BREAKING NEWS: Police Chase Down Stolen Doughnut Truck - GoFuckYourself.com

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude · 03-21-2008, 04:05 PM

Had to laugh at this news story:

Quote:

Deputies Nab Doughnut-napper

Published: March 21, 2008 at 6:07 PM

MOLINE, Ill., March 21 (UPI) -- Police in Illinois and Iowa don't even want to think about how it looked chasing a doughnut van, even if it was stolen and crossed state lines.

"I can't imagine what that must have looked like," said Rock Island, Ill., Police Capt. Scott Harris, hinting at the stereotype of cops loving their doughnuts.

A delivery van belonging Donut Delite began its illegal odyssey in Moline, Ill., and ended with a police chase in central Iowa, Quad Cities (Ill.) Online reported.

The driver left the van running while making a delivery at Trinity Medical Center in Rock Island Thursday before dawn. When he couldn't find the van, the driver called police, who issued an all-points bulletin.

A county sheriff in Iowa spotted the van, called reinforcements and a high-speed chase ensued, with speeds topping 100 mph, QConline.com reported. The driver was arrested at gunpoint after officers rammed the van with a vehicle.

The Donut Delite van was returned to its owners in Moline Thursday afternoon -- the Police were rewarded with donuts.

ADG

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude · 03-21-2008, 04:22 PM

Okay, found the picture that I originally wanted to post with the story above...

Now, as a public service, a list of things NOT to say if you get pulled over by the PoPo...

I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas)

Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!

Are You Andy or Barney?

Is it true that guys become cops because they can't work at McDonald's ?

You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

If you'd try the stuff I just had, you wouldn't be so damn uptight.

Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.

When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"

What? You need a license to drive?

Wow, no wonder your wife sleeps around, with your breath!

Is your power a penis substitute?

Yes, I know my driving is not 100%, but you have to agree that it is still pretty good for someone who is completely drunk.

Can you come back in 5 minutes? I'm in the middle of a telephone conversation.

Oops...I thought you were a prostitute.

Do I have any fruits or vegetables? I don't know. Is cocaine a fruit or vegetable?

A hundred dollar fine? Well, I think George Washington can change your mind.

I pay your salary!

Did you pull me over because of the drugs under the seat, the body in the trunk, or the burned out tail-light?

Whoops, that's the fake one... here ya go, this is the one.

Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.

Thanks Officer, that last cop only gave me a warning, too.

My gun fell off my lap and got lodged on the gas pedal.

Hey, is that a 9mm ? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum!

Do you have any idea how much of a hurry I'm in?

You're lucky this car needs a tune-up or you'd have never caught me.

In California we drive like that all the time, what's the problem?

I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

Aren't there real crooks somewhere you should be catching?

Well, those two other guys didn't stop for that school bus either.

Yes, I saw your lights on, but I thought you going to get a doughnut.

Just had to try out that new siren, didn't you?

Do you have any idea who you're talking to?

There's no way I was going 85. I had the cruise set at 80.

That uniform makes your ass look really big.

What's wrong, Ossifer? I swear to drunk I'm not God! And really, there is no blood in my alchohol.

ADG

D Ghost · 03-21-2008, 06:13 PM

Hahahahahha yes.

Fucksakes · 03-21-2008, 06:16 PM

homer simpson did it

Spunky · 03-21-2008, 06:29 PM

Lol..that was probably top priority.

Dagwolf · 03-21-2008, 06:40 PM

That's fucking hilarious. :D Cops chasing a donut truck...

Juicy D. Links · 03-21-2008, 06:48 PM

lololollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude · 03-21-2008, 11:11 PM

ADG

VeriSexy · 03-21-2008, 11:56 PM

bahahah made my day

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude · 03-22-2008, 09:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VeriSexy

bahahah made my day

In that case, my work here is done - book 'em Dan-o...

ADG

AdPatron · 03-22-2008, 09:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AsianDivaGirlsWebDude

ADG

HAHA that is funny!

