5 Corporate Lessons - GoFuckYourself.com

RevSand · 09-24-2007, 03:08 AM

These might be old but they still hold true... Last one is a great lesson for many here...

Corporate Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel," After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands Naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the Husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Corporate Lesson 2:

A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand Slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized. Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you Might miss a great opportunity.

Corporate Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish." "Me first! Me first!" says the admin. clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone. "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch"

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

Corporate Lesson 4:

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.

Corporate Lesson 5:

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to Get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

HS-Trixxxia · 09-24-2007, 03:27 AM

Great ones - it should actually be a prerequisite read to signing up on GFY!

DamageX · 09-24-2007, 03:28 AM

Lovely.

Sarah_Jayne · 09-24-2007, 03:45 AM

I feel like there should be motivational posters up on the wall.

AGS-17 · 09-24-2007, 03:48 AM

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it. interesting..

BlueDesignStudios · 09-24-2007, 04:40 AM

hehe fantastic!

Bro Media - BANNED FOR LIFE · 09-24-2007, 05:02 AM

nice, the bullshit one is so true

CurrentlySober · 09-24-2007, 05:02 AM

Very good thanks

alby_persignup · 09-24-2007, 06:30 AM

swweeetttttt!!!

F U S I O N · 09-24-2007, 06:40 AM

Good ones!

Richard - Triplexcash · 09-24-2007, 07:29 AM

Excellent, thanks!

Vick! · 10-04-2007, 01:40 AM

I just found this while searching something, these are so true. I am surprised it only get 10 replies ..

JuiceMonkey · 10-04-2007, 01:58 AM

this is great! haha

09-24-2007, 03:08 AM	#1
RevSand Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Porn Valley Posts: 8,151	5 Corporate Lessons These might be old but they still hold true... Last one is a great lesson for many here... Corporate Lesson 1: A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel," After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands Naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the Husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?" Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure. Corporate Lesson 2: A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand Slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized. Sorry sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory." Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you Might miss a great opportunity. Corporate Lesson 3: A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish." "Me first! Me first!" says the admin. clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone. "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch" Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say. Corporate Lesson 4: A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up. Corporate Lesson 5: A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to Get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree. Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there. __________________ BadBitchesGoodWeed Hire me for all your video shooting needs!! Skype = RevSandx

09-24-2007, 03:27 AM	#2
HS-Trixxxia Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Montreal Canada Posts: 2,946	Great ones - it should actually be a prerequisite read to signing up on GFY! __________________ ~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~♥~~ Patrizia COO - ♥ MassiveDollars Email: patrizia at MassiveDollars dot com ICQ: 465.826.441 Yahoo: trixxxia_me MSN: trixxxia at hotmail dot com

09-24-2007, 03:28 AM	#3
DamageX Marketing & Strategy Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Former nomad Posts: 14,293	Lovely. __________________ Whitehat is for chumps If you don't do it, somebody else will - true story!

09-24-2007, 04:40 AM	#6
BlueDesignStudios Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Australia Posts: 9,492	hehe fantastic! __________________ Blue Design Studios - Adult Design Specialists! Email me for a free quote: [email protected]

09-24-2007, 05:02 AM	#8
CurrentlySober Too lazy to wipe my ass Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: A Public Bathroom Posts: 38,646	Very good thanks __________________ My AI Handywork... My Dream Gal... XXX 👁️ 👍️ 💩

09-24-2007, 03:45 AM	#4
Sarah_Jayne Now with more Jayne Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 40,077	I feel like there should be motivational posters up on the wall.

09-24-2007, 03:48 AM	#5
AGS-17 Confirmed User Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 1,402	A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it. interesting..

09-24-2007, 05:02 AM	#7
Bro Media - BANNED FOR LIFE MOBILE PORN: IMOBILEPORN Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Tinseltown NL Posts: 16,502	nice, the bullshit one is so true

09-24-2007, 06:30 AM	#9
alby_persignup Confirmed User Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,119	swweeetttttt!!! __________________ OnProbation Links Directory \| OnProbation Design Services \| OnProbation Cash

09-24-2007, 06:40 AM	#10
F U S I O N Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 1,898	Good ones!

09-24-2007, 07:29 AM	#11
Richard - Triplexcash Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 915	Excellent, thanks! __________________ Richard [email protected] ICQ: 322574184

10-04-2007, 01:40 AM	#12
Vick! Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: 20 00'24.00" N, 75 09'00.00 W Posts: 6,882	I just found this while searching something, these are so true. I am surprised it only get 10 replies .. __________________ Affordable Quality Web Hosting

10-04-2007, 01:58 AM	#13
JuiceMonkey Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Brisbane/Vancouver/SanFran Posts: 3,581	this is great! haha __________________ ICQ: 72251955 GTalk: JuiceMonkey