Economic Models explained with cows - GoFuckYourself.com

pornpf69 · 07-09-2007, 09:10 AM

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow hasropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your
brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

THE ANDERSEN MODEL
You have two cows.
You shred them.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy....

pornpf69 · 08-25-2007, 03:07 PM

I just can't believe that no one has replied to this thread....

Nysus · 08-25-2007, 03:29 PM

I LOL at a few of them.

Thanks for posting!

Vick! · 08-25-2007, 03:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pornpf69

I just can't believe that no one has replied to this thread....

ya strange.

Some of them are really funny.

Marshal · 08-25-2007, 05:45 PM

really funny!

for the read!

bonkerz2007 · 08-25-2007, 06:19 PM

bump for a hilarious thread

tony286 · 08-25-2007, 06:33 PM

That was very funny.

Big_D · 08-25-2007, 07:15 PM

funny shit man, fuck 515am here going to crash

JamesK2 · 08-25-2007, 07:24 PM

aico · 08-25-2007, 07:29 PM

The French one made me laugh.

07-09-2007, 09:10 AM	#1
pornpf69 Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Brasil Posts: 15,778	Economic Models explained with cows SOCIALISM You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour. COMMUNISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk. FASCISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk. NAZISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you. BUREAUCRATISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away... TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. SURREALISM You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons AN AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow hasropped dead. ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull. THE ANDERSEN MODEL You have two cows. You shred them. A FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows. You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows. A JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide. A GERMAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves. AN ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch. A RUSSIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. A SWISS CORPORATION You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them. A CHINESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation. AN INDIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You worship them. A BRITISH CORPORATION You have two cows. Both are mad. A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive. AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate. AN IRAQI CORPORATION Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the ** out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.... __________________ Do you need cheap, fast and reliable porn website hosting? Host Head is the way to go!!** Asian Gay Special \| Live on MSN - Live Webcam Chat \| Live Adult Webcam Performances \| MY SWEET BLACKS LIVE ON CAM Cash X \| OK Pay \| Pukka Ropes \| Pukka Fetish \| STRAPED BLOG \| Male Bound and Fucked Pukka Tranny \| Tattooed Shemales \| She's A He \| Menu Porno \| Porn Performances \| All Chubby MY ICQ# 169833797

08-25-2007, 03:07 PM	#2
pornpf69 Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Brasil Posts: 15,778	I just can't believe that no one has replied to this thread.... __________________ Do you need cheap, fast and reliable porn website hosting? Host Head is the way to go!! Asian Gay Special \| Live on MSN - Live Webcam Chat \| Live Adult Webcam Performances \| MY SWEET BLACKS LIVE ON CAM Cash X \| OK Pay \| Pukka Ropes \| Pukka Fetish \| STRAPED BLOG \| Male Bound and Fucked Pukka Tranny \| Tattooed Shemales \| She's A He \| Menu Porno \| Porn Performances \| All Chubby MY ICQ# 169833797

08-25-2007, 03:29 PM	#3
Nysus Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 7,817	I LOL at a few of them. Thanks for posting! __________________ What name is pr0 / Untouched Markets using these days? Untouched Markets - pr0 - Refund My Money Now Someone owes me $2,000 because they didn't do any work that was paid for pointing at pr0 / William / UntouchedMarkets See https://gfy.com/fucking-around-and-business-discussion/948258-untouchedmarkets-pr0-refund-money-post16744521.html and for more detailed see https://gfy.com/fucking-around-and-business-discussion/948645-re-recent-bullshit-drama-explained-detail-pr0-untouched-markets.html

08-25-2007, 05:45 PM	#5
Marshal Biz Dev and SEO Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 15,180	really funny! for the read! __________________ --- Busy ranking websites on Google...

08-25-2007, 07:24 PM	#9
JamesK2 Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 6,589	__________________

08-25-2007, 06:19 PM	#6
bonkerz2007 Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 794	bump for a hilarious thread

08-25-2007, 06:33 PM	#7
tony286 lurker Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: atlanta Posts: 57,021	That was very funny.

08-25-2007, 07:15 PM	#8
Big_D CRAZY MOFUKKA Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 3,296	funny shit man, fuck 515am here going to crash

08-25-2007, 07:29 PM	#10
aico Moo Moo Cow Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Washington State Posts: 14,748	The French one made me laugh.