I'm posting this one for Lincoln!

http://www.homegrowngazette.com/farl/Mullman.jpg

I've been wondering where all my employees were all day, and then I realized they've all been glued to this thread. Damn you Sleazy! :)

Well turns out because I don't have enough GFY posts I can't post all my awesome evil pictures. Don't worry, Farrell, Jact is going to post them for me :)

So instead let me tell you all about one of my more unique jobs here at Homegrown.

When I first started, I was given the job of writing press releases and getting the word out on how awesome Homegrown is, since that is what I was going to college to do.

Well this company is a very easy sell to both adult and mainstream media, and soon we had a lot of great press opportunities.

Now we all know that Farrell is very social and charming and has no problem talking to anyone, especially about his favorite subject: Porn and why Homegrown Video rocks.

However, when it came to some of our bigger, more mainstream press opportunities such as programs on HBO or MTV, like all people, Farrell would get a bit nervous in his interviews, as of course he wanted them to go as great as possible. And of course, nerves and hot lights can lead to sweating.

Now, most people sweat from their hair line, or their upper lip, or their armpits. Superhuman Farrell does not have those average sweat glands, however. No, he has two, located in the middle of his forehead, one above each eyebrow where it arches.

And he doesn't get slightly moist, or dewy, or glisten like a morning rose, but those two little holes POUR water, with the kind of water pressure you hope and pray your hotel shower will have.

Of course during an interview discussing the business of porn, obvious signs of sweat will make someone think you are nervous with something to hide, or paint you as a shifty character.

I couldn't let Farrell, Mr Peace & Love Everyone is Beautiful Hippy, come off as anything less than his upstanding self so I rushed in with the papertowels to dab his brow. Then again. And Again. And yeah, again.

A good employee will go over and beyond, and obviously Farrell is very lucky to have me!

*And if any of you start calling me Sweat-Rag Stef I will shank you.

I think the head was photoshopped onto the body in that last pic. lol

ORGY FOR WORLD PEACE!!!


and SEX FOR LIFE TOO-

I just had to throw those names in there to see if I jar anymore memories for FAR-L

:-))

Gah, Farl just sweats all the time.

He suddenly started improvising a song and danced like a madman last time I hung out with him. Maybe he needs to get a physical and his thyroid checked.

Oh wait, no that's just him being himself.

And I agree with Jact, this thread is killing work production today. Plus I don't want Stef to shank me, so ima duck out.

edit: I cannot spell to save my life

I beg to differ that Mr Teabaggins was born that day...

If memory serves, a day or two before the party, I was very comfortably asleep in my bed only to be jarred awake by something moving the bed.. I woke up to Farrell, in his purest natural state with his balls mere inches from my forehead. Luckily, I was able to fight through the groggy morning lethargy and quickly pull the blankets over my head before I was a victim of this man, acting like an ape, teabagging me.

Thankfully he bounded off my bed and into the main room of the suite, where he vaulted over a couch and then a table, knocking a vase with his swaying nutsack. Monkeyboy was able to rescue the vase before it was broken, but it was a sight like nothing you have seen. All this time, making the noises of a monkey "ooh ooh ah ah AHH AHHHHHH" and doing the ape thing with his arms..

You're paying for my therapy, buster!!!!!!!!

This pic is sorta gay for pay too I have to say, but Farrell pulls it off well!

http://www.homegrowngazette.com/farl/bubblesfarrell.jpg

This kicks ass!

I got woke up the same way that morning. Much worse than the loudest alarm clock you have ever heard.

[QUOTE=LadyMischief;13087600]This pic is sorta gay for pay too I have to


Oh god I remember that, and it was in the suite at the Venetian where you had to notice him bathing if you wanted to get to the toilet. I think he showed off in that tub for hours.

So the first time Jact meets Farrell, Farrell is trying to stick his junk in Jact's mouth.

I feel I got off very light now, very light indeed. also i lied, this thread is too good to leave.

lol, now Lincoln reminds me that he is the one who told me to do it at the party.

"I'm a mamamamamamamonkey" - Rolling Stones

I remember you asking Treasure and I if you should do it. I recall our response was "FUCK YA!". :)

I knew ya loved the cock!

