that will keep him too busy for smoking.

eh - my parents were sweet and sober as judges - i was a fucking badass - it's not so simple to throw it at the mom's feet - i'm not some know-it-all fat nerd webmaster loser - i don't have a solution for every problem in the world.

yeah give that little fucker a pack and let him smoke the whole thing infront of you until he yacks.

I went through the same kind of childhood, nothing to cry about, but I did make hell for my mum in my teens, a lot of boys do. Truthfully, you need a man to put him inline, try calling his dad if you still keep in touch with him, and get him to put him in place - i.e. scare the shit out of him. My older brothers did it for me, and it wasn't pretty but it wouldn't of worked if it came from my mum - she tried.

a kid smoking isn't the end of the world - most of my parent's generation started smoking at that age and became incredible people - don't listen to people here who couldn't raise a chia pet let alone a kid ...

Not to be unsympathetic...but you're mixing apples with oranges.

A suspension is a big deal. Dealing with that is what should take priority - finding out if it was for something major or something minor, and responding appropriately.

Experimenting with smoking at age 12 is not a big deal, in comparison - I would bet that 75% of the people on this board experimented with smoking around that age, and that most either didn't start, or have subsequently quit. Obviously he shouldn't start and you don't want him to start, and it should be discussed with him on a rational, logical level that he can appreciate (how can you afford it, you won't be able to play sports the way you'll want to, etc) - a 12 year old isn't usually going to respond to the "here's what's going to happen to you in 40-50 years" argument.
But the reality is that he's either going to continue behind your back, or stop after he tries it for a bit and doesn't like it. It's the same way that most kids have done it, and have for generations - just be glad that societal pressure is on your site now, unlike 50 years ago.
And just FYI, most people I've talked to (and in my situation, I've talked to more smokers than most of you have seen in your lives) who got the "you're going to smoke a whole pack" as punishment treatment, had one immediate thought: "Cool!" And more of them ended up as smokers than said "yuck, I don't want to see another cigarette in my life."

Flame if you want - but just because I run a smoking fetish program doesn't mean I think it's OK for kids to start smoking. I have one of my own, and she'd *better* not start ;)

If he end up smoking hard,
arrange him a small spot at one of the sites :)

All I can say is good luck Angelina . I know its not easy raising kids.

Those are actually pretty good posts.

I can certainly say with conviction that while my own mother was my "friend", she was first and foremost my mother, my parent. Always there to listen and help me with problems, but when it came time for disipline she dropped the friend card pretty damn quick and wasn't at all afraid to mete out some old school punishment. My dad too for that matter, both had a lot of patience with us kids but were not shy about laying down the fucking law when we needed it.

I disagree with those advising to be the kid's mooshy wooshy friend. I mean really, who the fuck is in charge here, the kids or the parents? You as the parent are supposed to know what's best for your kids, and sometimes no amount of talking to them like a friend is going to work. I'm not suggesting anyone kick the shit out of their brat, but some creative tough love is definitely in order here.

Whats the situation with his dad?

Smoking is bad, and at 12 its really worse. I hope your get it sorted.

My 13-year-old daughter had a friend over and I walked in her room to it smelling like smoke. I asked her who was smoking and she said she did not know. I said, "I'm going to ask you one more time and if you lie to me again you will regret that decision." That time she started crying and admitted she had gotten a cig from some kid at school and was trying it out.

I calmly and seriously asked her a lot of questions about how she wants her life and her heath to turn out and relayed as many stories as I could remember about people dying or being very ill from smoking. I also pointed out how disgusting smokers look and smell and how none of my friends would date someone who smoked.

She hasn't done that again and she often tells people she sees smoking how horrible of a habit it is. So I guess my simple approach worked. Of course, my daughter respects and looks up to me quite a bit so that helps.