Chuck Norris Jokes - Post your Fav.

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  • CDSmith
    Too lazy to set a custom title
    • May 2001
    • 51460

    #101
    Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
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    • Beanz
      Confirmed User
      • Feb 2007
      • 238

      #102
      Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with Men because he's gay... He's just ran out of women

      There are no animals on the endangered species list... There are only animals Chuck allows to live
      ICQ: 400782448

      MoHawkSteve: jager good
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      • CyberHustler
        Masterbaiter
        • Feb 2006
        • 28736

        #103
        Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night
        “If you can convince the lowest white man he’s better than the best colored man, he won’t notice you’re picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he’ll empty his pockets for you.”

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        • CyberHustler
          Masterbaiter
          • Feb 2006
          • 28736

          #104
          According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
          “If you can convince the lowest white man he’s better than the best colored man, he won’t notice you’re picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he’ll empty his pockets for you.”

          Comment

          • CyberHustler
            Masterbaiter
            • Feb 2006
            • 28736

            #105
            Chuck Norris once pulled out a single hair from his beard and skewered three men through the heart with it.
            “If you can convince the lowest white man he’s better than the best colored man, he won’t notice you’re picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he’ll empty his pockets for you.”

            Comment

            • CyberHustler
              Masterbaiter
              • Feb 2006
              • 28736

              #106
              If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
              “If you can convince the lowest white man he’s better than the best colored man, he won’t notice you’re picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he’ll empty his pockets for you.”

              Comment

              • CyberHustler
                Masterbaiter
                • Feb 2006
                • 28736

                #107
                MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can roundhouse-kick his head through a wall and take it.
                “If you can convince the lowest white man he’s better than the best colored man, he won’t notice you’re picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he’ll empty his pockets for you.”

                Comment

                • CyberHustler
                  Masterbaiter
                  • Feb 2006
                  • 28736

                  #108
                  Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
                  “If you can convince the lowest white man he’s better than the best colored man, he won’t notice you’re picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he’ll empty his pockets for you.”

                  Comment

                  • u-Bob
                    there's no $$$ in porn
                    • Jul 2005
                    • 33063

                    #109
                    Originally posted by Beanz
                    Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with Men because he's gay... He's just ran out of women

                    Comment

                    • u-Bob
                      there's no $$$ in porn
                      • Jul 2005
                      • 33063

                      #110
                      Originally posted by CDSmith
                      Chuck Norris does not hunt, because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

                      Comment

                      • jmk
                        Confirmed User
                        • Sep 2002
                        • 5391

                        #111
                        OMG hahahah some really funny ones!

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                        • CyberHustler
                          Masterbaiter
                          • Feb 2006
                          • 28736

                          #112
                          Do you know why Baskin Robbins only has 31 flavors? Because Chuck Norris doesn't like Fudge Ripple.
                          “If you can convince the lowest white man he’s better than the best colored man, he won’t notice you’re picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he’ll empty his pockets for you.”

                          Comment

                          • CyberHustler
                            Masterbaiter
                            • Feb 2006
                            • 28736

                            #113
                            Chuck Norris was what Willis was talkin' about.
                            “If you can convince the lowest white man he’s better than the best colored man, he won’t notice you’re picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he’ll empty his pockets for you.”

                            Comment

                            • CyberHustler
                              Masterbaiter
                              • Feb 2006
                              • 28736

                              #114
                              It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call Chuck Norris a giant meteor.
                              “If you can convince the lowest white man he’s better than the best colored man, he won’t notice you’re picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he’ll empty his pockets for you.”

                              Comment

                              • CyberHustler
                                Masterbaiter
                                • Feb 2006
                                • 28736

                                #115
                                Chuck Norris shot the sheriff, but he round house kicked the deputy.
                                “If you can convince the lowest white man he’s better than the best colored man, he won’t notice you’re picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he’ll empty his pockets for you.”

                                Comment

                                • CyberHustler
                                  Masterbaiter
                                  • Feb 2006
                                  • 28736

                                  #116
                                  Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.
                                  “If you can convince the lowest white man he’s better than the best colored man, he won’t notice you’re picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he’ll empty his pockets for you.”

