MY PORN LETTER: To The Illegal Tube Site Owners!

[xxxjay]

So, you think it?s cool to swap MP3s? Sure, I?ve downloaded a song or ten thousand in my time, however: Under no circumstances: Should you ever, ever share PORN! That?s right, our beloved American institution is already in enough financial trouble. The ?talent? doesn?t get paid enough as it is! NOW, there?s barely enough incentive for a maladjusted teen with low self-esteem and a meth habit to start doing triple anal on film!

The cash pornographers lose to PORN THIEVES will translate to pay cuts to the porn girls. As money becomes scarce, the talent pool will dry up. Then people left still buying porn will diminish and sales will plummet. Revenue streams will dry up and Adult industry will go bankrupt.

With no more funds for lawyers, the good folks that run jizz become victims of a republican Witch-hunt and sent to prison. As the studios start fold, millions of Americans, who were quietly leading decent lives behind the scenes in porn will become displaced. These poor souls, unable to find work because of their past, will turn to violent crime. This will overload the court system with the influx of unemployed smut peddlers.

With all the smut peddlers in jail: Porn movies will become a memory of the distant past ? only living as a distant flicker on some file-sharing network!

With the industry out if the way: YOU will the only person the goon squad to come for! The prison system will bog down even more. Eventually, the number of Americans incarcerated will outnumber those on the street. A giant multi-billion dollar sized hole will be left in the economy.

The county will fall into disarray. Merciless budget cuts will be made. Medicare will go first. With the lack of healthcare, new strains of disease will form and reach pandemic levels quickly. With the death of porn, billions will shut off their computers, causing a massive surge on the power grid; leaving the United States powerless.

The only modern connivance left will be automobiles: which the survivors will turn to for heat, shelter and power. The massive release of hydrocarbons will kill all plant life, worldwide oxygen levels will plummet, and pollution will be so thick that it will eventually black out the sun ? thus ending all life, as we know it.

As a last result of the cataclysm, the Moon will be knocked off kilter, and it will collide with the now dead Earth ? sending us hurtling into deep space.

Over millions of years, the remnants our planet will be eroded by the cosmic winds, and will reduce Terra Firma to chunks of astral debris. If we are lucky, the chunks of our once mighty civilization will reenter another world as a shooting star for alien beings to make a wish on?all because:

They were smart enough to NEVER STEAL PORN!!!!

Jay

[Dennis Rodman]

nice one Jay

[cranki]

This reminds me of the Busty Rhymes intro on Extinction Level Event:

"Daddy, what's it gonna be like in the year 2000?"

"Well, sweatheart, for your sake I hope it'll be all peaches and cream
But I'm afraid the endtime is near
The Cataclysmic Apacalypse referred to the scriptures of every holy book known
to mankind
It will be an era froughtwith boundless greed and corruption
Where global monotary systems disinigrate leaving brother to kill brother
For a grain of overcooked rice
The nations of the civilized world will collapse under the appressive weight
of
paracidic political conspiracies
Which remove all hope and optimism from their once faithful citizens
Around the globe generations of polluters will be punished for their sins
Unshielded by the ozone layer they have successfully depleated
Left to bake in the seering naked rays of light
Wholesale acsassination serve to destablize every remaining government
Leaving the starving and wicked defend for themselves
Blood-thirsty renegade cyborgs created by tax dodge in corporations recavoch
Pissed off ambroids tired of being slaves to a Godless and gutless system
Where the rich get richer and the poor get fucked over and out
Unleashed worldwide destruction by means of nuclear Holocaust
Enialating the terrified masses
Leaving in its torturious way nothing but vicious canibalistic mutating
radiating
And horribly disfigured ords of satanic killers, begged on revenge, but
against doom
There are so few left alive, starvation rain supreme
Forcing our lucky survivors to eat anything and anyone in thrie path
Massive earthquakes crack the planet's crust like a hollow egg shell
Causing unending volcanic eruptions
Creatures of the seven seas unable to escape to certain death upon land
Boiling in their liquid prison, disease encircles the earth
Plagues and viruses, with no known cause or cure, laying waste whatever draws
breath
And human kind having proven itself to be nothing more than a race of ruthless
scavengers
Fall victim to merciless attack on the hands of interplanetary alien tribes
Who seek to pelker or chorb remains
This is Extinction Level Event, the final world front and there is only one
year left"

"That's cool, I can't hardly wait!"

"You don't have to because here it is...because here it is...because here it is"

[xxxjay]

I meant to write "MY OPEN LETTER" - damn these 6 am drunks!

[just a punk]

xxxjay,

That's a good letter, but... do you really think that illegal tube owners will care of it? They are acting according to this simple rule: "take it and run!"

[LeRoy]

Nice one Jay Fuck the thieves

[Darkhorse]

You need to drink more buddy....

[Klen]

Originally Posted by xxxjay

I meant to write "MY OPEN LETTER" - damn these 6 am drunks!

Actualy it sounds better porn letter

[Chest Rockwell]

Damn, PornLetter.com is taken

[CarlosTheGaucho]

that's a great open porn letter.. i've also got a couple of whiskey powered deja vus yesterday..

[DirtyRichFilms]

Fuckin' right! I don't wanna die!

[Grapesoda]

Originally Posted by xxxjay

The ?talent? doesn?t get paid enough as it is! NOW, there?s barely enough incentive for a maladjusted teen with low self-esteem and a meth habit to start doing triple anal on film!

that's a fuckin' joke for sure