LEGAL: Where do I find a list of illegal sex acts?

[RedShoe]

I was just speaking with a comedian friend of mine and I told her fisting was illegal. I told her it was ok to shove 100 fingers into a pussy and that's ok, but if a thumbs slips in, it's considered fisting and that's illegal. She was floored. She now wants to read all the other ridiculous and scary laws about sex.

You can fuck a women in the ass, and put one hand on her neck... put two hands on her neck, and you'll get a non-compliance mark from visa.

[lbc213]

Originally Posted by RedShoe

Where do I find a list of illegal sex acts?

On a piece of paper on my fridge door titled "things to do to the GF while she is asleep"

[tony286]

Most wish there was a list, most of it is very grey.

[RedShoe]

Originally Posted by lbc213

On a piece of paper on my fridge door titled "things to do to the GF while she is asleep"

I just want to be able to send her a link so she can do some research, sounds like she is looking for new material for her act.

[NosMo]

Originally Posted by lbc213

On a piece of paper on my fridge door titled "things to do to the GF while she is asleep"

NosMo

[Marshal]

congratulations to the winners!
can we hit the next one soon?

[Marshal]

lol, i posted this in a wrong thread...
i was in the mood for contests, lol!

[spacedog]

-- In Oblong, Illinois, it's punishable by law to make love while
hunting or fishing on your wedding day.

-- In Minnesota, it is illegal for any man to have sexual intercourse
with a live fish. (Apparently it's OK for woman.)

-- No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic,
onions, or sardines on his breath in Alexandria, Minnesota. If his wife
so requests, law mandates that he must brush his teeth.

-- Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn't
allowed to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with
you -- or holding you in his arms.

-- Bozeman, Montana, has a law that bans all sexual activity between
members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown --
if they're nude.

-- In hotels in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, every room is required to
have twin beds. And the beds must always be a minimum of two feet apart
when a couple rents a room for only one night. And it's illegal to make
love on the floor between the beds!

-- The owner of every hotel in Hastings, Nebraska, is required to
provide each guest with a clean and pressed nightshirt. No couple, even
if they are married, may sleep together in the nude. Nor may they have
sex unless they are wearing one of these clean, white cotton
nightshirts.

-- An ordinance in Newcastle, Wyoming, specifically bans couples from
having sex while standing inside a store's walk-in meat freezer!

-- A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called
master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts.

-- In Romboch, Virginia, it is illegal to engage in sexual activity
with the lights on.

-- In Merryville, Missouri, women are prohibited from wearing corsets
because "the privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of
a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American
male."

-- It's safe to make love while parked in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Police
officers aren't allowed to walk up and knock on the window. Any
suspicious officer who thinks that sex is taking place must drive up
from behind, honk his horn three times and wait approximately two
minutes before getting out of his car to investigate.

-- A law in Helena, Montana, mandates that a woman can't dance on a
table in a saloon or bar unless she has on at least three pounds, two
ounces of clothing. (Ouch! These pasties hurt!)

-- Anywhere in the U.S., it's illegal to use any live endangered
species, excepting insects, in public or private sexual displays, shows
or exhibits depicting cross-species sex. (Insectophiles apparently were
successful in their lobbying efforts.)

-- Lovers in Liberty Corner, New Jersey, should avoid satisfying their
lustful urges in a parked car. If the horn accidentally sounds while
they are frolicking behind the wheel, the couple can face a jail term.

-- In Carlsbad, New Mexico, it's legal for couples to have sex in a
parked vehicle during their lunch break from work, as long as the car or
van has drawn curtains to stop strangers from peeking in.

-- Women aren't allowed to wear patent-leather shoes in Cleveland, Ohio
- a man might see the reflection of something "he oughtn't!"

-- No woman may have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance within
the boundaries of Tremonton, Utah. If caught, the woman can be charged
with a sexual misdemeanor and "her name is to be published in the local
newspaper." The man isn't charged nor is his name revealed.

-- It is illegal for any member of the Nevada Legislature to conduct
official business wearing a penis costume while the legislature is in
session.

