what they think doesnt matter... if you feel good to meet them just go and meet them... if you dont, then dont go... but its always good to make new contacts... especially when its kind of a freely meeting, with open bars etc. that always loosens everyone up. Ive always felt good about family gatherings because like i said we're all kinda on the same level.. I think when i didnt have school or alot of friends i hang out with id definalty go... always in for suprsises, be open minded and just bullshit around with them, but i dont know if your fam is uptight or is kinda free thinking like my family is.. it all depends

It was a sobering experience ......

I think a lot of it is old people. Like 50 plus, maybe even lots of really old folks, like grandma'ish age wise.

It's not at a bar. It's at a memorial thing. Not a funeral of someone who died but a memorial of someone who died a long time ago in the family. I have no idea of who. It's just something old people like to do.

I bet they will be nice but more like uptight.

To other people who haven't responded yet, if your old parents asked you to meet your extended family would you? Would you feel like you were doing them a huge favor or is it nothing like no big deal really?

Your parents are proud of you, why else would they want to introduce you? Play along, behave, your parents will owe you one :2 cents:

I don't think it's mainly that, I think it's more cause I have never met them before... Also, it's not my "parents". It's my dad who wants me to meet HIS side of the family. I already was forced to meet my mothers side of the family when I was younger.

When I was younger I was forced to go to family functions and now I'm older I guess I'm still being forced. I guess some things never change.

If you were a mouth breathing, booger eating, moron would your father want to introduce you? Course not, he's proud of you dude :thumbsup

Probably he would too even if I was a moron. It's weird if the whole family knows he had an offspring but never met them, they would be wondering forever...

Isn't it really stressful to meet your family? And they aren't even close family btw... Plus of course they all will be asking "what do you do" etc and I already have good ideas of what to say "internet advertising" or "seo" or whatever bullshit. It's just that I get nervous and anxious when I lie. I feel like they can tell and I get butterflies. Obviously you can understand I have to bend the truth if the folks are like 60 years old, or even 70 etc....

Yes almost on a yearly basis, the most I have seen of m extended family was at my grandmother funeral, my grand mother had 15 children, 6 aunts and 13 uncles,

whoever could attend was there, and the house ain't that big. There was pictures on my facebook of the event all the blood related families were wearing white or cream at the funeral, it was just a giant sea of white and cream.

Does your extended family know what you do?

Also, this is not directed to anyone in particular but just in general, only for people who haven't responded yet. Do you have to be "forced to" in order to meet your extended family or would you do it out of your own free will?

Do you think it's a big deal to meet them or do you think they are just people and that it's good to make contacts etc?

Do you think you would be doing your parent a big favor by meeting your extended family or is it not a big deal since you think it's normal to meet your extended family?

My grandfather on my mother's side had 10 brothers and a sister. Four of them lived on the same street and two more lived in the same town as my grandparents, so I saw them all the time growing up.

I would spend the summers at my grandparents' house and played with my cousins and second-cousins every day.

Only 1 brother and the sister are still living, but I see my mom's cousins and their kids all the time whem I visit.

I also saw my grandma's brothers and sisters and their families all the time, but really didn't like spending too much time around those hillbillies.

My father's side was not real close. I didn't know my dad had an older half-sister until after I was an adult. I knew my grandpa's brother and his kids as well as my grandma's sister and two of her cousins. One of the cousins visits every Christmas or Thanksgiving, but that's the extent of contact with that side of the family.

Well, I don't know what exactly is the buzz in your case.

Do whatever you feel is right, I am lucky enough I don't have any issues with the rest of the family that's my blood and that's still out there, so we are a family and a great friends and would stand for each other, I can confirm that now after we went through hell recently.

I doubt there are many cases like this, because usually there are serious issues within the family, noone can fuck you over just because they are family and if there are issues, let them face it. Crimes within the family and abuse or spoiling the kids is the worst thing out there, that's where real future problems start.

That's for a bit of philosophy talk at the board that behaves like a mental hospital community itself for the most of the time.

