The top 100 reasons it's great to be a guy...How accurate is it?

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  • Semi-Retired-Dave
    Too lazy to set a custom title
    • Apr 2004
    • 11190

    #1

    The top 100 reasons it's great to be a guy...How accurate is it?

    1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
    2. Movie nudity is virtually always female.
    3. You know stuff about tanks.
    4. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.
    5. Monday Night Football.
    6. You don't have to monitor your friends sex lives.
    7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
    8. You can open all your own jars.
    9. Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight.
    10. Dry cleaners and haircutter's don't rob you blind.
    11. When clicking through the channel, you don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying.
    12. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
    13. All your orgasms are real.
    14. A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.
    15. Guys in hockey masks don't attack you.
    16. You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.
    17. You understand why Stripes is funny.
    18. You can go to the bathroom with out a support group.
    19. Your last name stays put.
    20. You can leave a hotel bed unmade.
    21. When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.
    22. You can kill your own food.
    23. The garage is all yours.
    24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
    25. You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.
    26. Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
    27. You never have to clean the toilet.
    28. You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
    29. Sex means never worrying about your reputation.
    30. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
    31. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
    32. Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.
    33. The National College Cheerleading Championship
    34. None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.
    35. You don't have to shave below your neck.
    36. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every nite.
    37. If you're 34 and single nobody notices.
    38. You can write your name in the snow.
    39. You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest.
    40. Everything on your face stays its original color.
    41. Chocolate is just another snack.
    42. You can be president.
    43. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
    44. Flowers fix everything.
    45. You never have to worry about other people's feelings.
    46. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.
    47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
    48. Three pair of shoes are more than enough.
    49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
    50. You can say anything and not worry about what people think.
    51. Foreplay is optional.
    52. Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.
    53. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room.
    54. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
    55. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming by.
    56. You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.
    57. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
    58. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
    59. You can watch a game in silence with you buddy for hours without even thinking (He must be mad at me)
    60. The world is your urinal.
    61. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you.
    62. You get to jump up and slap stuff.
    63. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
    64. One mood, all the time.
    65. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.
    66. You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too skeevy.
    67. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
    68. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing.
    69. Same work....more pay.
    70. Gray hair and wrinkles add character.
    71. You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.
    72. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
    73. You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back.
    74. With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory.
    75. You don't mooch off others' desserts.
    76. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
    77. The remote is yours and yours alone.
    78. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
    79. ESPN's sports center.
    80. You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
    81. Bachelor parties whomp ass over bridal showers.
    82. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
    83. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.
    84. You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom.
    85. If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell you friends you've changed.
    86. Someday you'll be a dirty old man.
    87. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "F*#k it!"
    88. If an other guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.
    89. Princess Di's death was almost just another obituary.
    90. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
    91. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the mood.
    92. You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.
    93. If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.
    94. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
    95. Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.
    96. You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.
    97. Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.
    98. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So...notice anything different?"
    99. Baywatch
    100. There is always a game on somewhere.
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  • Juicy D. Links
    So Fucking Banned
    • Apr 2001
    • 122992

    #2
    Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
    loll VERY TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Comment

    • Semi-Retired-Dave
      Too lazy to set a custom title
      • Apr 2004
      • 11190

      #3
      Originally posted by Juicy D. Links
      Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
      loll VERY TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!
      WOW, you have a long way to go..30 seconds way too long. I think I invented Texting.
      Support a Good Cause

      Comment

      • teg0
        Confirmed User
        • Jan 2006
        • 4204

        #4
        60. The world is your urinal.

        lol

        Comment

        • After Shock Media
          It's coming look busy
          • Mar 2001
          • 35299

          #5
          I find humor in number 15.

          [email protected] ICQ:135982156 AIM: Aftershockmed1a MSN: [email protected]

          Comment

          • Juicy D. Links
            So Fucking Banned
            • Apr 2001
            • 122992

            #6
            Originally posted by CyberAge-Dave
            WOW, you have a long way to go..30 seconds way too long. I think I invented Texting.
            my texting has gone down since i got rid of my blackberry

            i miss my blackberry

            that fucking thing was addicting man

            Comment

            • Semi-Retired-Dave
              Too lazy to set a custom title
              • Apr 2004
              • 11190

              #7
              Originally posted by Juicy D. Links
              my texting has gone down since i got rid of my blackberry

              i miss my blackberry

              that fucking thing was addicting man
              Best thing you could have done, I look at my phone every 3 minutes. IT's so addicting.
              Support a Good Cause

              Comment

              • tony299
                lurker
                • Aug 2002
                • 57021

                #8
                I like chatting on the phone

                Comment

                • CaptainHowdy
                  Too lazy to set a custom title
                  • Dec 2004
                  • 94744

                  #9
                  Originally posted by CyberAge-Dave
                  51. Foreplay is optional.
                  52. Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.
                  !