Violetta · 03-22-2008, 10:21 AM

haha... awsome!

03-21-2008, 04:22 PM	#2
AsianDivaGirlsWebDude Purveyor, Fine Asian Porn Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: San Francisco Bay Area Posts: 38,323	Okay, found the picture that I originally wanted to post with the story above... Now, as a public service, a list of things NOT to say if you get pulled over by the PoPo... I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas) Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in. Aren't you the guy from the Village People? Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job! Are You Andy or Barney? Is it true that guys become cops because they can't work at McDonald's ? You're not gonna check the trunk, are you? If you'd try the stuff I just had, you wouldn't be so damn uptight. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too! Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?" What? You need a license to drive? Wow, no wonder your wife sleeps around, with your breath! Is your power a penis substitute? Yes, I know my driving is not 100%, but you have to agree that it is still pretty good for someone who is completely drunk. Can you come back in 5 minutes? I'm in the middle of a telephone conversation. Oops...I thought you were a prostitute. Do I have any fruits or vegetables? I don't know. Is cocaine a fruit or vegetable? A hundred dollar fine? Well, I think George Washington can change your mind. I pay your salary! Did you pull me over because of the drugs under the seat, the body in the trunk, or the burned out tail-light? Whoops, that's the fake one... here ya go, this is the one. Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence. Thanks Officer, that last cop only gave me a warning, too. My gun fell off my lap and got lodged on the gas pedal. Hey, is that a 9mm ? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum! Do you have any idea how much of a hurry I'm in? You're lucky this car needs a tune-up or you'd have never caught me. In California we drive like that all the time, what's the problem? I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer. Aren't there real crooks somewhere you should be catching? Well, those two other guys didn't stop for that school bus either. Yes, I saw your lights on, but I thought you going to get a doughnut. Just had to try out that new siren, didn't you? Do you have any idea who you're talking to? There's no way I was going 85. I had the cruise set at 80. That uniform makes your ass look really big. What's wrong, Ossifer? I swear to drunk I'm not God! And really, there is no blood in my alchohol. ADG __________________ Asian Diva Girls - Exclusive Photos and Videos Asian Diva Girls Affiliate Program (50% ccBill Revshare)

03-21-2008, 06:29 PM	#5
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,947	Lol..that was probably top priority. __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

03-21-2008, 06:40 PM	#6
Dagwolf President of Canada Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Leaving Hell, Entering Limbo Posts: 23,141	That's fucking hilarious. :D Cops chasing a donut truck... __________________ Sleep well, and dream of large women.

03-21-2008, 11:11 PM	#8
AsianDivaGirlsWebDude Purveyor, Fine Asian Porn Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: San Francisco Bay Area Posts: 38,323	ADG __________________ Asian Diva Girls - Exclusive Photos and Videos Asian Diva Girls Affiliate Program (50% ccBill Revshare)

03-21-2008, 11:56 PM	#9
VeriSexy Join The Royal Family Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 25,463	bahahah made my day __________________ Looking for a KICK ASS TEEN SPONSOR? Check out ROYAL CASH - THE KING OF TEEN! Incredible webmaster tools FHGs, Morphing Blog and RSS Feeds, Embedded FLV & WMV Videos. With TOP RATIO Sites like TeenStarsOnly.com - Earn $$ with our New Site & Bonus Payouts!! ATMovs.com \| iTeenVideo.com \| TeenSexMovs.com \| TeenSexMania.com

03-21-2008, 06:13 PM	#3
D Ghost null Industry Role: Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 9,820	Hahahahahha yes.

03-21-2008, 06:16 PM	#4
Fucksakes Shit... Fuck! What the Hell? Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 7,567	homer simpson did it

03-21-2008, 06:48 PM	#7
Juicy D. Links So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: N.Y. -Long Island -- Posts: 122,992	lololollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

03-22-2008, 10:21 AM	#12
Violetta Affiliate Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 28,735	haha... awsome! __________________ M&A Queen