OH MY!! I remember meeting Jact by the pool looking pale, sick and petrified - NOW I know why!!!! Someone's balls were about to do a dance on his face hehehe

Did Farrell play the role of Ernie on My Three Sons when he was a kid?

http://www.sitcomsonline.com/photopo...erniesmile.jpg

The Shlong Remains the Same...(I love that title - very Mel Brooks'ish)

ADG

So Farrell, remember, these pictures are from Lincoln, I'm only the enabler here.. So don't shoot the messenger, fire him not me ;)

How insulting to your male ego can it get? Jenna Fine smoking while you have at her ASS.. LOL!
http://www.homegrowngazette.com/farl...n/1xjf_038.jpg

A few more from Lincoln...

http://www.homegrowngazette.com/farl...ln/1XAA012.jpg

http://www.homegrowngazette.com/farl/lincoln/1d.jpg

Nice fro.....
http://www.homegrowngazette.com/farl/lincoln/2229a.jpg

Another few from Lincoln...

I'm not even sure what to say about that one...
http://www.homegrowngazette.com/farl/lincoln/4m.jpg

http://www.homegrowngazette.com/farl/lincoln/5346x.jpg

http://www.homegrowngazette.com/farl/lincoln/Lani_6.jpg

No wonder he got into the adult business! No other way would that guy ever get laid! o_0

Last few, for now...

THE PORNICORN IS REAL!
http://www.homegrowngazette.com/farl.../pornicorn.jpg

http://www.homegrowngazette.com/farl...ln/tripout.jpg

http://www.homegrowngazette.com/farl...n/undies_1.jpg

Did Farrell play the role of Ernie on My Three Sons when he was a kid?



The Shlong Remains the Same...(I love that title - very Mel Brooks'ish)



Haha that is awesome! Farrell, I didn't know you were a child star. Actually, that explains a lot. :winkwink:

Hey there old buddy!

I think Far-l has gone to the corner, to cry softly while this thread continues to grow.

This picture has a good story behind it.

I was in Portland visiting my pal Lincoln who also happens to work for Homegrown. Lincoln was working with a local radio show called the "Liz Wilde" show and they invited me down to the show to get my haircut on the air by a few naked chicks. (Apparently, Lincoln is like King of All Strippers in P-town)

I had long hair at the time and the directive was simple. Give me a naked mullet. So, after Liz finished an interview with Eartha Kitt the girls jumped me with scissors in hand and started whacking at the mane until I was sporting a mullet Billy Ray Cyrus would be proud of. Then my mission was to go down on the street outside the studio and call in with my cell and do "man on the street" style interviews with Portland locals.

I called myself Rock Hard, the mullet man, and proceeded to entreat innocent passerbys to pet my mullet. I sat next to one ol' salt that had a similar 'do and gave him a wink and a thumbs up... "Nice mullet, man" I told him as if I was now part of an international club whose slogan was "business in the front, party in the back!"

The day was hot and naturally I was sweating like a prize pig. Most people, even a cop, scurried away as I would approach asking for them to pet my pelt.

No one would touch it.

Finally, I offered some gutter punk kids $5 bucks if they would do it.

That hair style was pretty crazy. Sometimes people would literally cross the street when they saw me coming, wearing my wife beater tee, some old jeans, and a pair of snakeskin boots...

Im just getting started..............................

15. Did any of the pornos you've directed had Hollywood stars in them? If so, which ones?

We made a few videos that featured cameos by various non-porn folks. The South Park folks popped up in a few, most notably "Here comes Elska" and "Sex for Life too".

SFL2 also had Kool Keith, Eek-a-Mouse, some announcer from pro-wrestling whose name I can't remember now, an award winning author named Glasgow Phillips, and a few others as well as some incredible music from a bunch of bands that were on the SRH record label like Lucy's Fur Coat.

SFL2 was the comedy porn project that was started with Trey but we never got around to finishing it properly because the whole South Park thing started taking up all his time... go figure...

We had to put out a fractured, unfinished version of it because my bro got so sick of how long it was taking to finish and how much cash had been spent on it.

I have made a promise to myself to finish it this year. Stay tuned!

Bumperoo

I guess I should stop refreshing it, jact? ;)

http://www.orgazmodvd.com/wallpapers...up1024x768.jpg

ADG

What we dont see is Joel was under the bubbles looking for the bar of soap! :Oh crap

I don't even know how to respond to that, that's just... wrong..... so very wrong.

http://www.homegrowngazette.com/farl/thehitchhiker.jpg

C thomas howell?

http://www.badmovieplanet.com/unknow...tures/kid1.jpg

16. You did business with Max Hardcore. Why did you guys part ways?

After making our first LA style porn for Paul Little, we became friends and he began to hire me for other productions, not only as talent but also as a crew member, anal lube dispenser, whipping boy. I was there when Paul and his brother came up with the name "Max Hardcore" which essentially began as a riff off of "Max Headroom". Paul/Max and I would watch everything we shot with a magnifying glass and try to figure out the best ways to improve kind of like watching game footage to figure out what went right or wrong during a game.

