Don't Fuck With God - 9 Most Badass Bible Verses

**MediaGuy** · 04-12-2008, 02:51 PM

bump for comments

**brandonstills** · 04-12-2008, 02:56 PM

The five most constipated people in the Bible:

1. Cain-who wasn't able.
2. King Solomon-who sat on the throne for forty years.
3. King David-who neither Heaven nor Earth could move.
4. Moses-who took two tablets and went up into the mountains.
5. Noah-who spent 40 days and 40 nights on the ark and passed nothing but water.

**AsianDivaGirlsWebDude** · 04-12-2008, 02:58 PM

Leviticus 11:6:

"The rabbit, though it chews the cud, does not have a split hoof; it
is unclean for you."

ADG

**SexualDragon** · 04-12-2008, 03:24 PM

Originally posted by MediaGuy

I Had to Share...

sample: "There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses."
- Ezekiel 23: 19-20

http://www.cracked.com/article_15699...le-verses.html

lusted as in......sucked?

**qxm** · 04-12-2008, 03:25 PM

Originally posted by AsianDivaGirlsWebDude

Leviticus 11:6:

"The rabbit, though it chews the cud, does not have a split hoof; it
is unclean for you."

ADG

haha lol......good one

**SexualDragon** · 04-12-2008, 03:26 PM

I asked a bible thumper years ago about #9Moses and his killing eye for an eye. he said"the 10 comanadments were not written then

**CaptainHowdy** · 04-12-2008, 03:31 PM

Originally posted by AsianDivaGirlsWebDude

Leviticus 11:6:

"The rabbit, though it chews the cud, does not have a split hoof; it
is unclean for you."

ADG

...

**MediaGuy** · 04-12-2008, 04:54 PM

Fuck. Yeah.

**Holly** · 04-12-2008, 05:58 PM

The Old Testament is straight up nasty. Flat out sex stories that most people would never let their kids read.

**Spunky** · 04-12-2008, 06:23 PM

Blasphemy,repent sinners Jesus forgives everybody

**brandonstills** · 04-12-2008, 06:26 PM

Originally posted by SexualDragon

I asked a bible thumper years ago about #9Moses and his killing eye for an eye. he said"the 10 comanadments were not written then

Most biblical scholars say that the times were different then. If they taught the turn the other cheek stuff the people would halve laughed at it. Actually eye for any eye was pretty revolutionary. Because if you stole from someone they would just kill you. Eye for and eye said if they steal then you only get to chop off their hand in effect.

**Kard63** · 04-12-2008, 07:48 PM

funny ass shit

**Walrus** · 04-12-2008, 08:33 PM

Have any of you ever visited the biblical sites of Sodom and Gomorrah?

**munki** · 04-12-2008, 08:36 PM

Originally posted by brandonstills

The five most constipated people in the Bible:

1. Cain-who wasn't able.
2. King Solomon-who sat on the throne for forty years.
3. King David-who neither Heaven nor Earth could move.
4. Moses-who took two tablets and went up into the mountains.
5. Noah-who spent 40 days and 40 nights on the ark and passed nothing but water.

**woj** · 04-12-2008, 08:37 PM

some interesting quotes

**AsianDivaGirlsWebDude** · 04-12-2008, 08:40 PM

Originally posted by Walrus

Have any of you ever visited the biblical sites of Sodom and Gomorrah?

I have a friend that did Sodom and then caught Gomorrah...thank God for Tetracycline.

ADG

**CDSmith** · 04-12-2008, 09:08 PM

Originally posted by MediaGuy

http://www.cracked.com/article_15699...le-verses.html

The guys who wrote that have skills.

Some of the user comments on that page are priceless...

mjj3609: "you should have seen the face on my priest when I read big cock bastards quote!! I go to this bible study sessions and this quote really pissed people up jajaja LATERS!"

TulipOHare: "My personal favorite is Judges 4:14-22. The Israelites have kicked an army's ass nine ways to Tuesday and the army's general is fleeing the battlefield alone on foot. He runs so far he actually ends up in the Israelite settlement. A woman recognizes him and offers to hide him in her tent. She gives him milk to drink, and he falls asleep. Then (according to the NIV) she "picked up a tent peg and a hammer and went quietly to him while he lay fast asleep, exhausted. She drove the peg through his temple into the ground, and he died." Jewish women are hardcore. Don't say the Bible didn't warn you.

Befofbones: "HAHAHAHAHA! This is totally why I'm a religion major."

666omega666: "This article only proves that I am 100% Egyptian."

**AsianDivaGirlsWebDude** · 04-13-2008, 02:41 AM

What God does on his day off:

ADG

Don't Fuck With God - 9 Most Badass Bible Verses

Don't Fuck With God - 9 Most Badass Bible Verses

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