                                  Comment

                                  • CyberHustler
                                    Masterbaiter
                                    • Feb 2006
                                    • 28736

                                    #117
                                    Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.
                                    “If you can convince the lowest white man he’s better than the best colored man, he won’t notice you’re picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he’ll empty his pockets for you.”

                                    Comment

                                    • CyberHustler
                                      Masterbaiter
                                      • Feb 2006
                                      • 28736

                                      #118
                                      Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder at the same time.
                                      “If you can convince the lowest white man he’s better than the best colored man, he won’t notice you’re picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he’ll empty his pockets for you.”

                                      Comment

                                      • CyberHustler
                                        Masterbaiter
                                        • Feb 2006
                                        • 28736

                                        #119
                                        Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
                                        “If you can convince the lowest white man he’s better than the best colored man, he won’t notice you’re picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he’ll empty his pockets for you.”

                                        Comment

                                        • CyberHustler
                                          Masterbaiter
                                          • Feb 2006
                                          • 28736

                                          #120
                                          Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
                                          “If you can convince the lowest white man he’s better than the best colored man, he won’t notice you’re picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he’ll empty his pockets for you.”

                                          Comment

                                          • CyberHustler
                                            Masterbaiter
                                            • Feb 2006
                                            • 28736

                                            #121
                                            Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris glare will liquefy your kidneys.
                                            “If you can convince the lowest white man he’s better than the best colored man, he won’t notice you’re picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he’ll empty his pockets for you.”

                                            Comment

                                            • u-Bob
                                              there's no $$$ in porn
                                              • Jul 2005
                                              • 33063

                                              #122
                                              Originally posted by Cyber-Hu$tler
                                              Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris glare will liquefy your kidneys.

                                              Comment

                                              • bonkerz2007
                                                Confirmed User
                                                • Sep 2005
                                                • 794

                                                #123
                                                Chun Kuk Do - enough said.

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                                                • Persius
                                                  Tap into MOBILE!
                                                  • Jul 2003
                                                  • 11779

                                                  #124
                                                  damn Cyber hustler you really like chuck Norris jokes

                                                  Comment

                                                  • PornMD
                                                    Mainstream Businessman
                                                    • Jan 2007
                                                    • 9291

                                                    #125
                                                    Some that I like:

                                                    If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

                                                    A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

                                                    Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

                                                    On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
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                                                    • potter
                                                      Confirmed User
                                                      • Dec 2004
                                                      • 6559

                                                      #126
                                                      it takes chuck norris 20 minutes to watch 60 minutes.

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                                                      • Persius
                                                        Tap into MOBILE!
                                                        • Jul 2003
                                                        • 11779

                                                        #127
                                                        Originally posted by potter
                                                        it takes chuck norris 20 minutes to watch 60 minutes.

                                                        Comment

                                                        • kooperclub
                                                          Confirmed User
                                                          • May 2008
                                                          • 274

                                                          #128
                                                          Originally posted by Cyber-Hu$tler
                                                          Chuck Norris shot the sheriff, but he round house kicked the deputy.

                                                          Comment

                                                          • M0nk
                                                            Confirmed User
                                                            • Feb 2007
                                                            • 3502

                                                            #129
                                                            what would you have if you concentrate chuck norris pee and some sugar on a can???...



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                                                            • tranza
                                                              ICQ: 197-556-237
                                                              • Jun 2003
                                                              • 57559

                                                              #130
                                                              Uhhhhhhhhhhh.... Ok then..........
                                                              I'm just a newbie.

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                                                              • Got Porn?
                                                                Confirmed User
                                                                • Nov 2005
                                                                • 1264

                                                                #131
                                                                Originally posted by After Shock Media
                                                                Visit google and type in find chuck norris and click im feeling lucky.

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                                                                • SCtyger
                                                                  Confirmed User
                                                                  • May 2003
                                                                  • 564

                                                                  #132
                                                                  Chuck Norris doesnt use condoms. There's no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
                                                                  http://www.silvercash.com/

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                                                                  • alphacosta
                                                                    Registered User
                                                                    • Apr 2008
                                                                    • 1

                                                                    #133
                                                                    Since the birth of Chuck Norris, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased %13,000 worldwide.

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