They all do, but in my family there is criminals, whores, rapist, rastas so it didn't really matter.

No, no one in my family ever fucked me over or anything! I am just nervous about meeting them in general, just because of general nervousness I suppose, and also because perhaps they will think I wasn't ambitious enough in life. I have cousins that went to Ivy League schools and who are doctors, professionals, etc I never went to college as well, and if I say I do online advertising I'm afraid they'll be like wtf.

I think a lot of the family members are old too, like over 50 or whatever, and you know how it is dealing with old people. Nothing against really old people.

Plus I don't feel the NEED to meet them.I feel like I don't HAVE to. I don't see the point. I feel like when I was younger my family forced me to go to family functions and I dreaded it. I couldn't wait until I could move out and not have to deal with it anymore.

Sorry to hear that...

Other people, what would you do if you were forced to meet extended family? Would you be stressed, would you be able to handle it? Would you feel like you were doing your parents a big favor, if you went, or do you think it's normal to meet your family and therefore it's no big deal either and you aren't really doing them much of a favor, that extended family are "just people" just after all so it's nothing to worry or make a big deal about??

And how do you feel about being "forced" as an adult? Not forced but knowing they would be disappointed if you didn't go? Do you think that being part of an adult is doing things that you don't have to do and that you don't have to do but sometimes you should just to make life more easygoing, or to make someone happy? Or do you feel that since you're an adult u can do whatever the fuck u want, fuck social conventions and everyone else.

yes i met my extended family

Did you think it was a big deal? were you stressed? Do you think it's a big deal for someone to ask you to meet your own family or do you think it's no big deal and that you want to meet them anyways since they are related so you don't care...

How would you feel if someone asked you to meet them as a favor? Like your parents for example? Would you do it and just think it's no big deal? Or would you be slightly irritated??

Yes, but that is different because you grew up around them. What if someone asked you to meet some extended family you have never met now? Would you do it? Would you felt like you were doing them a big favor or would you not care? Would you consider them asking a lot of you for you to meet them, or do you not care?

I am really stressed about possibly having to meet them. It's bothering me a lot.

nope idk, any of my family but my mom, dad and my sister's thats bout it "(
but it whtevr i guess

I met my father's half-sister that we didn't know about until I was an adult. I was glad to meet her and did not feel anxious or put out to do so.

But that was only one person. I have to meet like a hundred. of course nto each one separately, but a lot of them will be there.

Better yet, I met the family historian.

My father died when I was nine months old so I wasn't too close to his entire side of the family. When my grandmother (my father's mother) passed away four years ago, I made the rare trip home to NJ and met the rest of the family and the family historian. Turns out she does this kind of stuff for a living at a large college, and she was a wealth of information.

All my life I thought I was Russian & Polish... Turns out I'm Irish.

That explains a lot!

in 2 years we may have a big family get together, 50 people or so

we had such a one 8 year ago

cant say that i care either way

dont know most of them, dont plan of making 'friends', everyone has his own life in different part of the world, but meeting them, i dont really see it as a problem either

I've met most all of my moms side of that family, they were all very close so we have family functions all the time.

My dads side of the family is not so close, to the point I don't know any of my cousins or even my aunts.

I don't and I don't want to....I had a freaky incident one day.....I was living in
Spain for already 4 years.....I was invited to some BBQ party of a person I met
in Spain and didn't know this person before that.......at the party some dickhead
shows up and within 15 mins I grabbed him by the throat and politely told him to lay
low or to get his ass handed to him on a silver platter......

All calms down and everybody goes his way.....then 20 minutes later this dude
comes over to me and says....I'm sorry I'm not looking for trouble but I just got
told your name is Hans Waasdorp.....and I was wondering if we might be family
coz my last name is Waasdorp too......long story short turned out to be a full
cousin I never met before in my life and till this day wished I still hadn't......:1orglaugh

I still get bullied with the ordeal till this very day.....bunch off loser friends I have

It's family you can't really change who they are your stuck with them until the day you die. and hopefully next time around I will be able to pick a different set of family.