I like to tell people I went to the Max Hardcore School of Porn. At a certain point, we convinced Max to come on board with Xplor exclusively and we produced a few series with him but a distributor who went by the name of Chuck Zane was pissed since he figured that he owned the rights to the character since he put out the first Max Hardcore material. This certainly was not the case but that didn't stop Chuck from coming after us and threatening to sue. Chuck incidentally is related to Rob Black and he was pure old school porn kingpin. People always told us to watch out because Chuck was a "connected" guy from back east but I never found my dog's head in my bed or anything like that. He was actually a really nice guy even though he would BK his businesses every two years or so it seemed like.

On a sidenote, we were in Chuck's office amicably settling the Max issues when Rob Black's first porn tape had just come in to his uncle Chuck's office. Chuck made me, my bro, and Max watch it while he ridiculed the quality of it mercilessly.

"Can you believe this guy is related to me?"

We all laughed but a year or so later Rob was winning awards and a darling of the adult press worldwide... a couple of years after that he was under indictment but that is another story.

We sold well with Max but his product was just not the right fit. Max needed someone that would be more excited about moving in the same direction as he was - which meant increasingly more depraved and hardcore. We just weren't comfortable with that at all since our stuff appeals to people that don't like seeing women barfing on erections.

Still friends with Max even though I think it is a bit bizarre that he doesn't want anyone to call him Paul anymore.

I remember we always used to talk about how we would take our evolving skills one day into the mainstream. When I was working on "Orgazmo" Max came down to shoot his cameo. We sat and talked while the lights were being set. Max praised my good fortune. Then, with a bit of melancholy he lamented how by listening to the increasingly bizarre requests of certain vocal fans he had basically gone out on a limb and there was no turning back.

I don't know for sure but I always think that was the day he decided that he would be Max from then on, leaving paul out on a curb by a warehouse on a street somewhere in LA.

lolololol.... yep... heard that one before - especially when that original "the Hitcher" came out.

When i was a kid I had much more blond hair and I looked kind of like that kid from the "lost in space" tv show, billy mumy.

Bit of "Orgazmo" trivia... Not only did i play one of the crew members but I also appear on the boxcover of "the good, the bad, and the jesus" in the video store where joe's girl discovers her fiance is in porn.

What movie was B-side Players on the sound track?

BTW - Ivory is now in business with Zinger after all these years. SRH Clothing has grown incredibly and the label is now Suburban Noize.

http://www.suburbannoizerecords.com/

you speak unknown verbals to us... although my partner is monikered as ivory, i still have no clue as to your defining depiction ...




*blame it on tequila

Nice! Please tell them both that I say hello and send massive love and respect for all the help they gave me back in the day. (SFL2, btw) A bunch of Kevin's bands seemed destined for glory - definitely that guy has worked hard for his success and Ivory was always working double triple overtime to make his piece too. Good for them!

Did you know Al Borda? He used to work in a sublet spot in our SD office and was the guy whose "Whoreos" got us sued by nabisco back in the day. He now owns Skin which continues to blow up... see people everywhere in his stuff.

That whole Nabisco thing would be a good one to jaw on here...

Hope you are still enjoying being a waldorf dad!

I will for sure :)

Yeah, man - Kevin and Ivory are birds of a feather. I think their partnership is also destined for glory. They have a great formula and know their market(s).

I remember Al and Whoreos :winkwink:

Also, I remember January 99' which was the first of many nights I had the opportunity to see YOU in all your glory!

LMFAO

(see question 26)

I know you remember the after party at the Monte Carlo, the chick with the "spear" through her lip trying to pull Andrea onto the bed!?!?! The first of many great/late nights!

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

.. and yeah, loving the waldorf dad thing!

My son is 3 yrs old now and just started nursery school and LOVES it! My daughter is now in the 4th grade and it's amazing how time flies, man. Incredible to see them grow in that environment! :)

Best Ambush ever... :thumbsup

http://i101.photobucket.com/albums/m...e/booger41.jpg

ADG

Bumping this up for the day crew, and more answers... I've known Farrell for years now, spent time with him, and I don't even know some of these stories! Nice stuff :)

ambush interview- hamster style!

Best. Event. Ever. :)

Hahah thanks so glad you thought so!

Tell us how you really feel, Hal. :winkwink:

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

Oh man - I even had a beer and sat down hoping that today was the day he filled this page up and I'd have something to read. I stayed away on purpose *so I wouldn't refresh the page*
:(

I was looking forward to more answers myself! :winkwink: