Need a Coder for a Simple Job - GoFuckYourself.com

minusonebit · 11-23-2007, 01:40 PM

Who can write me a relatively simple WordPress plugin that will:

1. Check to see if a visitor to a WordPress blog is infected with Zango.

2. If they ARE infected, record the date and time of thier access, their referrer (if available), their IP address, their user agent information and their OS. Additionally, record their subsequent footsteps on the site (every page they visit, the URL of the page, the time they accessed said page page). All this info is to be saved in the same MySQL database as WP runs from, but in its own indexed table.

3. Send me a plain text e-mail (no HTML mail) with a summary report in a nice, printable format of each and every incident to an e-mail address I specify. If at all possible, these reports should not exceed one page when printed on letter sized paper.

4. Have absolutely no chance of false positives. I want only Zango-infected people tracked and logged.

5. Provide me with a one to three page written document that explains in technical detail exactly how the program works, how it avoids false positives and why it can be relied upon to provide accurate information. This needs to be a good document designed to convince someone who believes that the program is BS and change their mind.

6. Provide me with an affidavit, sworn to in the presence of a notary public (which I will draw up and provide to you) attesting under the penalties of perjury, that you are the sole author of the program (source code will be attached as an exhibit), that you have a good faith belief that it will function in a manner that will allow it to satisfy all of the requirements above and that you have personally tested the program to ensure that it is functioning in compliance with the spec above.

Please reply with your bid and when you can have it done by. Due to the logistics of requirement #6, the successful candidate MUST live in the United States, be willing to swear to the affidavit, produce any needed identification to the notary public and be of majority age.

Do not ask me for more information on why I want this. For those with half a brain, the implications are fairly obvious.

minusonebit · 11-24-2007, 07:57 PM

Still looking for someone to do this.

justFred · 11-24-2007, 08:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by minusonebit

Do not ask me for more information on why I want this. For those with half a brain, the implications are fairly obvious.

you can say that again.

but DAYAM, that would be a great project to be part of, if only I had any intention of ever doing business with you.

I wish you the best of luck in taking down Zango, because I hate them almost as much as I hate you.

After Shock Media · 11-24-2007, 08:10 PM

Go to rentacoder and then specify that you need US coders only.
You can set the timeline, and by using their escrow you have little chance of loosing anything.

k0nr4d · 11-24-2007, 08:25 PM

I could do this, but I'm not in the US nor willing to write a 3 page essay explaining how 30 lines of code work

2012 · 11-24-2007, 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dickbeater

For those with half a brain, the implications are fairly obvious.

You sound like fun to work with.

I have one

If someone had 5 and 6 why would they need to give it to you when they could sell it themselves ...

good luck

Mutt · 11-24-2007, 08:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by k0nr4d

I could do this, but I'm not in the US nor willing to write a 3 page essay explaining how 30 lines of code work

minusonebit · 11-24-2007, 08:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by justFred

you can say that again.

but DAYAM, that would be a great project to be part of, if only I had any intention of ever doing business with you.

I wish you the best of luck in taking down Zango, because I hate them almost as much as I hate you.

Are you trolling for a cookie or something?

If you don't have something relevant to add, don't post anything.
Don't want to do the work, don't post anything.

StuartD · 11-24-2007, 08:50 PM

All I can say is

aico · 11-24-2007, 08:54 PM

your momma should have hit you over the head and sold the milk.

minusonebit · 11-24-2007, 09:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by After Shock Media

Go to rentacoder and then specify that you need US coders only.
You can set the timeline, and by using their escrow you have little chance of loosing anything.

Thanks ASM, I might wind up doing that since it is becoming more and more difficult to do business here.

2012 · 11-24-2007, 09:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by minusonebit

Thanks ASM, I might wind up doing that since it is becoming more and more difficult to do business here.

don't you think posting webmaster personal information on your blog had something to do with it ?

justFred · 11-24-2007, 10:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by minusonebit

Are you trolling for a cookie or something?

If you don't have something relevant to add, don't post anything.
Don't want to do the work, don't post anything.

nobody likes you

idiot.

minusonebit · 11-24-2007, 10:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by justFred

nobody likes you

idiot.

I guess its a good thing I am not here for fiends then. Dickhead.

Quote:

Originally Posted by fartfly

don't you think posting webmaster personal information on your blog had something to do with it ?

I don't really care what the reason is for it. I'll do what I like with MY websites. Thank you very much. But I think it is more related to the number of trolls that inhabit this place these days.

2012 · 11-24-2007, 11:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by minusonebit

I'll do what I like with MY websites.

good luck with that

11-23-2007, 01:40 PM	#1
minusonebit So Fucking Banned Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: [email protected] Posts: 7,391	Need a Coder for a Simple Job Who can write me a relatively simple WordPress plugin that will: 1. Check to see if a visitor to a WordPress blog is infected with Zango. 2. If they ARE infected, record the date and time of thier access, their referrer (if available), their IP address, their user agent information and their OS. Additionally, record their subsequent footsteps on the site (every page they visit, the URL of the page, the time they accessed said page page). All this info is to be saved in the same MySQL database as WP runs from, but in its own indexed table. 3. Send me a plain text e-mail (no HTML mail) with a summary report in a nice, printable format of each and every incident to an e-mail address I specify. If at all possible, these reports should not exceed one page when printed on letter sized paper. 4. Have absolutely no chance of false positives. I want only Zango-infected people tracked and logged. 5. Provide me with a one to three page written document that explains in technical detail exactly how the program works, how it avoids false positives and why it can be relied upon to provide accurate information. This needs to be a good document designed to convince someone who believes that the program is BS and change their mind. 6. Provide me with an affidavit, sworn to in the presence of a notary public (which I will draw up and provide to you) attesting under the penalties of perjury, that you are the sole author of the program (source code will be attached as an exhibit), that you have a good faith belief that it will function in a manner that will allow it to satisfy all of the requirements above and that you have personally tested the program to ensure that it is functioning in compliance with the spec above. Please reply with your bid and when you can have it done by. Due to the logistics of requirement #6, the successful candidate MUST live in the United States, be willing to swear to the affidavit, produce any needed identification to the notary public and be of majority age. Do not ask me for more information on why I want this. For those with half a brain, the implications are fairly obvious.

11-24-2007, 08:10 PM	#4
After Shock Media It's coming look busy Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn". Posts: 35,299	Go to rentacoder and then specify that you need US coders only. You can set the timeline, and by using their escrow you have little chance of loosing anything. __________________ [email protected] ICQ:135982156 AIM: Aftershockmed1a MSN: [email protected]

11-24-2007, 08:25 PM	#5
k0nr4d Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Poland Posts: 9,229	I could do this, but I'm not in the US nor willing to write a 3 page essay explaining how 30 lines of code work __________________ Mechanical Bunny Media Mechbunny Tube Script \| Mechbunny Webcam Aggregator Script \| Custom Web Development

11-24-2007, 08:50 PM	#9
StuartD Sofa King Band Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Outside the box Posts: 29,903	All I can say is __________________ This is me on facebook This is me on twitter

11-24-2007, 07:57 PM	#2
minusonebit So Fucking Banned Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: [email protected] Posts: 7,391	Still looking for someone to do this.

11-24-2007, 08:54 PM	#10
aico Moo Moo Cow Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Washington State Posts: 14,748	your momma should have hit you over the head and sold the milk.