[tiger]

Actually fucking a woman in the ass is even illegal in some states, as are blowjobs.

Dildos / vibrators and various sex toys are illegal in some states. Really depends on what state you are talking about.

[Fletch XXX]

Originally Posted by tiger

Actually fucking a woman in the ass is even illegal in some states, as are blowjobs.

The U.S. Supreme Court ruled 6-3 that sodomy laws are unconstitutional on June 26, 2003.

[DaddyHalbucks]

See here:

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontl...g/cambria.html

[tony286]

Originally Posted by DaddyHalbucks

See here:

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontl...g/cambria.html

Thats really suggestions to not get in trouble.

[Fletch XXX]

However, its illegal to fuck live chickens probably everywhere in the US...



but....






if you cook it first....



its alll goooood....

[After Shock Media]

[QUOTE=spacedog;13684811 -- It is illegal for any member of the Nevada Legislature to conduct official business wearing a penis costume while the legislature is in session.[/QUOTE]


What is bad is you know they had to have a reason to make this law.

[AsianDivaGirlsWebDude]

Originally Posted by Fletch XXX

The U.S. Supreme Court ruled 6-3 that sodomy laws are unconstitutional on June 26, 2003.

I have fond memories of that day - I celebrate it every year...



ADG

[ExtremeBank_Adam]

Originally Posted by RedShoe

I was just speaking with a comedian friend of mine and I told her fisting was illegal. I told her it was ok to shove 100 fingers into a pussy and that's ok, but if a thumbs slips in, it's considered fisting and that's illegal.

Please show me one... just one... statute or law that says fisting is illegal.

[neewwman]

There is no law that says fisting (or depictions of fisting) is "illegal."

There is no law making depiction of any particular sex act "illegal."

The only thing that is illegal is "obscenity," which means answering "yes" to the following questions:
(a) whether "the average person, applying contemporary community standards" would find that the work, taken as a whole, appeals to the prurient interest
(b) whether the work depicts or describes, in a patently offensive way, sexual conduct specifically defined by the applicable state law; and
(c) whether the work, taken as a whole, lacks serious literary, artistic, political, or scientific value.

Cautious lawyers advise against depictions of fisting because such depictions are more likely to be found to be "patently offensive." Same with facials, pissing in someone's mouth, stuff like that. But no act is inherently "illegal."

By the same token, some jury somewhere might find two fingers in a pussy to be "patently offensive" and suddenly that act is illegal. There are many anti-porn agitators who think all hardcore pornography is prosecutable obscenity and that the government should prosecute it. By their definition, a cock in a pussy is "illegal."

Ultimately, a jury tells you what's "illegal" after your trial and there's no sure way to know before hand.

[Spicoli]

oh my fuck,
ponder this..............

every one of these came from a situation at some point

now read them slowly, and try to imagine...................

Originally Posted by spacedog

-- In Oblong, Illinois, it's punishable by law to make love while
hunting or fishing on your wedding day.

-- In Minnesota, it is illegal for any man to have sexual intercourse
with a live fish. (Apparently it's OK for woman.)

-- No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic,
onions, or sardines on his breath in Alexandria, Minnesota. If his wife
so requests, law mandates that he must brush his teeth.

-- Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn't
allowed to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with
you -- or holding you in his arms.

-- Bozeman, Montana, has a law that bans all sexual activity between
members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown --
if they're nude.

-- In hotels in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, every room is required to
have twin beds. And the beds must always be a minimum of two feet apart
when a couple rents a room for only one night. And it's illegal to make
love on the floor between the beds!

-- The owner of every hotel in Hastings, Nebraska, is required to
provide each guest with a clean and pressed nightshirt. No couple, even
if they are married, may sleep together in the nude. Nor may they have
sex unless they are wearing one of these clean, white cotton
nightshirts.

-- An ordinance in Newcastle, Wyoming, specifically bans couples from
having sex while standing inside a store's walk-in meat freezer!

-- A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called
master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts.

-- In Romboch, Virginia, it is illegal to engage in sexual activity
with the lights on.

