Are Men getting STIFFED by CHILD SUPPORT LAWS? - Page 3 - GoFuckYourself.com

Wenchy · 10-15-2002, 10:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by thatdykeliz

Would you believe that I was advised by my foodstamps/AFDC caseworker to get pregnant again so that I could continue to stay on assistance? The system is pretty much set up so that people who try to start working get penalized for it -- making anything above a certain amount a month resulted in the loss of over half my benefits, which was NOT made up for by the amount of money I was making.

We went through some scary, scary times when I was trying to get off assistance after my husband left me. It really would have been easier and made more sense for me to follow my caseworker's advice and get knocked up again, rather than work my butt off to complete some work training and get a job.

I didn't, though -- I just sucked it up and kept trying when I would get a letter in the mail informing me that they were reducing my benefits AGAIN, even though I was making minimum wage and was having to make the decision "which do I want to have this month: food, electricity, or a phone? which one gets to be a luxury this month?"

It sucked, and it was terrifying, but I'm proud that when I was a single mom, I got myself off welfare and into a good job before I got married again, and was taking care of myself and my daughter alone.

Been there, done that, Kelly. I always had a problem with the fact that I was more educated than the people that were handling my case at Social Services. I worked my ass off to get through college and get my degree. I barely remember my son from ages birth to 5, because I was too busy studying and going to school to spend much time with him. Thank the gods I had my mom to provide childcare at a somewhat reduced rate (she does it for a living) or I never would have made it. As it was, social services wouldn't pay one cent to help me get my education at a "normal" college. They expected me to go to beautician school or secretary school for a year and then try to get off the system on a hair above minimum wage.... NOT happening!

I lived in an apartment complex with a shitload of women who had four, five, six kids and were pulling down a sum of cash every month that made me want to scream... we're talking $1500 a month plus food stamps, PLUS getting reduced rent! Apparently they had the caseworkers that encouraged them to have more kids, too. Ugh, the agony! In the meantime, I was maxing out my student loans every year so I could keep a roof over our heads while going to school. I was on public assistance for about two years, primarily so I could have the insurance benefits for my kiddo (which college students don't get). The little pittance every month from social services wasn't even enough to cover half the rent, but I couldn't get one without the other.

You should have seen the look on my caseworker's face the day she tactfully suggested, not in so many words of course, that I have another kid and I calmly looked her dead in the eyes and informed her that I was six months out from a hysterectomy, making more children a slighty impossibility LOL It was priceless!

Those years were scary and sometimes when I look back I'm amazed I pulled it off. But it makes me feel damned good to know I was able to get off the system and get on with my life. We now live in suburbia surrounded by soccer moms and Avon ladies. I'd say I did okay

NOTE TO ROCKDADDY: That's a cruddy thing to find out years later, and it sucks that you have to pay for a child that isn't yours. You are a shining example of what I was talking about... the women that abuse the system, thus making it harder on the men. Chin up, hon... 18 won't take forever

Julian Kay · 10-15-2002, 11:04 PM

what pisses me off more is alimony. WTF, it should be called whore money. I agree with Chris Rock, if they get money to keep them in the lifestyle they are used to then we should get a little something too. I was used to getting head a few times a week when I was married so I should be able to stop by every once in a while to collect.

pimplink · 10-15-2002, 11:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Julian Kay
what pisses me off more is alimony. WTF, it should be called whore money. I agree with Chris Rock, if they get money to keep them in the lifestyle they are used to then we should get a little something too. I was used to getting head a few times a week when I was married so I should be able to stop by every once in a while to collect.

Since we're on the sub topic of Chris Rock and Alimony, here's his quote re OJ Simpson

"So let me get this straight, OJ. You're paying your ex-wife thousands of dollars every month and the bitch is sleeping with another guy? OJ, I don't agree [with what you did] but I UNDERSTAND!"

10-15-2002, 11:04 PM	#102
Julian Kay Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Maryland Posts: 108	what pisses me off more is alimony. WTF, it should be called whore money. I agree with Chris Rock, if they get money to keep them in the lifestyle they are used to then we should get a little something too. I was used to getting head a few times a week when I was married so I should be able to stop by every once in a while to collect. __________________ Beer, bikes, chicks and sex, but mostly sex! ICQ#75289737