                  Comment

                  • woj
                    <&(©¿©)&>
                    • Jul 2002
                    • 47882

                    #10
                    sounds about right
                    Custom Software Development, email: woj#at#wojfun#.#com to discuss details or skype: wojl2000 or gchat: wojfun or telegram: wojl2000
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                    • ProducerCashDave
                      Confirmed User
                      • Jun 2006
                      • 3983

                      #11
                      Im loving it
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                      David K. | Account Manager | www.ProducerCash.com
                      ICQ: 480757149 | david AT producercash DOT com
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                      Comment

                      • SteveLightspeed
                        Confirmed User
                        • Jul 2001
                        • 7940

                        #12
                        Originally posted by CyberAge-Dave
                        2. Movie nudity is virtually always female.
                        14. A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.
                        26. Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
                        33. The National College Cheerleading Championship
                        58. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
                        70. Gray hair and wrinkles add character.
                        86. Someday you'll be a dirty old man.
                        92. You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.
                        97. Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.

                        Abra-cadabra!

                        Comment

                        • Penthouse Tony
                          Confirmed User
                          • Apr 2004
                          • 5835

                          #13
                          pretty good list
                          aamos AT FFN dot com
                          Penthouse.com Business Development
                          ICQ: 49090846 | Yahoo IM: ff_aamos

                          Comment

                          • Pornwolf
                            Drunk and Unruly
                            • Jan 2002
                            • 22712

                            #14
                            That's all pretty true. Some aren't good but they are true.

                            I wonder if women can make one that has that many entries.
                            I've trusted my sites to them for over a decade...

                            Webair, bitches.

                            Comment

                            • Spunky
                              I need a beer
                              • Jun 2002
                              • 133987

                              #15
                              I already am
                              86. Someday you'll be a dirty old man

                              Comment

                              • Semi-Retired-Dave
                                Too lazy to set a custom title
                                • Apr 2004
                                • 11190

                                #16
                                Originally posted by Spunky
                                I already am
                                86. Someday you'll be a dirty old man
                                You're 86 and an old man, or you are already an old man?
                                Support a Good Cause

                                Comment

                                • ADL Josh
                                  Confirmed User
                                  • Feb 2007
                                  • 3026

                                  #17
                                  lol, pretty good list there!
                                  ICQ: 395-433-632

                                  Comment

                                  • Farang
                                    one sick puppy
                                    • Oct 2004
                                    • 11718

                                    #18
                                    fbm

                                    Comment

                                    • dissipate
                                      The Dirty Frenchman
                                      • Nov 2005
                                      • 8904

                                      #19
                                      it's great to have a dick

                                      Comment

                                      • Angie77
                                        Confirmed User
                                        • Aug 2007
                                        • 1356

                                        #20
                                        Flowers don't fix everything.
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                                        Comment

                                        • tranza
                                          ICQ: 197-556-237
                                          • Jun 2003
                                          • 57559

                                          #21
                                          Lol, nice list.......
                                          I'm just a newbie.

                                          Comment

                                          • tranza
                                            ICQ: 197-556-237
                                            • Jun 2003
                                            • 57559

                                            #22
                                            Lol, nice list.......
                                            I'm just a newbie.

                                            Comment

                                            • tranza
                                              ICQ: 197-556-237
                                              • Jun 2003
                                              • 57559

                                              #23
                                              GFY is acting funny again. I'm getting database errors everywhere.

                                              Sorry for the double post.

                                              I'm just a newbie.

                                              Comment

                                              • thumbsdepot
                                                Confirmed User
                                                • Dec 2002
                                                • 778

                                                #24
                                                How come no one is adding to the list. I guess i'll start.
                                                101. We don't buy stuff we don't need because it's on sale.

                                                Comment

                                                • PornMogul
                                                  Confirmed User
                                                  • May 2007
                                                  • 1495

                                                  #25
                                                  I read the first 20 maybe and then gave up.

                                                  Comment

                                                  • Semi-Retired-Dave
                                                    Too lazy to set a custom title
                                                    • Apr 2004
                                                    • 11190

                                                    #26
                                                    Originally posted by thumbsdepot
                                                    How come no one is adding to the list. I guess i'll start.
                                                    101. We don't buy stuff we don't need because it's on sale.
                                                    Like 100 wasn't enough..But you can add another 100. It's all yours.
                                                    Support a Good Cause

                                                    Comment

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