-- In Merryville, Missouri, women are prohibited from wearing corsets
because "the privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of
a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American
male."

-- It's safe to make love while parked in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Police
officers aren't allowed to walk up and knock on the window. Any
suspicious officer who thinks that sex is taking place must drive up
from behind, honk his horn three times and wait approximately two
minutes before getting out of his car to investigate.

-- A law in Helena, Montana, mandates that a woman can't dance on a
table in a saloon or bar unless she has on at least three pounds, two
ounces of clothing. (Ouch! These pasties hurt!)

-- Anywhere in the U.S., it's illegal to use any live endangered
species, excepting insects, in public or private sexual displays, shows
or exhibits depicting cross-species sex. (Insectophiles apparently were
successful in their lobbying efforts.)

-- Lovers in Liberty Corner, New Jersey, should avoid satisfying their
lustful urges in a parked car. If the horn accidentally sounds while
they are frolicking behind the wheel, the couple can face a jail term.

-- In Carlsbad, New Mexico, it's legal for couples to have sex in a
parked vehicle during their lunch break from work, as long as the car or
van has drawn curtains to stop strangers from peeking in.

-- Women aren't allowed to wear patent-leather shoes in Cleveland, Ohio
- a man might see the reflection of something "he oughtn't!"

-- No woman may have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance within
the boundaries of Tremonton, Utah. If caught, the woman can be charged
with a sexual misdemeanor and "her name is to be published in the local
newspaper." The man isn't charged nor is his name revealed.

-- It is illegal for any member of the Nevada Legislature to conduct
official business wearing a penis costume while the legislature is in
session.

[NosMo]

Originally Posted by After Shock Media

What is bad is you know they had to have a reason to make this law.

Welcome to Vegas Baby!

L.A. has nothing on us.

NosMo

[Catalyst]

Food Bangers....

I own tunafordinner.com.. but food bangers..

[ExtremeBank_Adam]

Originally Posted by neewwman

There is no law that says fisting (or depictions of fisting) is "illegal."

There is no law making depiction of any particular sex act "illegal."

The only thing that is illegal is "obscenity," which means answering "yes" to the following questions:
(a) whether "the average person, applying contemporary community standards" would find that the work, taken as a whole, appeals to the prurient interest
(b) whether the work depicts or describes, in a patently offensive way, sexual conduct specifically defined by the applicable state law; and
(c) whether the work, taken as a whole, lacks serious literary, artistic, political, or scientific value.

Cautious lawyers advise against depictions of fisting because such depictions are more likely to be found to be "patently offensive." Same with facials, pissing in someone's mouth, stuff like that. But no act is inherently "illegal."

By the same token, some jury somewhere might find two fingers in a pussy to be "patently offensive" and suddenly that act is illegal. There are many anti-porn agitators who think all hardcore pornography is prosecutable obscenity and that the government should prosecute it. By their definition, a cock in a pussy is "illegal."

Ultimately, a jury tells you what's "illegal" after your trial and there's no sure way to know before hand.

My point exactly.

[tiger]

Originally Posted by Fletch XXX

The U.S. Supreme Court ruled 6-3 that sodomy laws are unconstitutional on June 26, 2003.

Yes but the laws are still on the books in some states, and some states still try to enforce them anyway.

http://www.sodomylaws.org/usa/usa.htm

Quote from the page: "The sodomy law map below is prior to Lawrence v. Texas. All states are now white, ie the sodomy laws are unconstitutional and unenforceable. However, some states still attempt to enforce their laws. See Virginia, Oklahoma, and North Carolina. The U.S. Military enforces its sodomy regulation without regard to Lawrence."

[RedShoe]

wow, thanks for all these. I'm sure she'll find a lot of material here. And as for newwman, thanks for the insight, I think that's a little more serious than she was hoping for. I think she was looking for some of the more outrageous ones that spacedog posted.

[DigitalDruid]

i believe its called a bible...... Ive never seen one but i hear this forum is also in it ;)

[DaddyHalbucks]

The obscenity law is pretty bizarre.

It's a crime without any clear definition.

[OzMan]

follow Juicy around for a day

[roly]

Originally Posted by Fletch XXX

However, its illegal to fuck live chickens probably everywhere in the US...



but....






if you cook it first....



its alll goooood....

surely then it's necrophilliac bestiality? although you can eat the evidence

[SexualDragon]

Originally Posted by lbc213

On a piece of paper on my fridge door titled "things to do to the GF while she is asleep"

[Fletch XXX]

Originally Posted by tiger

Yes but the laws are still on the books in some states, and some states still try to enforce them anyway.

incorrect, when was the last time someone was put in prison for sodomy? no one can enforce sodomy laws in the US. Supreme Court decision "invalidates" state sodomy laws.

You cannot be prosecuted and sent to prison for having anal sex. The Supreme court decision in Lawrence vs texas will be used to free anyone even considered for sodomy laws. Once a decision like that is made, it opens the gates.

This is a Federal law vs State Law argument, and we all know who wins.

Supreme Court decision trumps anything a state has to say.

Louisiana has "abortion is illegal" laws too, does that make abortion illegal in Louisiana? No, because Federal law says it is legal.

[VicD]

Originally Posted by spacedog

-- In Oblong, Illinois, it's punishable by law to make love while
hunting or fishing on your wedding day.

-- In Minnesota, it is illegal for any man to have sexual intercourse
with a live fish. (Apparently it's OK for woman.)

-- No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic,
onions, or sardines on his breath in Alexandria, Minnesota. If his wife
so requests, law mandates that he must brush his teeth.

-- Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn't
allowed to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with
you -- or holding you in his arms.

-- Bozeman, Montana, has a law that bans all sexual activity between
members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown --
if they're nude.

-- In hotels in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, every room is required to
have twin beds. And the beds must always be a minimum of two feet apart
when a couple rents a room for only one night. And it's illegal to make
love on the floor between the beds!

-- The owner of every hotel in Hastings, Nebraska, is required to
provide each guest with a clean and pressed nightshirt. No couple, even
if they are married, may sleep together in the nude. Nor may they have
sex unless they are wearing one of these clean, white cotton
nightshirts.

-- An ordinance in Newcastle, Wyoming, specifically bans couples from
having sex while standing inside a store's walk-in meat freezer!

-- A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called
master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts.

-- In Romboch, Virginia, it is illegal to engage in sexual activity
with the lights on.

-- In Merryville, Missouri, women are prohibited from wearing corsets
because "the privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of
a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American
male."

-- It's safe to make love while parked in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Police
officers aren't allowed to walk up and knock on the window. Any
suspicious officer who thinks that sex is taking place must drive up
from behind, honk his horn three times and wait approximately two
minutes before getting out of his car to investigate.

-- A law in Helena, Montana, mandates that a woman can't dance on a
table in a saloon or bar unless she has on at least three pounds, two
ounces of clothing. (Ouch! These pasties hurt!)

-- Anywhere in the U.S., it's illegal to use any live endangered
species, excepting insects, in public or private sexual displays, shows
or exhibits depicting cross-species sex. (Insectophiles apparently were
successful in their lobbying efforts.)

-- Lovers in Liberty Corner, New Jersey, should avoid satisfying their
lustful urges in a parked car. If the horn accidentally sounds while
they are frolicking behind the wheel, the couple can face a jail term.

-- In Carlsbad, New Mexico, it's legal for couples to have sex in a
parked vehicle during their lunch break from work, as long as the car or
van has drawn curtains to stop strangers from peeking in.

-- Women aren't allowed to wear patent-leather shoes in Cleveland, Ohio
- a man might see the reflection of something "he oughtn't!"

-- No woman may have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance within
the boundaries of Tremonton, Utah. If caught, the woman can be charged
with a sexual misdemeanor and "her name is to be published in the local
newspaper." The man isn't charged nor is his name revealed.

-- It is illegal for any member of the Nevada Legislature to conduct
official business wearing a penis costume while the legislature is in
session.

What stone age country is this